Friday, September 16, 2011

Au Revoir[2]

I tend to have maybe slow and not many, close and personal relationship with people. I might not be very friendly- which is mainly due to my inferiority complex. Not because I don't want to. But, when I'm hooked to someone, I will hold him/her very dearly. And my kind of relationship is somewhat a kind of slow pace relation. As far as I'm concerned. Even if I know that person only for a while.

This time, two of them were on their way to U.K. One to Oxford. And one to Manchester.

Rahman Rozali
He went to Oxford to further his in laws.

He was my senior. In school. Also my senior in taekwondo. He was one from few others who had his kicks executed beautifully and perfectly in our DoJang once. His kicks were amazingly perfect. He was also my senior in another art - where they practiced martial art using aura. He was also my mentor in survival skills. And kami satu bulatan gembira :D

His Quran was superb. His makhraj and tajwid - when you listen to him reading Quran, you will automatically say "Masya Allah". Beautiful voice, perfect makhraj, tajwid, tarannum, lahjah. Everything.

Still, as I am the pengarah for the upcoming Explorace for my school, he even said to me to Skype him whenever I want to ask his advice regarding this matter.

Although he went there for not more than 2 years, but I think we will miss him when we go camping. Surely.
With our naqib.
Asyraf Roslan a.k.a Capo
He went to Manchester to study Physics. He wishes to work at CERN. Amin.

We call each other by that name. I have one more close friend in this trio, named Omar. We call him Maro. They call me Sipo. So, he is my best friend. We've been through so much together. Of course, we had a fight once. And then we cool until now.

We knew each other when we were in Form 3, tahfiz together. He lend me his book, Warcraft Archives. And from that day, I started to add English novels and books in my list. We have been gaming together since we were form 4 if I am not mistaken. The first game was Star Wars Battlefront. Then LOTR The Battle of Middle-Earth. Then DOTA until now. Sometimes we shifted to first-person-shooter games like COD, but he became dizzy so fast. Haha. We play hitherto.
The whole line is our friends. Mini-gathering. :) Usually we play in 10 persons.
One of the most wonderful memories we have was when we went to A Famosa to watch SMM Dota Final. And during our journey, our cars (in which both of the cars were his, I drove one) were spotted by speed trap. Few months later, surat saman sampai. Haaaaaaa...
Di The Curve, this year's final SMM Dota took place. Asyraf - wears the white shirt in the centre.
He was the one who also made me interested in physics. His questions and his conversations really hooked me up. He has helped me a lot. Physically, emotionally, and financially. Thanks for everything.

Siiru 'ala barakatillah. Love you so much [sumpah geli nak cakap ni..tapi ni hakikat.]

:)

Salam.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

'Uzlah Syu'uriyah

Dalam hidup-hidup seharian kita, diri jasadi dan ruhi kita melalui konflik-konflik tertentu. Ada yang menyakitkan, ada juga yang kurang menyakitkan. Ada yang mematangkan, ada juga yang menjatuhkan. Aku juga menulis post ini, dengan harapan diri sendiri dan rakan-rakan akan mendapat sedikit sebanyak pencerahan mengenai konflik yang dihadapi. Moga kawan-kawan yang belum tergerak hati untuk membuka maza ya'ni, Indahnya Hidup Bersyariat, La Tahzan, Hayatus Sahabah mahupun buku-buku ever green lain, dapat sedikit sebanyak mengambil inisiatif untuk memahami sedikit sebanyak mutiara-mutiara yang sekalian 'ulama kita sudah kumpulkan. Aku juga sedang melalui perkara yang sama.

Kurang alat
"Bi'ah solehah boleh membunuh.." pernah seorang rakanku ungkapkan. Aku sedikit sebanyak setuju dengan apa yang dia katakan, kerana aku memahami konteks yang dia maksudkan. Bagaimana apabila ramai pelajar-pelajar sekolah agama sama ada tewas dek arus jahiliyyah atau terus menjauhkan diri dari arus tersebut. Aku melihat fenomena ini sebagai satu kegagalan, kerana kebanyakan dari kita, pelajar-pelajar sekolah agama atau aliran agama tidak dilatih dengan satu mekanisme untuk menangani situasi-situasi janggal. Situasi di mana ada dalam kalangan kawan-kawan yang dengan terang menerang menolak elemen agama. Atau bagaimana untuk 'adapt' dalam suasana masyarakat yang skeptiks terhadap agama Islam.

Kita kurang berkemahiran untuk berinteraksi dengan masyarakat dalam kes-kes di mana unsur-unsur pragmatik dan toleransi amat diperlukan. Kebanyakannya diam, layu, atau lari setelah melihat kawan-kawan yang 'keras' pendekatannya ditolak, dikutuk, dihina, dan dipulau mentah-mentah. Malah yang lebih mengecewakan, ada yang memutuskan untuk beralah dengan prinsip jahiliyyah, buang jauh-jauh prinsip nubuwah. Jauh ke dalam lubuk hati pengecut. Alhamdulillah, ada juga yang berjaya bersama-sama dengan masyarakat, bukan untuk menggadaikan prinsip, tetapi untuk memperjuangkan prinsip atas dasar kasih sayang dan dakwah untuk masyarakat. Atas dasar sebagaimana yang disebut oleh Hasan Al Banna, dalam salah satu perspektif beliau 'Dakwatuna' :
"Kami ingin agar umat ini mengetahui bahawa kalian lebih kami cintai dari diri kami sendiri. Kami bangga ketika jiwa-jiwa kami gugur sebagai penebus kehormatan kalian, kami berbuat di jalan Allah untuk kalian lebih banyak dari yang kami lakukan untuk diri sendiri. Kami adalah milik kalian wahai saudara-saudara tercinta, sesaat pun tidak pernah menjadi musuh kalian, tiada sesuatu yang membuat kami bersikap sedemikian melainkan cinta dan  kasih yang telah menguasai perasaan kami, memeras air mata kami dan mencabut rasa ingin tidur dari pelupuk mata kami." [Majmu'atur Rasail, Dakwatuna, 'Atifah]
Di mana mereka bergaul dengan masyarakat, berpaksikan 'atifah iaitu ketinggian kasih sayang. Sayangnya mereka, menyebabkan mereka tidak ingin meninggalkan masyarakat terus bergelumang dengan jahiliyyah. Walaupun mereka orang biasa-biasa, mereka mempunyai keazaman untuk betul-betul mengubah masyarakat. Mereka berada bersama-sama masyarakat walau hanya dengan senyuman yang manis dan akhlaq yang baik. Mereka berharap dapat membawa masyarakat untuk menikmati kemanisan iman yang mereka rasai.

Pengasingan Jiwa
Dalam hal ini, aku mahu bawakan kefahaman yang aku sendiri masih cuba untuk faham dan amalkan. Satu idea, yang mana sangat berguna untuk kehidupan seharian. Idea ini diperkenalkan oleh Syed Qutb dalam karya beliau, Ma'alim fi at Toriq(Petunjuk Sepanjang Jalan). Idea ini diperjelaskan lagi oleh Fathi Yakan dalam buku beliau "Apa ertinya Saya menganut Islam" dalam tajuk Ciri-ciri Khusus Harakah Islamiyah :
"Sesungguhnya menjadi satu kemestian supaya wujud satu barisan hadapan yang berazam untuk mencapai cita-cita ini, terus mara di jalan ini, mara terus dalam menghancurkan jahiliyyah yang bermaharajalela di serata pelusuk bumi, mara terus dalam mengasingkan jiwa dari satu sudutu di samping mengadakan hubungan (jasadiyah) dengan jahiliyyah di satu sudut yang lain" Syed Qutb.
Dalam kata-kata ini, diperkenalkan kembali idea uzlah syu'uriyyah. Pengasingan jiwa, pengasingan perasaan. Syu'ur membawa maksud rasa hati. 'Uzlah atau pengasingan setiap masa atau secara total. Manakala 'uzlah dari segi syara' ialah seperti yang nabi Muhammad pernah buat. Mengasingkan diri secara fizikal dan hati. Uzlah jasadi. Namun begitu, uzlah ini tidak dianjurkan untuk para da'i. Boleh sekali sekala - ingin melepaskan diri atau melepaskan kepenatan yang mengikat. Sunnah mengajarkan 'uzlah yang terbaik. 'Uzlah di malam hari, khalwah hanya dengan Allah yang Mengetahui.

Idea ini sangat berguna. Di mana aku merasakan ia dapat memanfaatkan potensi-potensi penuh da'i yang berada di tengah-tengah masyarakat. Sekaligus meletakkan prinsip yang sangat kuat dan jelas dalam bermuamalah. Semacam idea Tariq Ramadan - idea yang menganjurkan Muslim seperti aku dan kau yang berusaha untuk mengamalkan Islam dengan sepenuhnya supaya 'integrate' ke dalam masyarakat dan tidak menganggap diri sendiri sebagai minoriti. Kerana dengan menjauhkan diri, berkomentar dari jauh, kritik tanpa betul-betul turun untuk memahami masyarakat tidak begitu tepat. Masalah-masalah yang terlihat itu 'apparent', bukan punca. Aku berpendapat untuk kita betul-betul mengenali, mengetuk pintu hati masyarakat, kita harus turun dan bersama-sama mereka. Bukan bermakna kita menyetujui mereka, tapi kita bersama mereka untuk membantu mereka. Atas dasar sayangnya kita pada mereka, kita tak sanggup untuk membiarkan mereka menjadi begitu. Mereka yang aku maksudkan bukan calang-calang. Mereka yang aku maksudkan ialah mereka yang bersama-sama dengan aku dalam kelas, tidur sama, solat jemaah sama-sama, kena denda dengan faci masa kem-kem sama-sama, kena tahajjud Ustaz Osman dan Abang Sarep baca sangat panjang sama-sama, puasa sama-sama, iftar sama-sama, PUI sama-sama, buat SPM sama-sama, semua sama-sama dan banyak kenangan aku dan mereka.

Sebagaimana ungkapan yang sering disebut-sebut dalam kalangan Ikhwan, "Kita bergaul, tapi berbeza".

Dan aku merasakan sangat sesuai untuk aku bersama mereka, setelah banyak kali aku jatuh, mereka lah yang menghulurkan tangan, mengangkat aku kembali. Adakah berbudi jika aku ungkapkan aku akan tinggalkan mereka setelah aku mengenali apa itu Iman, Islam, Nabi, Rasul, Dakwah dan sebagainya? Oh Tidak. Dakwah yang aku inginkan ialah dakwah didasari oleh 'atifah dan bara'ah(kesucian). Suci daripada niat lain. Hanya untuk mereka dan aku di 'sana'.

Now I know why I failed once
Aku gagal untuk mengasingkan syu'ur aku, rasa hati dan jiwaku.
"Seorang mukmin yang bergaul dengan orang ramai serta bersabar dengan kesakitan akibat pergaulan dengan mereka itu, adalah lebih baik dari seorang mukmin yang tidak bergaul dengan orang ramai serta tidak bersabar atas kesakitan akibat pergaulan itu” Riwayat Trmzi dan Ibn Majah  

:)

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

a place to rest

My friend introduced me a really nice place. 'the quiet place'. My close friend. Rest and break. Thanks to him.

I know then why I like so much to go camping. Why I like to go to places like that. I know why I love to be with nature so much. And I know why I like being alone.

A strong circle in the storm
Beautiful. Masya Allah.
I remember when I became AJK for Kem Asas(a very lasak camping for form 1 student). We arrived late at the campsite. The most important thing when you arrive at any campsite or anywhere, is to erect your tent. For protection and safety. That is the first and foremost task you must complete. To build where is another different thing. So, when we arrived, we helped the peserta to erect their tents. And ours to. Ours are simple. You put two pole, tie a rope or a long stick across, then you cover it with canvas. It started to rain then. So, we only managed to erect only one for us because almost all of us were too occupied to help participants build theirs. We did not expect much from them to do it ASAP because they were all new to it. Form 1 students, itulah rebungnya. Rain poured very heavily, unabated. At that time, we could not even start a fire to cook. And so did the participants. We took our roti and distributed it to participants. I was still form 3 at that time. So watching my seniors 'redah hujan' from tent to tent during a very heavy downpour to give foods and to make sure all participants were not hungry made my respect grew. And we did not eat that time. We made it sure participants had eaten. All of them. Because of only one tent we managed to erect for us, we made an express canopy by tying a piece of canvas to trees around us. And we managed to build a small unstable unggun api. The rain was so heavy, and each of us was shivering. While ustaz and other seniors were trying as hard as they could to keep the fire live, we decided to hug each other. Everyone in the circle hug each other. A huge lump of cold, shivering bodies near the fire under a very heavy rain. I will never forget that moment. I hug Amirul Arif, I hug 'Ammar Sahrim, I hug Chiman, and we hug each other very closely to keep each other warm. It was so nostalgic. In the midst of the heavy rain, I felt connected to them. What a memory. I miss them. One of them was arwah Abdul Hadi[a post dedicated to him], pengarah for the Kem Asas. He was the first person I had seen to cut a whole big bamboo in just three clean slash. 'Buluh tak pecah'. Rindu sungguhhh.. Ya Allah.

An apprentice not to be

I used to carry this every where I went. :)

I was absorbed into this circle of activity when I was in form 3 at first because I was to be trained by Abang Sarep. He was a certified participant of  'Kursus Perubatan Tentera' and wanted me to help him during Al Amin campings as AJK Keselamatan. 'Keselamatan' not only in physical sense. It included the unseen one. He trained me. Taught me steps in treating injuries, taught me not to be panic, taught me kinds of wounds and cuts, taught me how to pull duri dari daging peserta, taught me this and that. During camping, it is normal for people to be cut by their own parangs. Some deep and some shallow. Sadly, a lot I missed to learn from him. I managed to learn only few skills. So much to know and to learn. I don't know which plants to treat what. The only plants I know are daun kapal terbang in which you chew them, and you spit it on your wounds; and senduduk for 'perangsang'. The point is I could not become his apprentice as he wishes. Or once wished. So much we had gone through together. He took my hand when I was in form 3 and led the way until I finished my SPM. He IS my naqib, mentor and teacher. He was the one who summoned alumni of Al-Amin to come and work at Al-Amin. Some of us are already planning to teach there for a year or two. "Membina manusia ni makan masa bertahun-tahun, bukan sekejap". That's what he said. I will bear that in mind.

I remember during our expedition Merentasi Banjaran Titiwangsa, Muhammad also had his mentors. Along the expedition, Muhammad and Pak Long; a JPA sergeant will stop a while at places to talk about certain plants. Suits him, Muhammad is now in UiTM Medic. He was my boss when it came to uniform unit affairs.

One of the best mediums
Our usual tent. Just replace the pole in the pic with bamboo. :D
During a meeting, a senior said "Perkhemahan medium paling sesuai untuk terapkan muwasofat tarbiyah. Dalam camping ada qadirun 'ala kasbi(berdikari), ada munazzamun fi syu'unih(tersusun urusannya), ada harisun 'ala waqtih(menepati masa), macam-macam lagi. Masa ini kita boleh terapkan ukhuwah, 'aqidah, yang mana-mana kualiti-kualiti yang dapat diterapkan masa perkhemahan ini kita tak boleh nak terapkan di wasilah tarbiyah yang lain. Sebab itu walau macam mana aktif kita pun, dalam setahun paling kurang ada sekali mukhayyam dalam wasilah tarbiyah kita." Well-said.

We can see our true self when we are in hardship and desperation. Camping shaped most of myself. Although for a bit of times now, it has not yet shaped my physical body as the way I want it. But, for my inner self, yes. I thank Allah for that.

What is of the essence?


Why I like going into nature? I don't know. It feels different when you take your wudhu' from a river. It feels superb when you prostrate with your head touching the cold sand. When you sit and pray on the grass. You are not worried when insects creep on your hands or face when you are praying, because you know they know you are worshiping Allah. When your sleep is accompanied by sounds of the jungle. When you open your eyes, you look up, and you see stars very clear. You eat foods that you cook by yourself, even if it raw most of the times, you finish every bit of it. None wasted. You learn to share and to ration. Wherever your eyes go, it stops at the greenery of nature. You feel belonged. And you know, one day you will be back to where you come from. Reminiscent lends me a piece of old memory to describe this;

I want to heal, I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong


Victory
Ramadhan has left us. And now we can see whether we really win or lose. A sense of continuity. It is up to us to istiqamah. Live your life at your own pace. After Ramadhan ended, I regard some of the previously important things as less important now. I really do not care how much I will lose, because I have nothing to lose. Just do everything as best as you could. Itqan. And you have nothing to worry. Simple and clean heart leads to simple life. Make small deeds matter. So you will not miss the big deeds. Appreciate everyone around you, and around your heart. And do not chase something or someone which is not yours. Feel satisfied with what you have, and never forget your dream. Don't ever forget your dream.

Al Fatihah for arwah Noramfaizul. May Allah bless his soul. He becomes my motivation instantly. He died before he could make his wish comes true. He wanted to go to Baitul Maqdis. So do I.

Do you want to go to 'the quiet place'? Click 'Rest my friend :)'

And do you know how to rest taught by our prophet?

Solat. It is a form of istirahah for mu'min.

Rest.. :)