I swam, I conquered. [Kapas Marang Swimathon '14]

Let me begin by saying that I was once an overweight, failed, rejected and confused guy. And the peak was at last Raya. The momentum I gained today started from that point onward.

Despite the effort I took to become better before, somehow it's like it keeps yo-yoing around. Just like my weight. My maximum weight was 118.5 kilograms to be exact on the digital scale. Everything was up and down. However, I find new strength and hope. God disconnects to connect. Alhamdulillah. :)







Identity
I know, in order to really improve my life, I have to form a new identity. Apart from inside change in terms of perspective and principle, I also wished to reform my physique. Identity is important. Your behavior is governed by your identity. Just like men won't wear women's cloth, so does fit and strong guys don't eat carelessly at KFC and drink 100Plus.

So, I make the change. I learned what was necessary in healthy body, and I put my aim in becoming at most like Hugh Jackman. Perhaps in another two or three years. Even though when I express my wish, my mother said she doesn't like man with big traps. For me his traps is OKAY.

Training and Nutrition
To swim efficiently, you need strong muscle, good stamina and correct technique. So, I asked for my friend's help who was a regular gym-goer. I learned from him what exercises were needed to stimulate muscle growth in some parts - in the end - I obtained an arsenal of BASIC knowledge on how to make almost every part strong. From biceps, triceps, deltoids, lats, hamstring, core, quad, calves, traps and glutes. It was amazing, by the end of some even-you-don't-realize period, you know a whole lot of thing that people don't know.

So, I went to the gym, I learned the proper technique, and I went swimming, I learned the correct technique. Although it was obvious for me to keep polishing my technique, I was amazed by how much I've progressed. :3

Butterfly!

The training wasn't easy. Vomits and tears were occasional companies. Sometimes, you got angry and frustrated, and that when you performed your first 50 meters butterfly with perfect form. Sometimes, you remembered your past failures, you felt so remorseful and suddenly you were able to deadlift 100 kilograms. That's channeling energy.

Basically, I went jogging almost every morning after Subuh, and 3 weeks before the competition I stopped. I focused on maintaining my muscle and compensated my cardio and endurance in water. I lifted four to five times a week, focusing full body transformation and stressing more on deltoids, triceps, core and legs - the ones that would be used the most during the competition.

My meals then were consisted basically of chicken breast, lot of eggs, pasta, brown rice (I learned to cook them too!), countless veggies (half of them were unsuccessful experiments), and spices and whey protein supply. I learned what types of foods that were needed to support my healthy initiatives, what to avoid and many more. Surprisingly, the budget was low and the nutrition was enough.

During my training, my lifestyle also changed. In order to maximize hypertrophy and recovery, I slept early. I made sure I got enough rest. Stress-free life. I varied my training. I did research, extensive research about division in lifting - powerlifting, bodybuilding, Crossfit and PX90.

Live well
However, I didn't let this health initiative consumed my life. I hanged out with my friends, and I planned my cheat days so that it could be accommodated with my usrah - in which usually we would eat a lot!

I also took note of Arnold's advice - build your body and give back to community. I taught my overweight friends and housemates how to live healthily. My room mate loss 5 kg in two weeks :) I tried to educate my family about good foods and bad foods.

We stayed away from oily foods, excessive carbs, and we bought a lot of fruits and experimented with various veggies (most of the time haha!)


Kapas Marang Swimathon
At last, the awaited moment came. One week before competition, I virtually didn't do anything. Just maintained my healthy foods and toured KL with my siblings.

Kapas Marang Swimathon was a race - long distance from Kapas Island to Mainland Pantai Kelulut. Around 6.5 kilometers shortest distance. This year, the participants were around 530++ from all around the world including USA, Belgium, France, South Africa and many more. About 60 kayaks, 4 jet skis, and two big maritime boat were placed for safety.

My plan was just me going bringing a tent so I could sleep near the beach. But, fortunately, my parents wanted to come along (I was so happy!). They rented a home stay, and we had a lot of fun the day before. My siblings went to the beach where I would be swimming and they played around. Me? I just watched the choppy and big waves come and go. I enjoyed the moment. The happiness. The near-accomplishment feeling.

Three days prior, I have started my carb loading phase to increase my glycogen store. So, yeah, I ate a lot. Alhamdulillah.

That day, I woke at 4.30 in the morning. Did my qiam, kissed my sleeping mom and siblings and went to the jetty at 5.30 am with my dad. I felt proud - seeing so many Muslims did stop at the surau to pray just before the ferry took off at 6.00 am. Muslim swimmer!

On board of the ferry, I met two new friends. We talked about how we trained and what foods we ate and many more. At 7.30 am, the body marking started. A 228 digits were marked at my lengan. I ate my power bar. Just so that I would not exhaust myself too much during the swim. Funny, some pakciks went to mark their numbers on their bellies. It was cute though.

We had around 30 minutes to warm up. I jogged a little, do some push ups and stretching, just to get my blood pumping.

There was something I wanna search during the swim. I don't know. What I knew was I just needed to complete the swim. I prayed to Allah before the gun was shot - so that I found what I was searching for.

During a warm up session. You see all those boats. That's security. 

We had a little bit briefing. And we were informed that that day current was a bit strong and we need to see the direction the boat was anchored to figure out the strong current. Mr Chan, who was the director said the shortest distance was 6.5 kilometers but the total distance we might swim due to the strong current probably about to 8- 10 kilometers - unless our stroke was strong and steady, we would be surely pushed aside a little bit time to time.

Some of us wanted to race and finish the swimathon as soon as possible. But there people like me, who were just there to enjoy the view and cruise peacefully through the beautiful vast ocean.

Bamm! The gun was shot. I quickly started my freestyle. Not too slow, but not too fast. Relaxing and keeping pace with the main crowd. It was so enjoying and relieving. I felt so free. Some of us started to do strokes for fun - butterfly and breast stroke. I was too. It was so fun, I waited for the big wave to come then splash I stormed out from the water with my butterfly stroke. It felt so majestic! I saw a few pakciks in front of me also were doing the same thing.

In the middle, I started feeling disoriented. About 1 hour 45 minutes after the release. I had my watch. So I watched my time closely to track my course. A kayak called me out, saying that I was so far from the main course. The current pushed many of the swimmers aside. The current was strong. I needed to learn to use my front hand during the freestyle to 'feel' whether the wave would be up or down so that I could catch my breath properly. If not, when my face emerged, it would be covered in water then I would lose my chance to breath properly. Breathing needed to be kept steady. I didn't want any accumulation of lactic acid to interrupt the swim.


There was a time when I lifted my head to relax - I saw nothing in front of me, behind, left and right. No kayaks, no main land, no pulau, nothing. Perhaps the waves were too high I couldn't see anything. I felt afraid. But then, I felt thrilled. Still, in the midst of the swim, I couldn't help but to feel we humans are incomparably small. So small, tiny, and helpless. That's the way I felt during the swim. To Allah, the Lord of the seven seas I praised. Subhanallah. In the middle of that swim, I felt the loneliness. Only Allah and me. It felt romantic though.

I slowed my pace a while. My watch showed 2 hours 30 minutes had elapsed. The fatigue just started to kick in. I stopped at a kayak for one minute to drink water. In that condition, water was essential. I swam and accidentally gulped a lot of sea water. So, I was dehydrated. Then, Alhamdulillah, I saw the balloon arc finishing gate at far sight.

"At last" I sighed. The sun started to glare already. I did not apply any lotion or sunblock cream. At that time, there were three swimmers with me. And we seemed to struggle to set the direction of our swim because the current kept pushing us away. We needed to do sighting every few and then to really optimize our remaining energy. I felt so exhausted. My deltoids and triceps started to burn.

The last phase seemed the longest. The water kept pushing me back. Felt tired of sighting, I just counted until 200 strokes every time to sight.

At last! I arrived. I saw my brothers Ayaz dan Saif were jumping excitedly seeing me out of the water. Other swimmers also beside me, three of them. All of us somehow a bit disoriented. We could not stand properly and walked like a drunk person. We were greeted by a government official. He gave me the shirt and congratulated me with the finisher medal.

Somewhere I belong
I searched for my mum and dad quickly after that. I found my mum and I hugged her very very closely. Tears escaped my eyes. Thank you mama. I hugged my dad. He gave me a manly pat behind my back and said, "Mama cakap menyesal lepaskan Asif dalam laut tadi. Ingatkan asif tak sampai-sampai mama takut asif lemas" and he laughed. My mum laughed also. Well, that was happiness. And my brothers all came to me to peluk-peluk. Haha geli. Tak pernah nak peluk sebelum ini pun, tetiba.

Still disoriented!

I found what I searched. Alhamdulillah. It's a secret. But, trust me, the swim was worthy. Definitely.

I shut down during the trip back home, and my deltoids and traps were sore as bad as they could be. I could not even lift my hands to drive. Imagine!

And the sijil!

One day, I will compete in a triathlon event. Aim set. Let us execute.

Baba

Hari ini birthday Baba.

I love him so much. But I rarely have the courage to say 'I love you' face to face. Only through sms.

I learned so much from him. He teaches me how real men should behave.

Sometimes, I got overboard. He was cool and patience. He waited, and reasoned with me. He cooled me with reasons and explanations. But often, he chose to let things settle down before he started to reason.

He does not compromise when it comes to our obedience to our mother. Often, when other things he kept quiet, he will clearly warn us, about how children should obey and respect their mother. And he has shown the best example. Despite his style, we could see that he was a very soleh son. He did everything a son could do. Until the day my tokmek tok ayah passed away, I could see how he served them personally.

When they died, he did not cry in front of us. But I know he cried heavily behind us. Allah has blessed me with a clear example of a soleh son. And he is my dad.

Often, my dad will always keep quiet when it comes to arguing. Even my mum said, one of the reasons she loves my dad because he was so gentlemen, he will let my mum win in arguments. Although my mum will eventually follow his decision.

He loved knowledge and never stop learning. He has the humility to ask his son to teach him Tajwid al Quran, and about other things. He always tadabbur alQuran.

He is not from any Islamic school or any background education of sort, but he taught us, men must always go to mosque. That's one of the criterias of being a man. He always told us, when someone asks you for money or help, give. It's your obligation to help, and don't worry about yourself, Allah will take care that. I never saw him say no to any beggars. Not even once. In the midst of our financial hardship, he was so generous.

His tawakkal was unbelievable. There was one time, my bike was stolen. I was so afraid. I thought he would be angry. And when I told him, he said, "Takpelah rezeki orang. Kalau baik, kita dapat balik motor itu. Kalau tak. Tak apa". Two days later a drug addict found the bike. Alhamdulillah. My dad even gave him some money.

Somehow, I respect him so much for reasons I can't explain. I don't know how to explain it. And I love him. I see in him a good son, a good man and a good husband. And, for all that matter, a good father. May Allah bless you heaven together with Mama.

Thank you baba. Asif sayang sangat kat baba. Terima kasih sebab jaga Asif. I am what I am today, because of you. And I hope I can be a good husband and father like you.

P/s - I told my dad today, I scored 98% for my calculus. He said that it was a very meaningful present for his bday and ucapan motivasi. Perhh..anak lelaki mana tak menangis bapak cakap macam tu.

P/s - he never told me. But I know he read my blog. He often said things that I dont mention outside, only here. And it happened so many times, I thought he was one of my regular readers.

Saya nak jadi Engineer yang berjaya!

Sekadar hiasan.

I am now on my way to becoming a power engineer. Even in my wildest imagination, I've never dreamed about it. But, here I am. In Penang. Studying one the hardest branches of engineering, electrical. Coming to Penang have made me revised almost everything about my whole life. About how I view the world, how I handle my emotion - this is so true since I am a very bad first-timer, and most importantly why all things that have happened to me happened. Almost every day, after Subh prayer, I would look outside my room asking  to Allah the hikmah and pondering the moments. My room faced a huge field where cows grazed. I lived at 6th floor, so you can imagine how beautiful it could be. I love doing that. The air was so fresh and cold.

Allah lets me start anew :) 

By of His grace, I would wake up every day, and never failed to utter my syukur. My early day prayer would sound somehow like this;

"Oh Allah... I am thankful for everything. For my heart that never fails me to put my faith in You. For my eyes in which I can see beautiful things. For my nose - I could breath the cold air every morning. For my ears that often took me away blissfully when hearing Al Quran and music. For my intellect and my ability to observe that always made me stunned and humbled in front of Your genius creation. For blessing me with such an amazing family. For the love you gave me to love. For my feelings of care towards others. For Iman, in which with it I would strive to seek to understand the wisdom of good and bad in my life. For letting me becoming a Huffaz and giving me the chance to preserve it. For letting me to become an Ummah of Prophet Muhammad SAW. For giving me the way to embrace Islam as my way of life. And most importantly, without it my life would not mean a thing, for letting You being my God, and for letting me to be your servant. Bless me and bless my life, and bless the people I love". [This prayer was inspired along the way when I read buku Kecerdasan Asma'ul Husna. The book was so thick, and I was so laaaaazzzyy to renew it at the library, I had to pay RM 6.00 fine in the end. -.-]

My plan

Dulu-dulu, my mind is set to becoming a physicist. Now, I've set my aim to become an engineer. So, let me tell you my plan and you will help me by praying for me. I will finish my study and I will work for big companies like TnB. After four to five years, I would appeal to my employer to continue my master part-time, and ask my employer to sponsor my PhD. I want to do my master or PhD overseas, and I will bring my wife there. After finishing my PhD, I would to take on the 'Ir' title. After that, I plan to open up my own consultation firm. From there, I will apply to be a part-time lecturer. By entering academics arena, I will be able to do networking in academics research. Just like UPM did with Islamic University of Gaza, thanks to Dr Hafidzi. So, I plan to collaborate with Palestinians. My experience as a personal escort and interpreter for two Imam Muda Gaza last Ramadan have made realized, how much they suffer not only in terms of medicine and food, they lacked almost everything. Job opportunities to electrical power. Almost everything. And I cannot stand to let things go that way. After collaborating, I want to open up orphanage and animal care centre. Our prophet loved orphans and animals. I want to place the orphanage near Al-Amin or any MUSLEH school. So that they can attend the very special school in my heart and go through tarbiyah. And at nights, they will also be loving wardens waiting for them. Not wardens with cane and strictness, but wardens with smiles, patience, and heart. If we read Prophet Muhammad's sirah, we will realize that Prophet Muhammad had never once laid its hand on any kids. When kids came to him, he would play with them. He would hug them and cherish them. He would praise them. Rindunya Nabi :'(

And animal centre. I got three cats when I was in primary school. Kitty, Kidtun, Kittan. Kitty and Kidtun are cats with spots black and white. When I berkhatan (traditional and painful like api), I used to hang kain pelekat on top of me. People yang berkhatan traditionally would know this. During this period, those two naughty cats would jump over the kain pelekat. Macam saja-saja. Sometimes they 'accidentally' jump on the kain pelekat and on the spot and I would scream so loudly and painfully. Many times. My dad once made the decision to throw them away. My dad brought them so far from our home at night. My brother and I cried heavily. You know what happened? In the morning, when I opened the door, Kitty and Kidtun jumped on me. I was so happy. My Kittan died in a car accident. It meowed so weirdly in front of my house one day, its belly was crushed. After those three passed away, I've never had any animals in my life. I loved them. And dogs! Although I cannot touch dogs, and I love dogs and I often watched 'The Dog Whisperer', I want to hire people so that they can care for stray cats and dogs. The problem with The Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan's method in handling dogs is that they don't work for cats(Of course, the method was meant for dogs =.='). When I meet cats, I often try the techniques I learned from him to those cats. But as always, I'll end up looking like a fool trying to shh shh the cat to sit and stay. And the cats will always end up looking at me with the expression "Pehal mamat ni. Buang tebiat apa?" and go away ignoring me. Haha.

I want to start 'dapur amal' as in the US too. Few things I learned last year. There are many homeless people in Malaysia. I once slept at a bus stop near Jalan Raja Laut (my old bad habit - I tend up to wander at nights if I don't feel good and stop somewhere to sleep), an old man approached me asking for just RM2. I asked what for. He said, he was hungry. I gave him some money. If you want to know, there are a few 'dapur amal' di Malaysia. 'Dapur amal' is a food centre where people who don't have enough money to eat or just homeless can come and eat. For free. People who have never been through poverty would never understand. But we can try and be considerate. I myself never feel that poverty. I feel so pity when I see many 'pengemis' at mosque and pasar. We know ada tempat yang ada sindiket. My principle - I will help for now. Beli nasi untuk mereka, beli air. Bagi kuih untuk anak-anak mereka. Entah. I don't know. Prophet Muhammad in one story, gave a man money for him to buy an axe and find some firewood to sell. That's how we should help. But, for now, how? I don't know.

These are my aims for now.

And for that to come true, I must work hard. I think if I keep the pace as I did this semester, insyaAllah I will be there.

It's a long way to go. And it is not easy, I know. But now, I am working with a power engineer who owns a power company and at the same time a part-time lecturer. He supervised the RnD robotic team I am in. So, it is not impossible. I know.

Apa yang constant?

Dreams may change. Although mine are still not. The most important thing is, you know your true place. Why do you want to chase your dreams and how? Always keep Allah as your priority. Always.

And along the way, it can only be achieved by tarbiyah.

I choose to be in IKRAM. Each has their choices. One of my anak usrah chose to be in ISMA. He once asked me what are the differences between jemaahs? Alhamdulillah. I was taught to highlight ONLY the good of others. Not weaknesses. Although in the midst of critical analysis, we tend to open up other weaknesses, but no. We are Muslims, we don't do that. We choose to do da'wah not because we want them to join our jemaah. No. We choose to do da'wah because it is our responsibility. And we do da'wah to invite others to ISLAM. And we chose what we choose because we believe that is the best choice for us to convey Islam.

The moment my anak usrah chose to be in ISMA, yes, it disappointed me a bit. But, I must accept it. And I accepted it. The good moment came when we agreed, one day maybe when our generation led the jemaah, we may at last come to an understanding and join again as one. InsyaAllah. Or maybe not. Still, he is good with me till today. Like nothing happened.

So, regardless of our jemaah, we share the same responsibility. Either you are in PAS, tabligh, ISMA, or Haluan. We invite others to Islam, and we Islah each other. Da'wah and Islah. We have differences and SIMILARITIES. Look at our own body. Some cells bring oxygen, some cells defend the body from bad agents, some cells connect and respond. Brain decides, hand feels, foot walks, eye sees, nose smells, ear listens. Our own body is a great example of harmony. Harmony - differences are dealt effectively, and similarities dimanfaatkan optimally. We share the same goal.

Islam itu rahmah. Seluruh 'alam. Muslims and non-Muslims will feel it. If we practice Islam, truly, it will be rahmah. From the individual level where Islam shapes good persons. Good persons make happy family. Happy family makes good neighbour. Good neighbours form an understanding community. Community where religious rights are respected, understanding governs, and values uphold. Noble community demands clean and efficient administration where the demands are rooted from caring concern towards future generation and their welfare. A government where 'good governance' is applied. Muslims and non-Muslims work together to strive for a better world. A world where sensitive issues are countered with akhlaq and effective intellectual response. Think what would happen if all of Muslims behave the way we should behave.

What I wish to be the constant in my life? Tarbiyah :)

So that others, you and I may leave this world in peace. I want when my soul returns, Allah greets me as in Surah al Fajr.

 (It will be said to the pious): "O (you) the one in (complete) rest and satisfaction![27] "Come back to your Lord, Well-pleased (yourself) and well-pleasing unto Him![28] "Enter you, then, among My honoured slaves,[29] "And enter you My Paradise!"[30]

The English translation is insufficient. The verses themselves are beautiful. The arabic words used are so deep. Deeeeep... Memuncak kerinduan rasa.

Allahumma amitna bi mauti syuhada'.

All in all

1. JOM! Strive for a better life and a better world. Turn your dream into actions. Don't just sit there.

2. Baru habis seminar. Nanti kalau successfully double duit I'll share. Sekarang tak boleh lagi. Dia suruh ada bukti baru bagi tahu orang. The main speaker, successfully turn USD 1000 to 2 million USD in a year.

3. Tadi buat majlis pecah botol Ayaz. Bukan pecah berkecai macam tu. Cuma, just nak rasmikan pada ayaz lepas ni tak guna botol dah. "No bottles are harmed". Selepas ni Ayaz tak minum susu guna botol dah. Abang-abang kat rumah semua menjerit "Yes! Zaman kegelapan dah berakhir! Kezaliman botol susu dah berakhir!". Although ada lagi sorang maharaja botol susu - yang paling kecik Saif. [Kelihatan Saif gelak jahat sorang-sorang di sudut ruang tamu].

4. Malam ini pergi ini pulak.

Conclusion

:)

I Will Love You Forever

Dah sampai masa, adik-adik aku dah makin besar. It's time for me to let go, and not being worried. Biar dulu banyak kali tegur, marah, bengang sebab tak do their best in life, tapi sekarang dua orang dah besar. Naim dah masuk UIA PJ, Iman akan masuk Kolej Professional MARA Julai ini, di Kuantan, in which if YOU read this, please check on her if you have time. I've already passed her name to PIC kawasan, but just in case, would you mind to check on her once a while di sana?

Being an abang sulung is not an easy task. Heavy burden and expectations from parents, and at the same time, in my case, enjoying my life. If there are problems in the family, it's you who takes charge. You'll be a mediator if anything critical happens between your parents and your fellow siblings, and you be the pressure-person if your fellow siblings sometimes lost their ways. And also you'll be a constant reminder for your parents, and because you are their first-born, you know your parents the most. And you know sometimes, it's better to sacrifice yourself for the sake of keeping the family intact. You are the one who holds both secrets from your parents and your siblings. Your siblings entrusted their secrets to you, although sometimes you figure them out. Your parents also discussed most of their problems with you. It's on your shoulders your parents cried, and it's you who'll take the blame if something happens to your siblings. It's natural.

You'll be the one your parents see if both of them had problems with each other.

Being a boy has another setback. You love your family so much, but you don't have the means to show your love, except by action. You don't know how to express 'I love you', yet you kissed your parents' cheek every time nak keluar rumah. You don't know how to bermanja, except when you fell sick, you take the chance to baring atas peha emak. To be tended and taken care of. When you are healthy, you are expected to be independent again and set examples for your siblings. Atau masa naik motor dengan ayah, dapat peluk puas-puas kat belakang. You protect your family, and when someone messes with your family, either you have the courage to let your siblings settle it as a growing person, or you take charge and someone will be sorry.

Being a first born and a boy will turn you as an expert of unspoken love. It's just lately that I have the courage to tell 'I love you' face to face to my parents, even though in my heart, those faces are the faces that I remember almost every second of my life. My solat will never be perfect without prayers included for my parents and siblings. I utter their names more than I could remember in my prayers after solat and ma'thurat every day. My successes were all fueled by the inspiration to make my parents proud. I myself don't really want all that. What I want is to make my parents and siblings proud.

Most of the times, I let my siblings solved their own problems. So they could grow up as a strong person.

I'm a person of silence. I don't know how to show my love. I'm learning slowly how to show my love, with the presence of my two little brothers Ayaz and Saif.


Ianya rindu yang memacu kehidupan. Rindu pada keluarga, rindu yang teramat sangat pada Nabi Muhammad. Dalam solat dan doa, dalam tahiyat dan selawat, kerinduan yang membuatkan hati ini terus segar dan kukuh menolak jahiliyah-jahiliyah hari ini. Jahiliyah di luar diri, juga jahiliyah dalam diri. Jahiliyah yang merosak hati. Rindulah yang menzahirkan cinta, moga Cintaku pada Rabb lebih diutamakan.

Allahumma amitna bi mauti syuhada'.

To Naim and Iman, choose your own path, and choose wisely. Hidup ini untuk Allah, and hanya untuk Allah.  Make sure everything revolves around that. Sandarkan setiap pilihan pada Allah, insya Allah tak ada penyesalan. Don't be afraid to fail, for experience is a great teacher. Jangan tinggal tarbiyah, sebab tarbiyah itu darah dan jantung kehidupan. Other than that, I as your brother, will support your decision if it's according to the will of Allah, and if it isn't, I will always be there to set you straight. I'm a guardian, assigned by Allah to guard you, and I will keep you safe until the day Allah takes my life. Love you.


The above picture tells about the character I adore the most, Uchiha Itachi. Read about him, and you'll find a very valuable principle that governs his life.

Majlis Khatam Al Quran Naim

Assalamu 'alaikum.

Sabtu lepas, pergi ke Darul Quran. Naim, adik saya yang kedua, berumur 19 tahun, Alhamdulillah telah berjaya mengkhatamkan Quran di Darul Quran.

Moga perjalanan dia selepas ini tak terlalu berliku sangat sampai tersesat, dipermudahkan, dan smooth. Moga perjalanan dia tak macam abang dia, moga perjalanan dia terus tiba ke destinasi. Moga perjalanan dia diberkati, dipermudah, dan segalanya dirahmati Allah.

He's very unlike me. If I love to switch channel to documentaries about space, science, history and military, he has a different taste. He likes to watch documentaries about animals, animals, and animals. If I like to read, he doesn't. He likes to socialize with people. If my siblings slack out with their chores, I keep it silent and do it myself, or just let things as it is. But he likes it more to berleter to them, and tells them to do it faster and quicker. And sometimes, I am the one who gets his leteran. Among all of us, he is the most hardworking - in terms of house chores. In my history of taekwondo, I was with him almost all of the time. We are both black belt holders, but we rarely spar with each other, if I could remember, never. I always remember my memory with him in a tournament, where we fought each other, and after putting all his efforts he couldn't find a way to beat me, his last resort was to sondol me out of the ring. He ran towards me so fast, he sondol and hugged me, and pushed me out. Haha.. Until now, whenever we talk about that, I'll always bring that up.

My mum, Naim, Saif, Iman and Amru.

He's a good brother, although we disagree on many many things. He's a respectful brother. You know, whenever kami salam, he always kiss my hand. Can you imagine that, a brother only two years younger, now 19 years old, kiss his older brother's hand? Even in front of his friends. So, I respect him so much. Although I never ever prefer my hand to be treated like that, not at all, hey, I'm only his brother not some kind of ustaz, teachers, or even parents. But he still does it. And I always pray for him for that. May Allah walk along his life with him. And so he does not make the same mistake he once did.

I always remind him, to read. Be knowledgeable. He sometimes seems to be enjoying life too much.

That's it. Lepas ini dia akan sambung UIA in Engineering. I wonder, if anyone from my siblings wants to be a doctor. Setakat ini macam tak ada. My younger brother in form 3, he wants to be like Nostradamus. =.= Apa hal macam tu pun tak tahu lah.

May Allah bless him all the way. Along his life, until the end. Tahniah Naim! Jaga amanah Quran elok-elok.

Darul Quran.

A calm and very beautiful place. Come visit there one day, surely you'll be astounded.

Few buildings in a big place. Yang lain semua alam semulajadi.

Very peaceful, tepi tasik ni lah petang-petang akan nampak student wanita penuh untuk hafal Quran. Layan sentimental mungkin.

We students used to pimpin tangan these guys every day. Mereka OKU, buta, dan mereka menghafal Quran guna Braille. Kata salah seorang dari mereka, Quran itu cahaya di hati.

Tunggangan baru, Alhamdulillah.

Hari tu, motor Xcite rosak, semput katanya. Bawak-bawak mati tiba-tiba. Motor yang dah accident dua tiga kali dengan aku sama-sama. Cabut itu ini, calar itu ini. Motor yang dah banyak sangat berjasa pada aku. Sayang sangat. Dah berapa kali hantar baiki, rosak juga. Sampai haritu nak pergi program, on the way, rosak. Tersadai tengah highway. Immobile lah jugak beberapa hari.

Ada kelmarin, ayah aku close deal dengan seorang abang ni. Beliau belikan motor baru. Taklah motor BARU, motor second hand jugak, maklumlah, orang bujang tak payah nak power sangat lah motor BARU. Cukup untuk keperluan. Ayah aku tahu aku minat motor besaq. Aku pernah minta RX-Z. Tapi motor tu panas sangat, sebab kawasan rumah ini banyak pencuri motor. Yamaha LC jiran aku yang pasang rantai dan alarm pun diangkut motor bawa lari naik lori. Motor SS aku pun kena curi tahun lepas. Jadi untuk tak ambil risiko, ambil motor kurang panas. Ingatkan motor cup biasa je. Tengok-tengok dapat motor ni, Alhamdulillah, seronok tak terkata. Motor ni tak panas di pasaran penjenayah (Ceh.. cakap macam kita ni penjenayah jugak ye dak? -.-)

Ayah aku[dalam gambar]  close deal malam tadi.

Jelita sungguh!! 

Kena banyak berlatih posture baru. Tak biasa. Sebab biasa motor kapcai dengan motor Jaguh je. Motor macam ini tak pernah lagi. Insya Allah, moga Allah berkati pembelian ini, berkati aku sebagai rider dia, dan bantu aku untuk menjadi rider yang bermanfaat untuk dakwah. Lepas ini boleh lah nak pergi daurah ke, jogging ke, sekolah ke naik motor ni. Tapi malu sikit lah, segan. Motor cantik, yang bawaknya tak berapa skillful. Takpe, pelan-pelan kayuh!

Moga Allah limpahkan berkat ke atas ayah aku, aku, dan motor ini. Terima kasih Baba!

Selamat tinggal Xcite! T_T

Askar Palestin Plastesin - [Global March to Jerusalem]

Salam.

Saya suka tunjuk pada adik-adik kecil saya, mengenai video-video Palestin, penindasan hak asasi manusia di seluruh dunia. Walaupun soalan yang ditanya ketika saya memasang video itu selalunya sukar untuk dijawab, contoh "Kereta kebal mana lagi kuat?, Askar ni baik ke jahat?, Kenapa orang Israel tembak budak?, Mana Allah tak tolong ke orang Palestin?, Pistol tu kalau kene tembak sakit ke?, Berdarah boleh mati ke?", tapi untuk kesedaran masa depan mereka, saya layan je. Ada satu hari, mereka beli Plastesin, saya tunjuk video-video Global March to Jerusalem, ini hasil karya saya dan mereka, Ayaz dan Saif. :D

Rumah orang Palestin

Adik-adik Palestin

Saja letak, nak tunjuk betapa keciknya model kami. Seni sungguh har har har..[poyo]

Adik-adik Palestin dengan pahlawan Palestin, dengan Bazuka dan roket mereka

Belakang tu macam mine, pijak meletup mati.

************************************************

Nak buat satu pengumuman. Ada event baru, nak anda semua sertai sama-sama. Samada di Malaysia, atau di luar negara. Yang lagi untung untuk mereka yang belajar di Timur Tengah.

Inisiatif baru dianjurkan, untuk mengajak semua citizen dunia yang mengambil berat terhadap hak asasi dan keadilan agar menyertai 'non-violent civil resistance' pada 30 Mac 2012 seluruh dunia. Event ini akan membawa mereka yang menyertai perarakan ini ke point terdekat tempat masing-masing dengan Jerusalem. Malah yang di Jordan, Syria, Mesir, point terdekat mereka ialah di gun-point Israeli soldiers. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar.

Anda boleh baca mengenai Global March to Jerusalem di link di header blog saya di atas. Anda boleh baca About. Kalau anda ingin tahu mengenai objektifnya, anda boleh baca di Objectives. Kalau anda ingin tahu macam mana ia dilaksanakan, anda boleh klik Action Plan. Untuk website Gm2J Malaysia, anda boleh klik di sini.

Setakat ini sebanyak 23 NGO di Malaysia yang sudah mendaftar untuk terlibat bersama GM2J.

1. Al-Mustafa Foundation Malaysia
2. Aqsa Syarif Berhad
3. Dewan Pemuda Masjid Malaysia
4. Global Peace Mission
5. Islamic Relief Malaysia
6. Kelab Putera 1 Malaysia
7. Malaysian Medical Relief Society (MERCY Malaysia)
8. Malaysian Social Research Institute (MSRI)
9. Muslim Care Malaysia
10. Palestine Centre of Excellence (PACE)
11. Palestinian Cultural Organization Malaysia (PCOM) 
12. Persatuan Bulan Sabit Merah (PBSM)
13. Pertubuhan IKRAM Malaysia (IKRAM)
14. Pertubuhan Jamaah Islah Malaysia (JIM)
15. Pertubuhan Mawaddah Malaysia
16. Sekretariat ABIM Pusat
17. Sekretariat HALUAN Palestin
18. Sekretariat MAPIM
19. Viva Palestina Malaysia (VPM)
20. Yayasan Amal Malaysia
21. Yayasan Keamanan Sedunia Perdana (PGPF)
22. Yayasan Salam Malaysia
23. Yayasan Wanita Islam (YATI)

Tidak dipastikan andai ada lagi NGO lain yang ingin menyertai. Segalanya tertakluk pada keputusan mesyuarat. Anda boleh baca lanjut di sini Senarai NGO.

Wallahu a'lam. Segala usaha kita cuba, hasilnya kita serah pada Allah.

Konferens Riang

Masa kali pertama aku mendapat senarai nama daripada penyelaras, "Allah.. layak ke aku nak bawak budak-budak ni? Tak apa. Pelan-pelan kayuh". Masa kali pertama liqa', macam-macam fikrah gamaknya. Semua ada. Mereka ahli Nuqaba' Council SMIAAG. Mereka ini semua naqib-naqib untuk halaqah adik-adik tingkatan satu dan dua. Kali pertama liqa', aku buat jamuan. Depan pejabat sekolah. Nak tengok sorang-sorang, kenal dalam-dalam. Biar rapat hati.

Selepas itu, ada yang mula tak datang. Aku tahu - mereka tak bersetuju dengan dakwah Ikhwan. Advanced sungguh budak-budak zaman sekarang. Aku masa form 5 tak tahu pun mende alah macam ini. Tapi tak apa. Proceed dengan siapa yang ada. Mula-mula agak awkward. Ke arah mana aku nak bawa anak buah aku. Silibus ada, tapi aku rasa tak sesuai dengan mereka. Aku pun jumpa penyelaras, minta nak bawakan beberapa topik lain dari silibus. Alhamdulillah, diluluskan.


Membina, bukan sahaja tautan hati, tapi kefahaman - Muharikah
Dalam tempoh pertama, aku ulangkaji balik nota-nota lama usrah dulu. Ambil buku rujukan modul tarbiyah Islamiyah yang aku beli masa aku jaulah di Indonesia, rujuk balik Maza Ya'ni. Aku bentang tajuk Madlulusy Syahadah (Dalil-dalil syahadah), Syarat Syahadah, Ma'na La Ilaha Illallah. Semua ini berjalan dengan panjang dan perlahan. Aku sediakan peta minda. Nota. Aku selang-selikan dengan ta'aruf. Iya. Sebab aku masih baru dengan mereka, aku nak bina tautan hati. Sesi ini agak lama. Tambah pula topik ini topik aqidah. Nabi Muhammad SAW ambil masa nak dekat 13 tahun, tanam aqidah dalam dada sahabat betul-betul. Tanam iman dalam-dalam.

Kemudian aku masuk bab nubuwwah. Lepas aku rasa semua dah jelas, aku proceed dengan buku 'Apa erti aku menganut Islam?' bahagian pertama. Bab Aqidah sahaja sudah makan masa yang lama. Bila tanya balik naqib aku pasal tajuk-tajuk aqidah itu untuk clear betul-betul, selalu kene bidas - "Itulah..dulu masa ana explain, anta main, anta tido, anta makan..ha..skng datang merayu nak talaqqi pulak". Aduh. Setempek kena. Dalam hati nak tergelak. Perli-perli dia pun, akhirnya dapat juga duduk semeja. Dia korbankan masa bertahun-tahun bina kami masa di Al-Amin. Dari tingkatan tiga lagi. Aku dan kawan-kawan aku pula, kalau ada bantal krohhh, ada keropok ngappp, ada air slurrrp. Sebab itu bila aku fikir balik, kalau dia boleh bersabar dengan kerenah kami, kalau dia sanggup endure lamanya kami nak develop kefahaman dan minat - aku mesti boleh. Aku bersetuju dengan Ustaz Hasrizal - sesimple mana presentation kita, haruslah ada preparation. Lagi-lagi dengan anak-anak usrah. Untuk membina manusia, perlu ada banyak faktor hadir serentak. Perlunya niat yang betul, semangat dan jiddiyah yang tinggi, sistem gerak kerja yang berkesan, silibus yang teratur, dan paling penting sekali - redha Allah. Yang penting, kita ambil serius dan buat terbaik untuk membina manusia.

10 peribadi muslim

Masa ini, fokus aku untuk bina peribadi Muslim. Memang aku sendiri masih cuba untuk fulfill perkara ini. Dan aku nak mereka tahu aku pun bersama-sama dengan mereka untuk membina diri mereka. 10 Peribadi Muslim."Lambat lah bang nak kahwin kalau tunggu semua ni siap..". =.=' Asyik nak kahwin je. "Tak apa, nta buat, nanti ada lah bunga yang sedang membina diri pun sampai. Kalau dah sampai seru, sama-sama lah bina diri dan masjid."


Quran wanewani! - Benih suburrr..
Tiap-tiap kali mula halaqah, aku mula dengan baca Quran. Kemudian aku minta seorang demi seorang round table, cuba explain pengajaran yang mereka dapat dari ayat yang kami baca. Setiap kali. Aku nak tekankan betapa seorang ikhwah perlukan Quran. Biar mereka kenal Quran macam kenal tapak tangan sendiri. Tengok Quran-Quran akhawat, fuuh. Berseri-seri dengan pelekat warna-warni. Silau mata memandang. Tapi ikhwah tak perlu sangat lah nak pelekat-lekat kan? Kita main lekat sikit-sikit je. Untuk tahun ini sahaja - aku go through Maza Ya'ni bahagian pertama. Aku tanam dalam-dalam sirah-sirah nabi dan sahabat, fasa Makkah & fasa Madinah. Selalu buat kuiz. Minta mereka kaitkan diri dengan sahabat-sahabat nabi. Kaitkan sehari-hari dengan nabi. Biar dekat di hati. Sampai masa tamrin mereka, penceramah tanya soalan pasal sirah - mereka lah yang menjawabnya, laju pula. Penceramah tanya, mereka angkat, jawab. Tanya, angkat, jawab. Lepas itu semua pandang aku buat muka bangga sorang-sorang dapat jawab soalan penceramah.

Lepas segmen sirah, masuk ahwalul muslimin. Hal ehwal umat Islam. Aku suka cerita pasal Palestin. Sebab aku nak mati dekat sana satu hari nanti. Lepas itu, aku open counter untuk mereka bercerita update diri, ibadah, luahan hati dan hal-hal sekolah. Sebab mereka pimpinan sekolah, kadang-kadang sesi itu jadi panjang. Sampai ada yang tertinggal bas. Tumpang orang lain balik. Bulatan comel aku buat tiap-tiap Jumaat, 4.30 sampai 6.30 petang. Kadang-kadang anjak Khamis, sebab nak iftar sekali. Akhir sekali, mutaba'ah ibadah. (*Ada part yang dirahsiakan. Harap maklum.)

 Kadang-kadang, bila fikir balik tanggungjawab yang dipikul sangat berat. Aku perlu menggalas tugas walid - syeikh - qaid - 'alim. Kasih sayang - pembentukan diri - kepimpinan - ilmu. Banyak betul. Tapi bila fikir balik dah ramai yang usaha sehabis baik mereka untuk membina manusia, dan Allah permudahkan mereka. Aku juga menginginkan begitu.

Pelik, bila aku yang bawa mereka terasa ruhiyah aku yang naik pula. Tengok muda dan jernih jiwa mereka, amat rugi kalau disia-siakan untuk umat.

Mana Jemaahnya?
Kadang-kadang ada juga anak buah yang tertanya-tanya, bila lah aku nak perkenalkan jemaah pada mereka. Oh tidak. Tidak lagi. Aku dengan naqib aku dulu 3 tahun menunggu. Dah habis SPM baru dia introduce. Aku pun macam itu. Kenalkan pada Allah, pada Islam, pada ukhuwah, pada wajibnya beramal untuk Islam dari segi prinsip, hukum, dan darurat. Kenalkan pada nabi, senang cerita biar kenal semua. Kemudian baru pilih jalan mana yang mereka nak serahkan komitmen seumur hidup mereka. Lepas itu, aku ambil prinsip - tak perlu nak cerita keburukan jemaah lain untuk ajak mereka masuk jemaah sendiri. Itu tindakan pengecut. Kata pejuang. Kena lah gentlemen.

Jadi, akhir liqa' kami minggu lepas. Di Ulu Yam. Sedihnya. Aku pesan elok-elok, macam naqib aku pesan pada aku, "Anak buah bukan milik naqib. Jangan sekali-kali ingat sebab kita dakwah dia, dia milik kita". Milik siapa jadinya? Milik Allah, hadiah untuk umat yang sedang bangun.

Untuk naik atas, kena ikut tangga dia. Aku selalu cakap dengan anak buah aku. Kita buat kerja kita. Jangan sibuk hal orang lain. Maratib amal itu kena tertib kita follow. Kadang-kadang mereka pun pening. Kenapa kita tak join je yang dah ada? Atau mana-mana? Kita tak bersatu lah kalau macam ni. Ye ke? Aku tanya balik. Aku tunjuk tangan aku - dalam tangan ada apa? Ada sel otot, ada kulit, ada connective tissue, ada urat saraf, ada bulu, semua ada. Untuk apa? Supaya tangan ini dapat berfungsi dengan baik. Untuk bersatu, tak perlu menjadi satu. Bila ada khilafah naik nanti, kita akan patuh pada yang telah naik. Sementara itu, kita teruskan dengan membina. :)


Memori best!
Yang paling aku ingat, masa bulan Ramadhan. Nak iftar, kami semua pergi pasar malam. Ada seorang anak buah aku, naik motor dengan aku, entah macam mana mungkin sebab berat, tayar motor pecah. Haha. Habis aku balik rumah kena perli dengan Mama tersayang turunkan berat badan.

Lepas itu, dengan mereka ini, janganlah buka topik kahwin ke cinta ke. Habis dua jam masa silibus dihabiskan meluahkan perasaan, melayan rindu dendam, tak sabar nak dewasa mende alah. Jadi lah tempat luahan. Macam-macam ditanya pasal mende alah perasaan ini. Penat jugak den nak mendengar satu-satu. Kelahkah pun ade.

Rehlah - syok sekali. Kitorang sangat suka mandi sungai dan makan ayam dan daging bakar! Dan mereka suka suruh aku terjun tempat tinggi dulu. Suka suruh aku masuk sungai dulu. Bila aku suruh mandi dulu masa kami bakar ayam, dok kate sungai kene dirasmikan dulu. Lepas itu bila aku keluar nak buat pengisian sikit sebelum balik, semua nak ajak buat dalam sungai. Dalam sungai pula duduk sibuk main masukkan pasir dalam baju orang, simbah-simbah air kat orang, sampai main tarik seluar pun ada. Nasib baik aku duduk jauh-jauh awal-awal lagi. Mereka kalau dah 'masuk air' lain jadi nya. Haha. Bila nak balik, semua liat nak keluar dari air. Macam badak pun ada. Rindu betul.

Ada yang tak datang masa ini. Semuanya ada 9 orang.

Sebab mereka budak SPM, aku sangat stresskan untuk mereka fokuskan pada belajar. Letak seiring. Seimbangkan. Antara fungsi bulatan comel ini pun, mentawazzunkan fikrah. Balance balik, takut lepas balik rumah terlepas tarbiyah zatiyah seminggu, timbul rasa nak bias itu ini, fanatik itu ini, betul salah itu ini, bosan best itu ini - jadi balance balik. Biar mereka tengok dunia dengan kaca mata yang rabbani.

Sinergi!

Lima batch berkerjasama untuk menjayakan Kem Qiyadah tahun ini. 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17. Batch mane? Tengok kat jari kami.

Harapan aku, lepas mereka keluar. Mereka lah yang aku membangunkan umat di luar sana, pada masa yang sama tak melupakan Al-Amin tempat menyemai benih-benih subur untuk umat.


Terjun jangan tak terjun! 
Sekian. Penceritaan aku tentang bulatan gumbira aku bersama-sama anak-anak buah aku. Memang tak boleh cerita banyak-banyak. Mende ni kami rahsiakan selalu..sebab spesel :)

Amir Luqman - nak jadi akauntan.

Aku lah tu...

Nabeel di New Zealand

Khairul Iman bakal ustaz

Faruuq nak pergi belajar pondok Pasir Tumboh

Falah Azmi doktor muda.

Wassalam.

p/s - Siapa nak usrah>? Minat untuk membina diri, meningkatkan ruhi, mengenal Islam, bertemu dengan kawan-kawan yang OSEM dan sanggup mati untuk agama, tak perlu takut untuk buat salah sebab sini semua tegur je -tak simpan dalam tak main belakang. Dan paling best, kat sini semua manusia! Tak ada yang sempurna, tapi mengejar sempurna! :DD

p/s - Kalau nak, sila mesej! Haritu dah jumpa seorang lepasan SPM sekolah agama, nak mencari usrah. Jadi, kalau engkau orang pun nak join, sila lah. Komen boleh di sini, di FB pun boleh, mesej pun boleh.

Pemenang tempat kedua video OSEM Angel Pakai Gucci '11. Jom bangun sama-sama lawan raksaksa!

Ouch.. It hurts.

Assalam.

Semalam, kami satu keluarga beriadah petang-petang main basketball. Memang selalu main. Selalunya game memang laju dan memenatkan, sebab semua main kecuali Ayaz dan Saif paling kecil - mereka buat hal sendiri.

Tapi sebab mereka pun dah membesar, hari ini pula nak join sekali. Jadi, dari game basketball bertukar ke game passing-passing bola dengan budak kecil dua orang itu. Kami semua melayan sekali. Naim, adik aku yang sekarang tengah belajar kat DQ rasa boring ambil nunchaku dia main sementara menunggu Ayaz dan Saif habis main.

Nunchaku dia macam ini lah.

Tengah-tengah duduk pusing-pusing libas-libas nunchaku dia, Bammmm...! Kena gigi dia. Tengok gigi dia bukan patah wholly, tapi gigi depan dia patah dua. Gigi arnab tu masih ada, cuma, pecah - kira gigi dia tinggal separuh. Haha. Agak comel. Kena appointment dengan doktor nak sambung balik gigi.

Dia nilah idola Naim dalam main nunchaku.

Ini pengaruh dalam Tae-Kwon-Do dulu. Tak hilang-hilang lagi.. Balisong. Ingat lagi masa dengan senior-senior dulu, pisau itu memang selalu kena basuh, sebab tak reti main, berdarah. So, kalau sape-sape risau, have this in your pocket - it will be quite handy. I have one. :)

One Litre of Tears

Dua minggu lepas Naim balik dari DQ. Tengah-tengah dia guna komputer, dia promote suruh tengok cerita One Litre of Tears. Dia kata sedih, dia menangis tengok. Sebelum ini pernah juga baca blog Syazana Zahidah few years back, cerita pasal siri ini juga. Suruh dia copy, nak tengok jauh mana sedih cerita itu. Kalau tak sedih boleh buat bahan kata hati dia terlebih lembut sikit-sikit nangis bila tengok cerita, tapi kalau cerita itu buat aku menangis juga, aku diam je lah. Takkan nak bahan adik sebab menangis tengok cerita tu sedangkan diri sendiri pun tengok tumpah juga air mata kejantanan.

Neurologist yang baik bersama si pesakit.

Cerita ini mengenai kisah hidup seorang pesakit Spinocerebellar Atrophy. Sakit bahagian neurologi, yang mana penyakit itu membuatkan si pesakit hilang keupayaan secara perlahan-perlahan dalam tempoh yang lama. Mula-mula dia selalu jatuh, gagap, tak boleh lari, tak boleh jalan dengan betul, susah nak makan dan sampai dia kena baring atas katil.

Jadi, sejak dua minggu lepas, bila ada masa terluang sahaja tengok sikit demi sikit. Ada sejam setengah jam kosong usha sikit. Tak skip, tengok betul-betul sebab nak tahu macam mana Naim boleh menangis. Tapi sikit-sikit lah. Mula-mula dah yakin dah cerita ini emo biasa je, tak sedih pun. Tapi last-last cis, sedih yang teramat sangat sampai mengalir air mata di pipi. Rasa bersyukur ada macam-macam nikmat Allah bagi. Kagum juga dengan heroin dia, Aya. Dan kagum dengan 'consistency' si Akou. Cerita-cerita macam ini boleh hidupkan hati yang mati. Jadi, aku mengalah. Cerita ini sedih. T.T Sangat menyayat jiwa.

Bukan dia seorang menangis 1 liter, aku masa ESQ dengan Asyraf Roslan pun menangis nak dekat dua liter tak bising pun. "Rasulullah s.a.w telah bersabda yang maksudnya: "Bacalah al-Quran dan menangislah, dan jika tidak boleh menangis buat-buatlah menangis" - Hadis riwayat At-Tabrani."  Buat-buat menangis, it helps. Menangis akan menghidupkan hati. Serius. Faillam tabku, fatabaakau = Tak boleh menangis, buat-buat menangis.

* Cerita OLOT based on a true story.

* Sebelum ini tak minat sangat. Lagi-lagi cerita penuh emosi lagu ni. Tapi, cerita ini penuh emosi dan pengajaran. Jadi, siapa yang belum tengok sila tengok. Dah tengok, tak apa. Tapi jangan cakap apa-apa, memang aku lambat bab meng'update' cerita-cerita emosi macam ni. Tak minat. Kalau ada One Litre of Tears siri kedua aku takkan tengok(ade ke? haha)

* Sedang mendraf post HIMPUN dan DIALOG HARMONI. :)

Siapa yang malas nak baca sinopsis, sila tengok trailer ini.

Mencari makna di sebalik Ramadhan

Merenung jauh ke luar. Bayu Ramadhan sememangnya manis. Orang di sekeliling seorang demi seorang sudah pergi. Kita di sini menunggu masa untuk dipanggil menghadap Allah. Kaget juga terkadang memikirkan apa yang sudah kita sediakan untuk berdepan Ilah di hari sana. Bila difikir balik, terasa ada kosong. Entah-entah semuanya kosong. Semuanya akan dituntut di akhirat, lagi kita gelabah tersalah tingkah. Periksa balik, ingat-ingat balik, fikir-fikir balik. Rasa makin tenggelam. Hidup kita selalunya kita letakkan Allah sebagai 'cukup syarat' untuk meneruskan hidup, sedangkan Allah itulah kehidupan. Sesak dada bila ingat diri kufur nikmat.

Allah.

Dulu, masa tingkatan lima, khatam sebulan 30 juzu' sudah menjadi perkara biasa. Dari Januari hingga sebelum SPM. Mutaba'ah ketat dari naqib pada masa itu membentuk tabiat. Sehari sejuzu' cukup. Sampai Ramadhan, khatam lima kali pun menjadi mudah. Masa itu semangat 'fastabiqul khairat' dalam kalangan kawan-kawan agak kuat. 20 rakaat dengan imam UIA pun setel. Entah macam mana kaki masa itu kuat sangat sampai boleh tahan. Qiam semua 'complete'. Ramadhan masa itu memang indah. Alhamdulillah, hati rasa sangat bersih. Mungkin masa itu masih muda, jiwa remaja termotivasi oleh kuantiti ibadah. Sebab masa itu hati tak kotor sangat, kualiti sudah automatik beres Alhamdulillah, hanya fokus pada kuantiti.

Tapi, bila umur dah meningkat, fokus beralih arah. Kegagalan untuk mengekalkan momentum masa remaja dulu membuatkan diri ini kurang melihat pada kuantiti. Jiwa semakin bertambah hormat pada pakcik-pakcik yang mampu untuk solat tarawih dan berpuasa dan bekerja. Juga bertambah hormat pada ibu-ibu yang sanggup bangun pagi hari untuk menyediakan sahur. Untuk keluarga semata-mata, masya Allah. Alhamdulillah, tahun ini sempat menolong ibu sedikit sebanyak. Menyempatkan si ibu untuk bertahajjud.

Anekdot sahur dengan family

1. Biasanya adik-adik bangun lewat. Saya dan parents dah ready baru mereka bangun. Kadang-kadang bila nak azan, "Takpe..kita kan orang Islam. Ikutlah Mekah. Jadi kita tunggu Subuh Mekah baru habis sahur. Subuh sini subuh Melayu.. =.="

2. Nak azan dah ni, "Takpe.. azan baru nak mula. Dah nak habis azan barulah berhenti.."

Pagi-pagi lepas ke surau, masa tulah adik dua orang lelaki tu ambil kesempatan nak main-main motor Jaguh dan SS. Tak main dah motor biasa, nak main motor clutch. Poyo sungguh..

Anekdot tilawah

1. Selalu menegur si adik-adik mengenai bacaan al Quran. Terutamanya masa Ramadhan, MAGLEV(Magnetic Levitated Train) semuanya. Baca nak macam masjid India dah, laju tinggal semua panjang pendek mad mad makhraj semuanya tinggal berciciran. Mereka ingat hukum tajwid pun kena ikat macam syaitan kena ikat kah? Apekah... Tapi itulah.. entah-entah si abang ni ego, sebab adik adik laju tilawahnya. Yang abang-abangnya poyo steady alasan. Yang si adik-adik, ada yang dah juzu' yang beyond imagination dah macam mana mereka sampai situ. Yang tensi nya, kadang-kadang masa tengok TV, iklan depa sambung baca Quran, cerita start pause balik. =.= Budak-budak.

2. Selain laju, selalu adik-adik baca 'slow' je suara. Sebab kalau salah baca kena tegur kuat-kuat dengan abang-abang. Lepas tu buat bunyi 'tsk' tu. Semacam kami mengganggu momentum bacaan mereka. Adehh..

Itulah sedikit sebanyak celoteh tahun ni. Tahun ni pun saya tukar diet. Sahur tak mau makan nasi. Iftar pun ala kadar. Bak kata kawan, Nidzam - Makan banyak mengantuk masa tarawih. Tak naklah macam tu. Makan banyak dah tinggal berapa sunnah nabi dah, tambah mengantuk masa tarawih lagi sayang. Tambah pula ada syarat kena hilang 10kg. Harapan masih ada.. hehe

Makna dalam seharian Ramadhan
Tahun ini insya Allah, nak lebih usaha untuk melihat makna di sebalik Ramadhan. Betul-betul cuba untuk andai kata ini Ramadhan terakhir.

 " Dan Kami turunkan dari al-Quran itu sesuatu yang menjadi ubat (penawar hati) bagi orang-orang yang beriman". (Q.S Al-Isra' ayat 82)

Tilawah - dalam tilawah, tak mengejar berapa banyak kali khatam dah. Walaupun sekali khatam kelihatan terlalu sangat sedikit, saya cuba belajar untuk lihat manfaat dan hikmah di sebalik sunnah dan ibadah. Cuba lihat tafsir, baca terjemahan, betulkan makhraj. Bayangkan macam mana nabi Muhammad baca depan Jibril, macam itulah cuba untuk sampai. Ulang-ulang ayat yang dirasakan kena pada batang hidung -Ya ayyuhallazina amanu, ya ayyuhannas, kuntum, ayat-ayat sumpah dan sebagainya. Biar rasa dada penuh dengan redha dan iman.

I'adah - Alhamdulillah. Ada buku CMI Biro Akademik. Banyak kenangan seronok dalam biro tu. I'adah ini untuk pengetahuan pembaca membawa maksud mengulang hafazan. Dalam kes saya, 30 juz lah mengulangnya. Minimum kata seorang cikgu 3 juz sehari. Terbatuk dibuatnya. Tapi itulah, cuba merasai nikmat hafalan. Bila hafal, refleksi pada diri dan kehidupan. Kadang-kadang ayat simple boleh memberi kesan yang amat signifikan - Innallaha 'alimun bizatissudur. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui apa yang ada di dalam hati. Moga hati dapat berpuasa juga. Cari asbabun nuzul, mantapkan sirah dalam al Quran, pahat ayat-ayat taujih.

Solat - Cari makna dalam solat. Setiap lafaz, setiap rukun. Bila sujud, kepala sama dengan kaki, darjat terendah untuk mencari makna tertinggi. Cuba nak solat macam nabi dan sahabat solat. Khusyu'. Cuba nak menangis masa solat. Baca Fatihah, cuba nak merasai dialog dengan Allah. Betul-betul cuba khusyu'. Moga Allah kurniakan. Kalau imam baca masa tarawih, kita turut kumat-kamit. Menghayati setiap makna dalam bacaan. Terima kasih guru-guru Bahasa Arab dari Tadika Amal hingga Al-Amin Menengah, kalau saya tak tahu Bahasa Arab, ianya satu kerugian yang sangat besar.

Ibu-bapa - banyak tanggungjawab yang terlepas. Salah satunya, nak cuba pandang ibu bapa dengan pandangan kasih sayang dan rahmah. Memang kita sayang ibu bapa, cuma, saya jarang nak pandang betul-betul, nak zahirkan sayang itu. Masa nak berpisah memang salam memang cium pipi, tapi nak betul-betul pandang muka mereka lama-lama, entah tak terbuat. Tapi.. azam ye kawan-kawan. Kita azam khuruj, keluar dari jahiliyah ni selama-lamanya. Angkat tangan siapa nak.. (Rindu pulak nak pi khuruj dengan kawan-kawan tabligh..). Dah azam, kita buat. Jom. Azam.. start Ramadhan ni. :D Selalu tengok mak check adik-adik dah tidur. Usap-usap.. check nyamuk ada ke tak. Lap kalau tidur peluh-peluh. Selimutkan kalau terlucut. Entah-entah kat aku pun buat macam tuh.. siapa tahu. Aduh. Bahagia sungguh :) Apa kata kita pulak buat kat parents macam itu. Kalau mereka tertidur atas sejadah dengan telekung, kita tolong sorongkan bantal. Tertidur lepas solat asar penat mengajar di sekolah, kita tolong uruskan iftar. Masak nasi kan dah pandai! Haha.. lauk bantai la apa-apa. Kalau komplen tak sedap cakap lah kita makan ala kadar ikut sunnah.. Haha. Gurau. Itulah.. haq ibu bapa, banyak yang terlepas. Jangan lah kita khianati amanah Allah dengan kita ganti dengan haq kawan-kawan, haq awek dan boyfren, takpun haq cinta hati kita. Yang dah terlajak, kita sama-sama taubat. Ramadhan ini the best beginning untuk kita mulakan yang baru. Allah.

Adik-adik - yang dah besaq biaq pi depa la. haha. Yang kecik-kecik, berjanji untuk meluangkan masa lebih lagi. Main Angry Birds sama-sama, tengok documentary sama-sama(Sori..BabyTV memang gua tak layan. Derang suka tengok..gua tido terusssss.haha).

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Itulah sedikit sebanyak yang ingin difokuskan.

Harapnya umur ini sempat sampai di akhir Ramadhan. Hati biar kasi putih.. biar hilang titik-titik dosa tu. Dan moga amal ini berterusan ke bulan-bulan seterusnya.

I'm sorry for my breakdown before. To my family, to my friends, and to you.

MINNI-ATGSN -LUAPG-ASTIT-MAIRQ  

Insya Allah.. :D Allahumma barik lana fi Ramadhan. Allahumma Amiin.