Jika

Persiapan #letsfollowammar

Ibrah yang paling penting yang aku rasa telah aku pelajari dari peristiwa pemergian Ammar ialah bagaimana kuatnya persiapan si ayah dan ibu untuk mewakafkan anaknya untuk ummah.

Konsepnya sentiasa ada di dalam benak fikiran dan hala tuju ku, cuma sebelum ini masih belum jelas sebetul-betulnya.

Mempersiapkan diri untuk ummah. Mempersiapkan ahli keluarga untuk ummah. Ini yang aku belajar dari peristiwa pemergian Ammar.

Insya Allah.

Al-Amin Merlimau di hati

Cuti semester lepas, saya dijemput oleh guru saya dulu, Cikgu Syima untuk membuat kelas intensif di Al-Amin Merlimau untuk persediaan murid-murid menghadapi peperiksaan. Saya menawarkan diri untuk mengajar subjek yang berkaitan pengiraan sahaja. Cikgu mencadangkan Fizik, Kimia dan Matematik Tambahan. Saya terima dengan hati terbuka. Setidaknya menjadi persediaan kerana Fakulti Kejuruteraan Elektrik juga meminta saya dan beberapa rakan lain menjadi mentor untuk junior kami dalam subjek Circuit. Cikgu Syima rapat dengan ibu saya, jadi cikgu Syima maklum saya sentiasa meluangkan masa cuti saya untuk bekerja.

Selesai saya berprogram, saya terus bersiap untuk ke Al-Amin Merlimau bersama dengan adik saya, Muaz yang bersekolah di sana. Kami sampai di dalam pukul 12 malam. Pagi Isnin, cikgu Syima berjumpa dengan saya dan menunjukkan jadualnya yang telah disusun. 'Packed juga ni cikgu. Saya tak apa, tapi kesian kat budak-budak' ujar saya. Saya maklum, kejayaan itu akan dicapai dengan kesungguhan dan perancangan kerja yang kemas. Cuma, saya masih belum yakin ketika itu mereka mempunyai keinginan tersebut.

Kelas saya bermula dari 3.30 petang sehingga Asar. Selepas Isya' sehingga pukul 11 malam. Kelas diasingkan mengikut tahap dan juga lelaki dan perempuan. Lelaki di sini pemalu haha. Untuk setiap sesi solat, ditugaskan muazzin dan imam. Ada Qunut Nazilah setiap hari. Ya, Qunut Nazilah. Peringatan untuk kita yang hidup di tempat aman agar tidak lupa,' Untukmu Al Aqsa dan Umat Islam, jiwa dan darahku untuk kamu semua'. Saat Qunut ialah saat yang sentimental dan emosi untuk diri saya. Dan mereka membacakannya setiap hari. Saya mencintai mereka, kerana mereka mencintai bumi al Aqsa dan perjuangan rakyat Syria. Subuh mereka pun lelaki jarang yang terlepas Subuh berjemaah di sini. Kekuatan lelaki, pada saya, pada komitmennya dia menjaga solatnya di masjid. Andai dijaga solat dan Qurannya, insyaAllah, given enough time, cintanya akan terjaga, fizikalnya, mentalnya, dan spiritualnya.

Hari pertama sangat intense. Soalan penuh hingga kelas meleret. Banin dan banat, sama saja. Mereka meminta pula kelas tambahan. Saya tambah lagi dua slot pada masa lapang saya bagi memenuhi permintaan mereka. Amanah yang cikgu Syima tugaskan ialah supaya saya menampung kefahaman mereka dalam subjek tersebut, jadi saya isi masa saya dengan mereka semaksima mungkin.

Selepas Subuh, saya pergi berlari. Suasana di sana cantik. Tepi pantai. Selesai berlari, saya balik untuk bersiap-siap. Study dan sediakan nota ringkas untuk pengajaran di kelas. Selepas Zohor, saya bersiap dan pergi ke kelas. Sehingga malam saya di sana. Kalau Sabtu dan Ahad, saya di sana dari pagi hingga ke malam. Saya akan keluar semasa Maghrib untuk mencari kuliah-kuliah di masjid berdekatan. Dan cuba untuk pulang sebelum pukul 9 malam. Dan lebih kurang dua minggu rutin saya seperti itu. Saya menjadi rapat dengan mereka.

Hari terakhir hari paling tacing haha. Warden mereka memanggil saya untuk memberi ucapan perpisahan. Harapan dan nasihat. Malam itu saya berucap dan memberi nasihat yang saya kira dapat membantu mereka. Saya perlu pulang malam itu kerana saya menjadi pengarah untuk Kursus Pengawas di Al-Amin Gombak pagi Sabtu. Namun, sebelum pulang saya selesaikan tugas terakhir. Ada tiga orang pelajar yang mendapat markah 2%, 14% dan 22% untuk Matematik Tambahan mereka meminta saya memberi intensif untuk basic add Math, Functions. Saya meluangkan masa bersama mereka sehingga pukul 12.30 malam. Malam itu, ramai rakan-rakan mereka datang menemani kami dan membawa makanan.

Memang sedih untuk meninggalkan tempat itu. Ketika saya ingin pulang, ramai bangun untuk menghantar saya. Mereka salam dan memeluk saya, beri makanan sebagai bekalan perjalanan (macam lah jauh 3 jam setengah je pun) haha. Saya melihat mereka. Saya bertanyakan cita-cita mereka sewaktu awal perkenalan. Saya minta mereka doakan cita-cita saya tercapai. Saya pulang dengan semangat yang kuat, to make this world a better place.

Allahumma Solli 'ala Muhammad.

Insya Allah, cuti seterusnya ingin kembali menyumbang di sana.

Thanks, Pakcik!

On Sunday, I usually don't do any heavy lifting. It is because my leg day is on Friday, so my legs will sore for the next two days. And to do any running or compound exercise is strictly limited. Therefore the only possible choice left is to go swimming.

FYI, leg day is the day where you work out your leg at the gym or anywhere. Leg day may comprise of heavy squat, Romanian dead lift, lounges, leg press, and leg extension. Usually, if you do right and you push yourself, you will be almost unable to walk the day after. Pain everywhere throughout your leg. It is one of the hardest days, and for that reason many people skip leg day.

Today, I went to swim early. After Subuh I made my breakfast, finished up all my chores, and prepared my swimming accessories. Sharp on 9, I went to the pool. Usually, on Sunday, I will swim in the morning and evening. Two sessions. Because swimming is a form of recovery exercise, I need to hit all my muscles before I am ready to work them out the next week.

However, today is my unusual day. After I did my warmup, I went straight into the pool. There was a pakcik beside me. He was overweight, perhaps obese. I guess he just made up his mind to live healthily because I could see the determination on his face. I was just like him 6 months ago. Exactly. He was just beside me. I did not talk or anything, I just smiled to him and started my swim. My routine is I will swim at least one kilometer easy swim before I decided to do sprint swim or practice my backstroke and butterfly.

When I started my breast stroke, I noticed he was beside me doing freestyle. In my mind, I thought "Takpelah, nanti pakcik ni letih lepas dua tiga lap berhenti lah tu..". His swimming actually interrupted my swim a little bit. He was zigzagging between my lane and his lane. I was not sure why, in my mind perhaps because his eyes were not very good although he was wearing a pair of goggles. Or because he could not really balance. So, I just let him be.

To my surprise, after 500(5 laps) meters, he did not stop. He did not pause. I was alternating my breast stroke and freestyle, therefore he would always catch me up because breast stroke is slower than freestyle. We kept catching up to each other. We both did not stop along the way. Up until one kilometer the pakcik was still swimming gracefully. And he was still zigzagging! I needed to do my sight every few strokes and then.

At last, that pakcik stopped at my 1.5 kilometers mark. I did not know how much that pakcik covered. I finished the non-stop swim to 2 kilometers. After the swim, I went to meet the pakcik.

"Kuat pakcik, tak sangka lama betul pakcik tahan.." I said, and laughed. I was really astonished.

"Anak pun kuat juga, pakcik nak cuba lawan, tapi tak boleh..." he replied.

And after that, my guess was right. He was having his health resolution in action. He wanted to live healthily. And I've got great advice about taking care of my body from the pakcik. 'Badan ini amanah Allah!'.

Thank you pakcik! His smile was a remedy for my sore eyes (you know what people wear at public pool).

And Alhamdulillah, new record. 2 kilometers non-stop! :D Alhamdulillah.

Eased turn over - Analogue Electronics

Last semester, I've taken a hard subject. It was Analogue Electronics and the subject somehow did not seem to have the same pattern as the other electrical and engineering subject I've taken before. Perhaps the view was only from me.

One of my principles in studying is to never put the blame on your teacher if something does not happen the way you want. My senior said that barakah was something worthy to hold and grasp dearly. Barakah comes in respecting teachers and respecting the knowledge. The intention of why you are studying will make you different from others.

Before, whenever my friends ended up in classes taught by problematic lecturers, I have always told them to do their part. I did not deny their complaints. For the sake of efficiency, I told them to be the manipulated variable. Their exam results would be the responded variable and lecturers would be the constant. Therefore, the end results would be depending on how they act upon. However, life was not that easy and simple. Even in mathematics, we know in certain functions, no matter how we tweak the inputs, if the important constants are still there, the output would be in the same range. Whether it is negative or smaller than 1, even infinity. And therefore, I have seen some of my friends failed and repeated subjects. Still, in my opinion, they did not try hard enough.

Interestingly, last semester was the semester in which I went through the exact same thing as my friends went through. The difficulty level added when the required books were not there in the library, and all I have to depend solely on was the lecturer's notes. Being the class rep for the subject (a job that I was very not fond of), I was responsible to inform my classmates if any class was canceled or any other thing. At the early of the semester, the seven hours a week classes were cut by our lecturer to only four hour classes a week. She canceled it without any explained reasons. Even with the four hours balance, the class was often canceled without no replacement class. Initially, my classmates cherished it. Later, due to the difficulty of the subject and the unbelievable velocity the lecturer's cover the syllabus to meet the duty roster, we began to realize that this would go bad.

The situation went worse during midterm tests and quizzes, our lecturer told the exact subtopic and questions that would be asked in the tests. In my point of view, she did that to compensate for the time she'd cut for our. And she even did that during our final exam. In the end, she asked me to tell my classmates if they want nice marks, they ought to write nice feedback about her in our online feedback report. I did not know whether she was kidding or not, but at that time I was already furious.

For those who can catch up easily were simple, but for those who could not, I saw they had a hell of a time to understand the subject. That made me a bit angry and frustrated. Approaching final exam, my carry mark was 22 over 40. I did not take note when she told us 'soalan bocor' as I thought it was inappropriate. Plus, I was egoistic. Test was meant to challenge. There was no point of doing test when you know what you were gonna face. I want my mark to indicate my level of understanding. Not how much I know the soalan bocor.

My carry mark was not a blow for me although it was the lowest so far. It was expected. Still, I could see my friends' frustration and disappointment. My understanding for the subject at that point was fuzzy and unclear. Therefore I could not help my friends. Even I needed help at that time. During the study week period, the urge to blame my lecturer and not doing nothing was insurmountable. I tried my best to stand up to my words and not doing the thing I refrain others to do. I always told myself, if some things gonna change, I need to start the change. Not others. At that point, I've spent some sleepless nights just to understand the subject, still the firm understanding was way too far. I've just got to push harder.

Alhamdulillah. Allah really helped me through. Two of my adik usrahs, I was proud to say their names, Hamizan Arif and Asma'an Affandi were the ones who helped me through. Being taught by different lecturer than mine, they helped me understand the subject essentially from A to Z. They spent three days before the paper to teach me and others. From morning to night. The only break was to pray, eat, nap and sleep. But, they really pushed all of us to understand the subject. I did not know how could I repay them because what they did for us was very helpful. Those three days were among the most intense and packed days in my life.

I was determined to obtain an A for this subject. For my personal record. So far, there was no B in my subject grades. That day, the paper was tough, but it was eased. I can answer the questions although I didn't manage to finish them all due to insufficient time. Still, I was blessed that day. I did what was needed to be done. I was the class rep, I was the one who held the responsibility to report what had happened the whole semester. Instead of blaming and backbiting, it was more efficient and significant to write a proper online report so that future students would not need to go through what we have gone through. She will understand why I wrote the feedback that way, Insya Allah. Still, a lecturer will always have my respect. She had taught me. She earned my respect. The things we had gone through this semester, perhaps she too were going through rough moments that we did not know. We just need to be more empathy and understanding.

Normal circuit

Electronic circuit

And my result came through later. I got B for the subject. Alhamdulillah.

Next time, I need to really observe my lecturer for the first week.

Above are basic images of circuit.

Our Lab Techinicians

I am blessed to study here. Really. Especially with my lecturers and lab technicians.

As an engineering student, I go through a lot of hands-on and practical session. And lab is one of them. This year, we don't stick with one lab technician only, our group will go through many lab technicians for different experiments. So we got to meet a lot of interesting characters.

What I am about to post may be a bit harsh, but there's where the perk lies. Reader discretion is advised.

1. Motor - DC and AC motor experiment was interesting. But the lab technician was even more interesting. He was unique with his own analogy. One time, when we obtained all the result, we quickly turn the motor off, not following the ordered manual. Then he came angrily and said, "Kamu kalau nak pergi tandas, kamu buka seluar dulu baru seluar dalam, atau kamu buka seluar dalam terus tanpa buka seluar. Hah?". Instantly, we laughed, violently. All boys in my group, so the excitement was understandable. And he laughed too. I did not know why he laughed. Perhaps due to his creativity for the analogy. What he meant was we should turn off the motor by its sequence, not aiming straight for the power source.

2. Transformer - I was always motivated by 'going back early'. When the lab technician said, "Okay, siap procedure, present result dan calculation, boleh balik awal. Minggu depan lab report mesti siap". The moment my group heard that, we became so pumped up nothing could stand our way. Still, experiment involving transformer was pretty dangerous. When we were done connecting all the wiring and setting up the components, we called our lab technician to switch on the voltage source. The source must be opened with a key because if the circuit was wrong and the source is switched on, we would die instantly in the explosion. So, we called him to check our connection and switch on the VS. When he came, however, at that instant we saw an open connection/open wire. He immediately said "Ok, volunteer sorang. Cuba pegang open connection ni, kita tengok dia mati ke tak. Mari, volunteer sorang. Nak sangat biar open connection, datang sekarang pegang!" he said fiercely. It was a sincere mistake. We became speechless. And then we dismantled it all and started all over again. Still, we managed to finish first. :D

3. Ammeter and voltmeter - we once used a huge ammeter and voltmeter one time. The screen was big. We connected everything, and we called our lab tech to open the VS. He eventually came, looked at our set up for a while, and said "Kamu, kalau makan makan. Makanan tu akan keluar balik tak bila di tandas nanti?". We answered "Mestilah sir. Takkan nak simpan lama-lama". "Cakap pandai! Cuba kamu tengok connection kamu, ada makanan yang kamu simpan dalam perut tu tak nak teran-teran!" he replied sarcastically. Later we realized that the IN connection of one of the ammeters still had no OUT yet. And again we were saved.

We had many more intense moments with our lab techs. Still, what amazed me was, they never forget to recite du'a before and after the lab session. Never! Not even once! They were not golongan yang berkopiah and look religious. Still, I saw they really valued the prayer and adab. Because of that, even with their dramatic over reaction to things, we 'salam and cium' their hands.

Even one of my female lab tech had 'R4BIA' symbol as her wassap DP. Amazing.

May Allah bless all my lab technicians, lecturers, and teachers. I love them.

Moments of Raya

Ramadhan
This Ramadhan has been a wonderful month for me. A blessed and filled one indeed. Not too busy with works for Ikram Siswa and studies. Every night was a free night for me. Few nights helping Aqsa Syarif Penang to raise funds at mosque and evenings with Hidayah Centre for their Majlis Iftar Perdana. Alhamdulillah, Ikram Seberang Jaya even sponsored ikhwah UiTMPP a thousand ringgit worth 'meja' for that night's charity dinner. Occasionally, we also will have iftar at the nearby surau and help pakciks wash the dishes.

This Ramadhan was also a unique experience. It was in this Ramadhan I got the initiative to buy foods for beggars for them to break fast. It was very meaningful to me personally. If people questions about the money and the syndicate those beggars work for, I guess giving them foods would be helpful. I just couldn't stand the look in their eyes. If people ask me what would Ramadhan mean to me, humanly speaking, is so that I could understand what poor people feels. Not only to endure hunger the whole day, but to reflect what if we ourselves have nothing to eat after Maghrib. We often choose to neglect it because we know we will be having a wonderful and often wasted meal during iftar.

YDP Ikram Penang, Ir Jamaluddin (kiri) dan Timbalan Ketua Menteri P.Pinang 1, Haji Rashid.

Got targeted i'adah (revision) of Al-Quran. This year I reduced the number of khatam, and went for something more meaningful to me - i'adah and tadabbur. The book Khawatir Qur'aniyyah I bought was so helpful. It introduced fresh ideas and perspectives in tadabburing the Quran. Iktikaf also had been a must on nights of Ramadhan. Although among my housemates, I was the least to go on an iktikaf. Still, the last nights of Ramadhan had been exceptionally great. I've got to spend the nights with wonderful figures - my naqib who always had his time free for us even though he was a doctor, Ustaz Syazali who was an outstanding ustaz especially for his Ulum Quran, and even Imam Muda Gaza Tariq came to our house!

Ramadhan in KL was also wonderful. The mosques were even merrier than last year. Alhamdulillah. Again, things wouldn't go really smooth when you are going iktikaf with a lot of siblings. You will have someone oversleeps for over an hour after Subuh at a well-hid corner of the mosque while the others are waiting in the car. You will have someone unintentionally drops important things at the mosque. Even small brothers who want air kotak and botol susu in the middle of the iktikaf. That's the wonder of a family.


Balik Kampung
Balik kampung was one of the most awaited annual events for me. The long journey (up to 8 hours) from KL to Kelantan was a tiring but wonderful drive. We will have quiz revolving the nasyid played on the playlist. For example Epik by Rabbani. So I will ask Ayaz and Saif what was the song about. Often, funny answers will come out from their mouths. And the whole family would burst to laugh. Sometimes, the mood changed. When I was driving with my mum besides me, and others went asleep, we would have a serious chat about my life.

Sometimes, my dad will ask the names of places we were passing through. All names (often ridiculous) would pop up. Well, it was just a happy moment.


Raya
As most guys at my age will face - question of life and death - 'Bila nak kahwin?'. It's a wave-off answer.

As an eldest son, I took the initiative to catch up on my siblings. I managed to have a one-on-one eating session. It was planned but I doubt they realized. I even had Ayaz to eat alone with me. He hated easy math. As he said lol. He said he could solve hard questions but stuck at easy questions. As funny as it sounded, a good brother should take serious of what his sibling said. It's the way you develop your sibling's self-respect.

Duit raya was not much. I decided to give duit raya too. Rasa dewasa sikit haha. Ziarah raya this year felt more significant. All in all, this year's raya went smoothly and happily. Even the latest gossips of my aunties, mom and grandma did not have any tearful impacts.

Have been visiting so many relatives. Even relatives I have never met before. Two of them were even my students at Al-Amin. We were also visiting our parents schools. My dad made a remark on how our children would be if in years to come we decide to bring our children to Al-Amin. I asked why he asked that. He said because we seemed so indifferent. I laughed. We seemed indifferent because we couldn't relate to their memories. How could I expect my children to have sentimental values as I would have when passing through Darul Quran? Or to be happy when I visit Tbun one day?

I don't really feel sad leaving Ramadhan. Although I am hoping to meet Ramadhan next year. I feel that if we are told to be happy during Raya, we should be. We usually feel sad leaving Ramadhan because we might feel there won't be any chance like Ramadhan. But we want the chance for the sake of Allah. Therefore, being happy during Eid is also an act of deed. Wallahu a'lam.

There's no picture yet. All still in the cameras.

The International 3 - Dota 2
Besides that, I have been updating Dota 2 biggest tournament, The International 3, 2013 from my kampung Kubang Kerian. This year's tournament was very exciting. If people who plays football will get excited when great teams gather and fight, so do gamers. The International 3 was one of the biggest e-sport events in the whole world. The spectators were over 500,00 around the world.

The interface of player

The top prize was over 1 million USD. And the matches were very blood-pumping. They have great pro players from all over the world. One team from Malaysia even managed to qualify. That was an outstanding feat. The tournament added a different spice in my raya this year.

The players in the sound-proof box playing against each other. One team vs another team. There are commentators commenting the match, just like football commentator.

Crowds.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZQINOLkx5Q

Watch. You'll know how thrilling it was.

Salam.

Swimmer's ear - a gift on the first night of Ramadhan

Before Ramadhan, two weeks to be exact, I got an ear infection due to my frequent swimming workout. Funny thing is, the infection I was getting in the outer ear was known as 'Swimmer's ear'. Or scientifically, otitis externa.

The first days were very painful. I couldn't dive deeper because my right ear felt so painful, it sounded like it was cracking inside. I went to buy earplugs, but kept losing it in the pool whenever I did my flip turn. But the ear became worse. Eventually, in two days, I lost almost 70% of my hearing on the right ear. It was my habit to clean up my ear after a swimming session, but obviously it was not enough. My sleep was interrupted due to sudden surge of pain and constant ringing in my right ear.

I went to the doctor. I took the ear drops and oral antibiotics. What happened was, some water was left near my eardrum, it clogged and made surrounding area suitable for bacteria, hence the infection. My ear canal was swelling, and also my eardrum didn't vibrate the way it should. Even the otoscope almost did not fit into my ear.

So, the days of misery began. I valued music. I listened to the Quran, songs, and music, and I often wondered how beautiful music would be in the Heaven. I was specifically grateful for the hearing that Allah had bestowed upon me, more than any other parts of my body. Then, when my right ear failed to function properly, I somehow freaked out.

My hearing became muffled, I failed to detect where the sound was coming from. And I could hear the sound next to my ear like it was 2 meters away. The ringing was somehow constant and it made me a bit off balanced. The ringing sounded like after you hear the flash bang. The ringing felt so close to my ear. My balance was off. Suddenly, I valued my hearing more than I had ever imagined.

I read the story of Urwah bin Zubair. How when his leg was amputated, his friend said 'Bergembiralah, kerana anggotamu itu telah mendahuluimu ke syurga..'. The last word my right ear listened to was al Mishary just before I went to sleep. So, as to calm myself, I also told myself the same thing. Getting myself prepared just in case I lost my right ear. Allah wanted to test me I thought, and I was going to be ready. To some people, it might not be important. But to me, my hearing is important. Especially when it comes to listening to music. How I appreciate details in the piece. Still, my hearing was from Allah.

I kept snapping and clapping slowly beside my right ear just to know when will my hearing come back. I went to the doctor twice, and the doctor told me that the infection still didn't go away. I got two kinds of ear drops later. More intensive. In one week, if I hadn't got better, he would refer me to an ear specialist. It was very tense. My right ear felt right it got a veil that blocked my hearing. A veil so close to my ear.

I told my mum about it. And I got a lecture on not-to-swim-again. I understood how she felt. Sometimes, when you get older, it was good to hear your mum's lecture. Missing those old days haha. My friends and lecturers were so supportive.

During the last evening of Syaaban, just before Ramadhan, I was at the mosque. Getting ready for the azan of the first night of Ramadhan. I was at the first saf, tilawah. Felt so pumped up. Although my right ear failed to function, it failed to stop my surge of excitement for the Ramadhan. Getting my FB and Twitter deactivated few days prior, I was sure to get a good warm up.

Like a novel, when the digital clock was beeping for Maghrib, I saw the bilal went to the mike. I stood up and felt very excited. 'Allah, here I come' I said. Then, miraculously, when the azan started 'Allahu Akbar!', masya Allah, the veil that had been blocking my right ear seemed to be gone. The hearing was still muffled, but my hearing was coming back! If before I could only hear 20-30%, it became up to 50-70%. I could really feel the difference. My tears broke out, and there I sujud syukur for my hearing in the middle of the azan. It was no coincidence. It was amazing. It felt amazing. It was like the bubble that had been blocking my right ear popped. And then suddenly the sound became much clearer.

Alhamdulillah, I thank Allah for my both ears. For all my parts of body, and family.

Now, I can hear up to 90% Alhamdulillah, no more pain, fever, ringing and off-balance.

1. I learned how to speak more slowly. Try closing both your ears with your fingers, and speak very slowly. You could hear it clearly. When my right ear failed to function properly, I hear what I said louder than normal. So I began to speak more slowly.

2. I couldn't wait to get back into the swimming pool. Missing swimming so much. My doctor refrained me from swimming till the ear infection had gone.

3. Syukur itu lebih tinggi martabatnya dari sabar.

4. Swimmers! Always be ready for this. Get yourself an ear drop to clean your ear after swimming. Maintain the pH of your ear, and avoid over-cleaning.

5. Some of you might wonder how I know that percentage of hearing. Hoho. I test it with my left ear and check the clarity over distance times 100.

6. Our hearing is one of the most amazing mechanism ever existed. It worked simultaneously with our brain. One of it is positioning. Good hearing works with our brain to position and trace where the sound comes from just from its amplitude and frequency. Try this 3d sound, barbershop, and say Alhamdulillah :) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUDTlvagjJA)

Happy Ramadhan guys!

Of Butterflies [The Stroke, the Effect and the Monarch]

It's something I believe. That the world holds miraculous wonders, and in it intertwined relations, treasures and beauties. I don't know why they are there for sure, but I always feel like it is for us humans to learn and ponder.

Butterfly Stroke
When I was 8, I was playing in the pool at Ulu Yam with my brother Naim 6 at that time. We had a family day. Out of boredom for the shallow pool, we decided to switch to the higher ground, deeper pool. No one was watching us. The family day was too happening that no one expected us to climb up higher.

The pool we went then was murky. It's not like a swimming pool, it's just a ground digged filled with water. We did not see the real depth of the pool. We jumped straight away in it. Somehow, Naim stepped into the deeper side of the pool. He screamed for help as his feet weren't unable to feel the bottom of the pool. I at that time managed to stand up felt with my foot where the pool got deeper. Naim was screaming and drowning. I was so afraid at that time. I felt like crying. I later felt the steep part, I grabbed the side of the pool while Naim was slowly drifting away from the side and drowning. He struggled so much. I jumped to him with my hand still attached to the side and grabbed him. He was saved. Alhamdulillah.

Today, it's one of my initiatives to teach people how to swim. During a camping or a jaulah, whenever we are in water I often be asked or voluntarily teach people how to swim. Of course, I never have the coach certificate, but I do learn how to swim out of fear that one day when someone needs help as in Naim's case, I might not be able to save the person. And I could never forgive myself for that. Never.

I often ponder why Rasulullah told us to learn swimming(also riding horse and archery). In my opinion, there are a few important values people acquire along their journey to learn swimming. Adapting oneself, courage, freedom, focus and most importantly, appreciation.

Butterfly : Upper body strength is very important to perform this stroke beautifully.

In swimming, there are four main strokes. Freestyle, breastroke, back stroke, and butterfly. The hardest of all these strokes is butterfly and this stroke is usually learned the last of all four. Fluidity, power and rhythm as mentioned by Philip Toriello makes butterfly stroke the most majestic stroke. This stroke is considered the hardest because it requires both hands and legs to move together, not in alternating pattern of right and left like the freestyle, or leg and hand like the breast stroke. Butterfly requires you to move both simultaneously. And compared to other strokes, this stroke stresses the importance of rhytm, without it your butterfly will be inefficient and out of form. I've already started to learn this difficult stroke as the holiday started. A beautiful point I found on the net and deeply significant for me is when learning this stroke, we must learn to appreciate.

As this stroke is very difficult compared to other strokes, we must learn to appreciate every little part of movements involved in the stroke. The push, the pull, the recovery phase, the dolphin kick, the breathing, the energy management. We must learn to aware what movement contributes to what dynamics, what push moves you forward, how to recover effectively, how to dismiss unnecessary movements. The stroke is so tiring you need to really observe your energy management as your energy is limited. Your efficiency in managing your energy by performing the correct technique optimizes your speed and fluidity in water. Otherwise, you would just be splashing water.

If you observe the body performing butterfly from the side, you will see the rhythm of the body somehow mimics the shape of sine graph. If you perform it correctly, you'll understand why people say it's the most beautiful, majestic stroke ever. For butterfly to come to its shape is not easy, it requires hardwork, discipline, respect and appreciation for every minor and major details of the stroke - and from it comes the beauty, power and fluidity of this superb stroke.

From this stroke, I learn something to relate with my life. I hope I put it out well for you to understand. It's appreciation. Success comes when I acknowledge and appreciate minor and major things in my life, realizing that each of these contributes in my life, one way or another. And to move forward efficiently, dismiss any unneccessary movements that might slow you down or distract you from reaching your dreams. It's so significant for me.

Perhaps because this stroke is very hard and I could only go 25 meters with a nice form. Longer than that my upper body fails to execute the movement really well. And I would telan all the water as my effort to breath also fails. -.-

* It's unlike freestyle or breast stroke where you could go 1-2 kilometers without complete exhaustion, butterfly's a whole different thing. Perhaps it's me only lol. (Here's a video - Olympics Men 4 x 100m Medley Relay where all four strokes in one competition. Watch. It's amazing! Click )

Butterfly Effect

In 1972, Edward Lorenz a mathematician and meteorologist presented a paper titled, "Does the flap of a butterfly's wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas?". As far-fetched as it sound however, the effect is real. The effect is also called sensitive dependence on initial conditions.

Butterfly effect describes how one small change in a system initially can result in a big difference in the end.  Opposed to common sense that small change would only compensate for small difference. Lorenz realized this when he was keying in data in his weather model. He encountered problems earlier and to save time and space, instead of entering 6 digits data he decided to round-off the decimals to 3 digits assuming that the rounding-off makes no significant change.

What he found was surprising. A very small change had altered the outcome by major difference in his model. Later he realized that long-term weather forecasting is impossible due to the nature of the weather. It's because of this butterfly effect that makes predicting space weather is far more easier than predicting our own weather.

While I am eager to share the mathematical aspect of this effect, I am afraid that what I'm trying to share might not get to you. Picture below is an example of butterfly effect. The instrument is called double pendulum. While it is fairly easy for us to predict the motion of a single pendulum swaying fro and forth, when we add another variable, in this case is another pendulum attached to the original pendulum, the predictability becomes significantly hard and the condition becomes haywire and chaotic it results in a fairly complex condition. Another example is like how Sun and Earth interacts ceteris peribus. You can predict the motion of these two bodies fairly easy if you have enough information. But if you add another body, let's say Mars, it becomes a completely different thing. Predicting it becomes hardly possible and hitherto the solutions aren't completely understood. (Read more : Three body problem)

Here, I am not trying to potray that our life is chaotic and frenzy, no. But I'm trying to show you, in life, every single thing small or big act you do, do have effects in your life. Being more serious, good deeds and sins do affect our life. As good deeds bring blessings and tranquility into life, sins make us less sensitive to people and to God. Although we do know that Allah is al Ghaffar and sins can be erased through repentance, we also should know once we do what we do, the effects are already rippling through life.

In a bigger picture, what we do affect other people. Family, friends, Ummah and humanity. The struggle to appreciate every small things we do, to pay attention to big things and observe the incoming ripples stemmed from our actions is tiring. I assure you. But, Rasulullah taught us to observe minor details, both good and bad. Every bit of positive energy injected in the system and vice versa, we are to observe that and not to take it for granted.

Abu Dzar, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Don’t underestimate any good deed, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face.” (Muslim).

To really realize that every action we make is indeed significant, if not in short-term it will be in a longer term, requires consistent effort. To fill in every little space and hole in our life with deeds, even the smallest of all deeds and to dismiss and consciously deal with bad behaviour or mistakes. Rasulullah also mentioned how we as Muslims should observe and avoid underestimating minor sins.

Rasulullah pbuh said: “Beware of sins which are treated as being minor, just like a people who encamp in the centre of a valley, so someone brings a stick of firewood and someone else brings a stick until they are, therefore, able to bake their bread. Likewise, sins which are treated as being minor, and for which the person is taken to account, will destroy him.” [Ahmad]

The realization of small things do bring significant effects in our life is important as it would allow us to be mindful of Allah, to deal with our own desire justly, to become aware of the cause-effect factor in every thing we do in life. I don't intend to depict that sinning is the end and then we are doomed, no. There is hope. If you have injected negative energy, reinject positive energy so that the net energy in your life is positive. As good deed erases sin :) May we be a servant of Allah who is observant and grateful.

Frodo is small yet he saves the world. Be the change.


Monarch Butterfly
At last, here comes the real living butterfly. I think the placement of this wonderful creature as the last of the butterflies is right. I suggest after you read my post, you do further readings on this butterfly. I am afraid that what I am going to share is not sufficient and don't do justice to the monarch butterfly. It's one of the most amazing creatures on Earth, and this is not exaggeration.



Dan Osipov

Why do I say it's an amazing creature? It's because they are the only insect that migrates up to 2500 miles to move to warmer areas! These monarchs migrate to overwintering areas because they could not stand the freezing of winter. Masya Allah. The migration is also caused by the availability of foods for their larvaes, in this case milkweed.

By October or sooner, millions of monarchs will migrate to their overwintering areas. They travel about 25-30 miles per day. Another amazing thing in their migration is, they somehow know where is their overwintering sites. They know where to go.

Apart from that, they also know how to come back when the strangest thing is, it's not the same butterflies that makes the first journey, they are the fourth generation, super grand children of the ones who arrive at the overwintering sites.

Not all of the monarchs are capable to migrate. The first, second, and third generation only live up to six weeks after their metamorphosis. Only the fourth generation live up to six or eight months to enable them to migrate. Allahu Akbar. This generation will embark upon a journey they have never gone before, following only God knows what direction to their away overwintering sites that are thousand miles away. Along with millions of other monarchs, they travel together, struggling through strong winds, bad weather, dangerous and poisonous air, and lastly to adapt when they arrive at their overwintering sites only to know that the sites have been demolished to make way for humans.

Scientists still cannot figure out how the monarchs were able to tell direction. Some postulate that they might have same mechanism as migrating bird, a sensor in their brain to align with the magnetic fields of earth. Some say that they follow the wind. Up till now, no one really knows how these wonderful creature know how to fly thousand miles and end up in the same places as their ancestors were. All Praise to Allah, al Khaliq.

Sadly, many of their sites are now gone. Due to inhuman human activities. The good thing is, citizens of U.S and Mexico are so amazing they decided to start the initiative long time ago, to tag the butterfly and plant milkweed so that these monarchs have a home when they come back.

I'll leave it to you to relate Monarch Butterfly to your life. We are the student of the world, we learn from every thing. And I learn a lot from them.

I am calling all readers to care for our environment. We as a khalifah in this world have a responsible to preserve and care for our forests, animals and other living creatures. I teach Biology and Science at Al-Amin as cikgu ganti, I told my students who are capable, to join a campaign by WWF. You can choose either to adopt a tiger, turtle, orang-utan or a panda. Not more than RM40 a month. You will also get free merchandises and updates of your beloved pet. Most importantly, you save a life. http://www.wwf.org.my/how_you_can_help/donate_main/adopt_a_tiger1.cfm

Start the initiative now! :)
Conclusion

Live your life, learn, and appreciate.

Chase your dreams.

Always be aware of other people's sufferings and hardships.

Have a nice day! :)

p/s Just have a very good night with my family at the Global March to Jerusalem. Pray for me that I'll die there one day, untuk syahid sebenar-benar syahid.

Aman

Nasyid yang sangat bertepatan dengan situasi sekarang.

 

Yang dulu ramainya kita miliki bersama
Ke mana hilangnya hidup yang bahagia
Kelembutan dalam bermesra
Kemanisan dalam bicara
Seni pekerti insan dunia
Si kecil kini merana yang tua rasa sengsara
Dalam sedar atau lena tiada hidup bersama

Persaudaraan lesu, kasih sayang kelabu
Mencium berdebu menjadi candu nafsu
Membangkai sanubariku tidak lagi cinta diburu
Yang ada cemburu melulu membunuh hatiku
Cintaku rinduku, jiwaku pada-Mu
Doaku pohon restu kasih-Mu sayang-Mu
Rahmat-Mu Tuhan Yang Satu
Kurniaan-Mu untuk hamba-Mu oh...

Gegak gempita bila segala berubah hala
Sandiwara bermula bermadah kata nista
Yang mana harus aku percaya
Wajah yang jujur berkata dusta
Gila kuasa tamak haloba pengaut harta dan sakit jiwa
Ikut ah... turut ah... ku sanggah...
Katamu janjimu tak perlu
Aku sahut ku berpaut tidak hasrat bukan takut
Ku bukan pak turut

Kita harus bersatu, ayuh kita laungkan bersama
Suara keamanan sejagat manusia
Menyemaikan cinta, menyuburkan sayang
Agar dunia aman sentosa

Sayu satu sendu aku tahu itu mengganggu
Syahdu pilu jiwaku
Kerna cinta hanya tiba bila rasa kecewa
Hiba tanpa dirinya
Usah resah rasa susah endah pada tak gundah
Tumpah darah tak kisah
Bukankah insan telah dicipta saling kasihan untuk teguhkan
Kemanusiaan dan peradaban bukan alasan

Bukan pengkhianatan tapi keikhlasan dan kejujuran
Bukan pergaduhan bukan peperangan

Adakah mungkin, ada pemimpin mampu memimpin
Kami ingin dipimpin
Dari yang pedih, perih dan jerih
Harapkan kasih, sayang bukan ditagih
Harap yang keruh juga yang rapuh menjadi teguh
Mampu kita berteduh
Kacau beralih kini berkasih, sayang beragih
Nikmat Tuhan pengasih
Kedamaian keamanan

Kita harus bersatu, ayuh kita laungkan bersama
Suara keamanan sejagat manusia
Menyemaikan cinta, menyuburkan sayang
Agar dunia aman sentosa

 

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I was there, at Stadium Kelana Jaya.

 

And I know, there will be another surge of protest. If the legal channel is not taken seriously, BERSIH 4.0 will take place.

Malu dan ikhtilat (Copy Paste)

Musta'mal~

Hari ni,salah sorang kawan talaqqiku kantoi dengan syeikh yang dia ada berhubung dengan seorang wanita bukan mahram di phone..*yakni couple*...

kemudian syeikh bagi nasihat yang sangat lembut tapi betul-betul menyentuh hati kami semua....

syeikh: kamu suka dia?

fulan: ya syeikh....

syeikh: kamu suka tu suka-suka atau kamu rasa dia memang yang terbaik untuk menjadi teman hidupmu,menjadi ibu untuk anakmu,menjadi pembantu agamamu?

fulan: ya syeikh...pada pandangan saya,dia yang terbaik untuk jadi teman hidup saya dan agama saya...

syeikh: bila kamu akan menikahinya?

fulan: lepas belajar syeikh...dalam 3 tahun lagi...

syeikh: jadi kenapa kamu rosakkan dia?kamu bukan nak menikah sekarang?kamu rosakkan dia sekarang dan 3 tahun akan datang?kenapa kamu jadikan air mutlak menjadi air musta'mal tanpa sebab?bukankah dia wanita suci yang bakal menjadi ibu untuk anakmu?kenapa kamu bercouple dengannya sedangkan jika kamu sukakan dia,dia sukakan kamu,bersabarlah hingga sampai waktu kalian benar-benar ingin menikah kemudian baru kamu jumpa ayahnya dan pinang dia secara suci?bukankah cara itu lebih suci?wanita umpama air mutlak,mereka suci,tetapi apabila mereka mula berhubung dengan lelaki tanpa sebab,apatah lagi ber couple,wanita itu umpama air musta'mal..ia tidak boleh digunakan untuk bersuci tetapi hanya digunakan untuk perkara selain bersuci seperti basuh pinggan,basuh najis,basuh bontot dan sebagainya...apa kamu sanggup ibu untuk anakmu setaraf itu?sesungguhnya wanita ini akalnya pendek,nafsu mereka didepankan atas segalanya,kalau lelaki datang ucapkan kata-kata palsu,mereka akan mempercayainya melebihi mereka percayakan al-quran...sedangkan lelaki memang perangai mereka hanya main-main kecuali mereka benar-benar bersedia untuk nikah,tapi sekiranya mereka belum sedia,contohnya mereka masih belajar dan sebagainya,jelas permainan mereka dengan wanita itu hanya tipu daya,tapi tipu daya semudah itu pun dapat menipu para wanita hingga membawa mereka ke ranjang perzinaan..itu tandanya akal mereka sangat pendek...nabi utuskan para lelaki sebagai penjaga para wanita bukan perosak mereka....bagi kamu,couple,cha­tting,cakap dalam phone semua itu dosa kecil sedangkan ia jelas haram kerana allah haramkan kita untuk dekati zina....dekati zina pun tak boleh,makna kata kalau kita masih jauh 50km dari zina,tapi 1cm kita gerakkan kaki ke arah zina itu telah haram kerana perintah ini....jadi janganlah pandang remeh perkara zina ini...sesungguhnya ramai yang mati tanpa berzina tetapi di mahsyar kelak buku amalan mereka penuh dengan dosa zina.....apa berbaloi kau bahagia sementara dengan teman wanita yang kau tak ingin nikahi diganti dengan azab neraka yang panasnya 70x ganda api dunia?

note: kepada lelaki bapuk di luar sana yang gemar permainkan wanita...ketahu­ilah bahawa kalian adalah MUSUH ALLAH DAN MUSUH RASULULLAH ! ! ! kalian permainkan para wanita yang akalnya pendek,tidak dapat bezakan baik dan buruk...memang para wanita walaupun akal pendek,tapi mereka dikurniakan sifat malu yang tinggi....fb,phone,twitter,int­ernet ni semua dicipta dajjal untuk menghakis sifat malu para muslimah sehingga mereka jadi umpama kucing betina yang menggoda2 kucing jantan untuk mengawan...wanita yang berpurdah yang kononnya wanita paling pemalu(tak mau orang lihat wajah merek) pun pamerkan gambar mereka walaupun berpurdah di fb untuk tatapan jutaan lelaki bukan mahram,mereka tanpa segan silu bergurau senda,tanpa malu inbox lelaki dan sebagainya...sekarang akal mereka tidak dapat jaga diri mereka,bahkan sifat malu juga tidak dapat jaga diri mereka..jadi siapa yang bertanggungjawa­b menjaga maruah para bidadari rasulullah kalau bukan LELAKI???

lelaki yang couple2 dan yang bersayang2 dengan bukan mahram atas nama "tunang" tu..tolong lah....korang ada akal kuat..korang tak bodoh....korang nak memusuhi allah dan rasul,itu hak korang...tapi korang kena sedar,nanti korang pun akan ada anak perempuan,korang suke ke jantan tah mana-mana berhubung,berma­nja,bersayang secara haram dengan anak perempuan korang?kalau korang redha...nampak sangat korang dayus dan lelaki dayus nabi khabarkan mereka DIHARAMKAN SYURGA KEPADANYA WALAUPUN BAUNYA.....

[Cerpen] Panahanmu aku sambut

1.

Irfan berkalih selang beberapa minit. Malam ini terasa serabut. Hatinya tidak tenang. Hujan lebat dan kilat menyabung tidak menambah apa-apa kecuali keresahan. Sejak kebelakangan ini, semuanya tidak menjadi. Hatinya terasa kering dan gersang. 'Alangkah lucunya hati ini. Di luar sana sedang musim hujan, dalam hati ini musim kemarau. Allah.'

Guruh semakin galak berdentum. 'Ahh..menganggu tidur sahaja!' katanya. Irfan semakin geram. Dia berkalih sekali lagi. Kali ini kaki di kepala katil pula, terbalik. Dia terfikir kenapa sampai begini hatinya resah. 'Ada apa-apa yang aku buat salah ke?' fikirnya.

Usrahnya sudah tak basah seperti dulu. Tadabur dan tilawah al Qurannya juga seperti tidak membawa makna apa-apa. Semakin bosan. Solat pun sudah hilang umphnya. Puasanya hanya kerana mengikut ikhwah-ikhwah lain yang turut berpuasa. Tiada lagi semangat dalam hatinya. Galau sungguh rasa. 'Kenapa?' monolognya.

Ditambah serabut dengan tanggungjawab persatuannya dan assignmentnya lagi. 'Ahh..serabut. Classmate tak boleh harap, semua nak aku buat. Ikhwah akhawat pun kerja lembab semacam je. Kata nak dakwah, tapi ambil tanggungjawab acuh tak acuh. Nak kejar syurga, tapi kerja macam tak nak syurga.' keluhnya geram.

'Baik aku keluar ambil angin sekejap. Duduk dalam bilik lagi serabut jadi'.


Di ruang tamu, kelihatan seorang sahabatnya, Aiman sedang bertahajjud. 'Oh..sudah pukul 4 rupanya'. Dia keluar diam-diam ke halaman rumah, tidak mahu menganggu sahabatnya itu. Irfan membuka pintu dengan berhati-hati, tanpa mengeluarkan sebarang bunyi dan menutupnya kembali dengan perlahan. Dia menuju ke bangku di sebelah rumah.

Kawasan luar rumahnya berbumbung, menghadap bendang yang sangat luas. Dia dan kawan-kawannya sering duduk di situ berehat-rehat, melepaskan tekanan seharian di universiti. Namun, pagi ini dia bersendirian. Dia ingin merungkai permasalahan hatinya.

Irfan duduk. Keluhannya berat. Hujan masih lebat. Kelihatan nun di sana kilat sabung menyabung, bagaikan menari-nari di kaki langit.

'Allah..bantu aku ya Allah. Kenapa hatiku rasa begini gersang?'

Irfan berharap dia mendapat jawapannya malam itu. Dia termenung jauh. Jauh ke arah kilat yang saling menyabung di kaki langit sana. Bercahaya dan terang benderang. 'Cantik...' katanya. Irfan berbaring dan terlena.

2.

Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar! Azan sayup-sayup kedengaran. Irfan terbangun. 'Oh..aku tertidur di sini rupanya...' bisiknya. Badannya sudah menggigil kesejukan. Tidur di luar sepanjang malam yang hujan membuatkan badannya berhempas pulas mengekalkan core temperaturenya. Rumah sudah bercahaya, tanda penghuni-penghuninya sudah bangun.

Alhamdulillah. Semenjak duduk di sini, Subuhnya terjaga, solat-solatnya andai tidak di Pusat Islam di universiti, akan di surau. Dakwah masyarakat kan? Semestinya penduduk teringin ikut sekali ke surau andai kelihatan mahasiswa-mahasiswa yang mengimarahkan masjid. Yang sedang dalam perjalanan ke surau pula sentiasa berdoa, memberi salam kepada penduduk kampung yang berselisih jalan dengan mereka.

'Kita perangi mereka dengan kasih sayang. Dakwah kita berlandaskan 'athifah. Kecintaan yang mendalam kepada manusia..' Irfan mengelamun. Teringat daurah Dakwatuna dalam Risalah Himpunan Hasan al Banna semester lepas.

'Tapi macam mana aku nak memberi kasih sayang andai aku pun rasa hati aku kosong macam ni?' keluhnya.

Irfan bingkas bangun, bersiap-siap sekali dengan ikhwah lain untuk ke surau.

'Lah...sini rupanya nta..ana ingat nta dah ke surau awal tadi..' ujar Aiman yang mencari Irfan sejak azan berkumandang lagi.

'Tak..ana di luar. Ana pergi siap-siap kejap..' balas Irfan basa-basi.

3.

Kelas hari ini semuanya bosan. Nombor-nombor yang memenuhi kertas-kertas kelihatan tak bermakna. Rasa konkrit dan kosong. Lagi menyakitkan kepala melihat skema litar yang berselirat sana-sini, dengan simbol-simbol yang menambah kekusutan di kepala.

'Nasib baik circuit atas kertas je. Kalau kena mengadap circuit betul lagi berserabut aku jadinya..' getus Irfan.

Rasa hati Irfan semakin menganggu dirinya. Pening dia memikirkan apa yang sudah terjadi dengan dirinya. Dahulu, dia amat meminati subjek-subjeknya. Setiap hari ke kelas semangat untuk mempelajari perkara baharu kekal hidup. Tapi, apa sudah jadi pada hatinya sekarang pun dia tak tahu dari mana hendak mula mencari jawapan. 'Allahu musta'an...' doanya dalam diam.

Tak sabar nak menghabiskan sesi makmalnya yang terakhir. Sudah hampir 3 jam setengah dia berada di dalam makmal itu. Geramnya pada classmates bising dan riuh itu membuatkan dia ingin saja mempateri mulut seorang demi seorang. 'Soldering pen dah ada, timah dah ada. Tinggal nak buat je..' Irfan mengomel seorang diri.

Dia mengambil sebiji kapasitor  berkapasiti 10 mikrofarad untuk dipateri pada litarnya. Untuk menenangkan diri, dia merenung kapasitor itu lama-lama. Pelik. Dia seperti merasakan jawapannya kepada persoalan hatinya ada pada kapasitor ini. Pelik. Apa kaitan hatinya dan kapasitor?

'Ahh..bakal electrical engineer tak ada masa nak melayan intuitif punya kata hati macam ni..aku bukannya artis...imaginasi yang diperlukan, bukan kata hati pelik macam ini..' Irfan menidakkan kata hatinya.

'Allahu musta'an..' bisik Irfan. Dia sudah semakin lemas dalam kegersangan hatinya. Dia kembali memateri kapasitor di litarnya. Bagaikan berada seorang diri di dalam makmal, dia fokus menyiapkan kerjanya tanpa mempedulikan apa yang berlaku sekelilingya.

Dia tak sabar untuk ke kolam renang selepas ini. Setidaknya itulah kebebasan yang dia masih miliki sejak kebelakangan ini. Kebebasan untuk bergerak sebebas-bebasnya di dalam air. Tenang. Tiada yang menganggu.

4.

Guruh berdentum sekali lagi. Malam ini hujan lagi. Ditambah dengan riuhnya guruh dan kilat di luar. Irfan kembali ke bangku di luar rumah. Dia semakin menyukai tempat itu. Ditambah pula dengan pertunjukan kilat di hadapan matanya dan hujan yang menambah syahdu. Dia memerlukan sesuatu untuk mengisi rasa hatinya yang kosong. Jam menunjukkan tepat jam 4 pagi.

Dia duduk termenung. Kemudian Irfan membuka mushafnya untuk dibaca. Dia berharap dapat menemui jawapan dalam tilawahnya itu nanti.

Dalam hujan malam itu, dia membaca penuh pengharapan. 

Tangisannya diseka. Tilawah al Quran membuatkannya menangis. Tapi tangisnya bukan kerana menyesal atas dosa. Tangisnya kerana merasa sangat takut dengan apa yang berlaku dengan dirinya. Dia menginginkan agar Allah menunjukkan jalan padanya. Dia masih tidak faham apa yang sedang berlaku.

Dia sudah meninggalkan maksiat, dia sudah melengkapi mutaba'ahnya, perkara-perkara harus sudah dikurangkan, namun kenapa rasa hatinya masih begini? Masih kosong. Iman itu seperti melarikan diri daripadanya.


'Assalamu'alaikum, Irfan. Ana tumpang duduk boleh?' Aiman menyapa tiba-tiba.

'Astaghfirullah! Terkejut ana. Ingatkan hantu mana tadi.. bagi lah salam dulu kalau ye pun..' Irfan mengurut-urut dadanya.

'Ana dah bagi dah..' Aiman menjawab sambil tersenyum.

'Hah..duduklah. Wa'alaikumussalam..' Irfan menjawab.

Aiman mengambil tempat di sebelah Irfan. Kedua-duanya diam. Menikmati angin hujan seketika. Aiman memulakan perbualan.

'Ana pernah baca dalam Dr Gray punya buku, Men from Mars and Women from Venus yang lelaki ni bila ada masalah dia masuk dalam gua dia. Diam seorang diri, sampai dia jumpa jawapan. Baru dia keluar gua dia balik. Dia jarang nak berkongsi dengan orang. Jadi, ana hormat nta sebagai seorang lelaki.. ' Aiman berkata-kata sambil tersenyum.

'Apa maksud nta?' Irfan bertanya kehairanan.

'Ana dah nampak nta macam ada masalah. Cuma, ana biar dulu nta settle sendiri. Mungkin nta perlu masa bersendirian. Cuma, ana nak beritahu kalau nta perlukan teman mendengar atau nak consult sesiapa, ana ada di sini..' ujar Aiman sambil tersenyum lagi.

'Ok. Takpe..kalau ana perlu ana cakap. Sekarang ana perlu masa berfikir. Cuma, kalau nta tak keberatan, nta teman ana duduk di sini kejap boleh?' pinta Irfan. Di sebalik keengganannya untuk berkongsi masalahnya, dia akui dia memerlukan seorang teman untuk bersamanya ketika ini.

'Emm..ok!' jawab Aiman pantas.

Tiada gesaan ke atasnya pagi ini. Qiamnya sudah cukup 8 raka'at, muraja'ah al Qurannya sudah dilakukan sekaligus di dalam solatnya, solat witir dan doa qunut juga sudah dipanjatkan untuk pejuang-pejuang Islam seantero dunia juga untuk mereka yang dizalimi. Sekarang sudah hampir waktu sahur, sunnahnya ialah berhenti qiam dan beristighfar sehingga waktu subuh. Ayat al Quran 'Wal mustaghfirina bil ashar' dan 'wa bil ashari hum yastaghfirun' dipahat di dalam kepala.

Kedua-duanya diam. Membiarkan dentuman guruh mengisi telinga masing-masing. Irfan dengan fikirannya dan Aiman dengan istighfarnya. Di dalam hati masing-masing mengagumi keindahan suasana hujan dan kilat yang saling menyabung di hadapan mereka.

Lama mereka diam.

'Tengok kilat tu..cantik kan?' Aiman sekali lagi memulakan perbualan.

'Haah..cantik.' jawab Irfan lemah. Dia masih sibuk menyelami rasa hatinya yang sedang mencari jawapan.

Mereka berdua diam kembali.

Irfan yang masih berfikir tiba-tiba mendapat idea. Dia teringat peristiwa petang tadi di mana dia merasakan kapasitor yang dipegangnya dapat memberikan jawapan kepada persoalannya.

'Bagus..mamat sebelah aku ni budak dekan elektrik, mesti boleh jawab!' Irfan bermonolog.

'Akhi..emm. Boleh nta terangkan pada ana tak pasal kapasitor? Ana tahu ana macam orang gila tiba-tiba pagi buta ni tanya pasal kapasitor. Tapi ana nak tahu..' pinta Irfan.

Aiman memandangnya kehairanan. Dia mengangguk dan diam sebentar. Kelihatan seperti mencari cara terbaik untuk menerangkan pada Irfan mengenai kapasitor. Kemudian dia memandang Irfan dan tersenyum.

'Tu....' Aiman berkata sambil menunjuk ke arah bendang.

'Erk..apa dia yang nta tunjuk tu?' tanya Irfan kehairanan.

'Kilat..' Aiman menjawab. 'Untuk pengetahuan nta, kilat adalah sebuah kapasitor semula jadi.. konsepnya sama seperti dengan kapasitor yang kecil tu..cuma, kilat lebih besar, bertenaga, dan tak terkawal. Dan ianya ciptaan Allah yang sangat indah..!' sambung Aiman sambil bertasbih.

'Elaborate more please...' Irfan meminta sambil tersengih. Dia tertarik mengenai kaitan kilat dengan kapasitor.

'Nta tahu macam mana kapasitor berfungsi kan secara basic kan? Cuba terangkan pada ana. Kita revise balik pagi ini..' Aiman bertanya kembali.

'Tahu. Kapasitor berfungsi bila dua plate yang dijarakkan, di caj di satu plate positif dan lagi satu plate negatif. Bila charge positif dan negatif makin banyak terkumpul di plate masing-masing, voltan antara kedua-duanya semakin tinggi, sehingga tiba ke satu tahap yang digelar breakdown, udara atau material yang memisahkan kedua-duanya yang pada asalnya penebat menjadi konduktor kerana breakdown yang berlaku. Bila dua-dua plate itu discharge, tenaga terhasil. Arus eletrik pun mengalir.. Nta nak ana bagitahu sekali ke formula-formulanya? Ana ingat lagi ni..hehe.' jawab Irfan sambil mneyeringai kebanggaan.

'Fenomena kilat secara asasnya pun macam itu lah akhi..kilat ini secara sejarahnya merupakan fenomena yang membolehkan manusia memanfaatkan api. Kalau nta pernah tengok cerita Spongebob Squarepant macam mana Spongebob, Patrick dan Squidward manfaatkan api yang terhasil daripada sambaran kilat..' Aiman mula menghuraikan. 'Walaupun mereka duduk di laut..' Aiman berbisik. Baru dia sedar mengarutnya Spongebob. 'Ada api dalam laut?' monolognya.

'Ana tak sangka nta minat Spongebob...' Irfan memintas. Dia menjeling Aiman. Aiman minat Spongebob? Kelakarnya.Tak logik langsung, macam 1+1=3.

'Eh..ke situ pulak. Itu dulu. Lelaki ini kadang-kadang muka je legend, dalam hati ada taman..' Aiman membela diri. Takut tercalar imej kejantanannya. Jatuh sahamnya kalau pakcik-makcik ejen Baitul Muslim tahu ini. Macam mana nak kahwin dengan akhawat qawiyyah macam ini.

'Plate dalam fenomena kilat ini ialah tanah dan awan. Dalam proses yang saintis pun tak faham sepenuhnya, caj-caj negatif terkumpul di dasar awan dan caj-caj positif tertarik ke kawasan awan yang lebih tinggi. Saintis percaya matahari memainkan peranan penting dalam proses pemisahan caj-caj ini.. ' Aiman menerangkan sambil tangannya menggayakan awan dan matahari.

'Bila caj-caj negatif terkumpul di bahagian bawah awan, caj-caj positif terkumpul di daratan. Cuba nta tengok sekarang, nampak tak dalam banyak-banyak kilat itu, ada kilat yang tak sampai ke bawah? Dia keluar in branches tapi tak cecah tanah. Fenomena itu dipanggil stepped leader atau downward leader. Ianya terjadi bila caj-caj negatif yang ingin turun tak disambut oleh caj-caj positif dari darat. Nampak tak mereka macam cuba nak turun tapi tak dapat?' Aiman bertanya.

'Haah.. macam cinta tak disambut pun ada. Bertepuk sebelah tangan..' Irfan menjawab.

'Macam cinta Allah yang tak disambut oleh hambaNya kan?' Aiman menambah.

Irfan terasa. Dia mula mencari makna di sebalik fenomena itu diam-diam. 'Astaghfirullah..' bisik Irfan.

'Kilat ini akan jadi bila stepped leader disambut oleh upward streamer dari daratan. Udara antara awan dan daratan akan break down, menyebabkan pokok-pokok atau konduktor dapat mengalirkan caj-caj positif dengan berkesan. Medan elektrostatik yang tinggi akan menyebabkan udara di ionize dan memudahkan laluan untuk pertemuan caj-caj positif dan negatif. Boom! Kilat pun menyabung..Pertemuan dua kelompok caj itu akan menghasilkan cahaya yang gemilang beserta dengan energy transfer yang sangat-sangat tinggi!..' Aiman meneruskan huraiannya. Hatinya semakin gembira dengan takbir, membesarkan keagungan Tuhannya. Allahu Akbar.

'Ianya semacam dua-dua sumber tenaga yang melimpah-limpah bila bertemu. Mereka mengalirkan tenaga yang begitu tinggi.. Semacam empangan yang dibuka setelah sekian lama ditakung..Masya Allah..' Aiman tenggelam dalam kekagumannya pada ciptaan Allah.

'Senang cerita, untuk kilat ini terjadi ada dua syarat. Yang pertama, perbezaan voltan antara dua kawasan mestilah sangat tinggi. Yang kedua, mesti adanya medium yang menghalang aliran tenaga daripada berlaku. Macam udara yang kemudiannya break down. Atau macam dinding empangan. Sebab itu bila kilat menyabung, semacam flood gate terbuka..' Aiman menamatkan penerangannya sambil tersenyum. Episod Spongebob kembali menjengah mindanya. Teringat babak di mana Spongebob berkongsi api membakar makanan. 'Tapi, api dalam laut? Hish..mengarut..'Aiman berkhayal.

'Akhi..terima kasih!' Irfan memeluk Aiman erat.

Irfan merasakan dia semakin hampir dengan jawapannya.

'Sama-sama. Akhi, buka Surah ad-Dhuha. Tadabbur maknanya, baca kisah di sebalik penurunannya..moga Allah mempermudahkan..' Aiman merasakan pelukan Irfan semakin erat, dadanya kembang kempis.

Irfan bangun dan terus masuk ke dalam rumah. Menahan sebak di dalam dadanya.

5.

Irfan cepat-cepat menghabiskan lapnya yang terakhir di kolam tersebut. Freestylenya ditambah dengan drill slow arm recovery, quick catch dan high swingers sebagai final push. Rasanya tidak sabar lagi untuk pergi ke library. Ingin mencari maklumat mengenai Surah ad-Dhuha seperti yang disarankan oleh Aiman.

Setibanya Irfan ke perpustakaan, dia terus menuju ke makmal komputer untuk mencari di Internet dan direktori buku-buku di situ. Mencari asbab nuzul surah itu, pendapat perawi-perawi dan Imam-imam hadith mengenai surah itu.

Setelah lebih tiga jam berulang-alik tingkat satu dan dua, mengupload artikel-artikel ke dalam dropboxnya untuk dibaca di telefon pintarnya, membawa buku-buku rujukan dan kitab ke mejanya dan menelaah serta menelefon asatizahnya, akhirnya dia puas.

Surah ad-Dhuha diturunkan kepada nabi Muhammad untuk menghiburkan hati Baginda, yang merasa ditinggalkan oleh Allah dan Jibril kerana sudah lama tidak menerima wahyu. Juga untuk menenangkan Baginda yang berduka cita kerana ejekan kafir Quraisy.

Bismillah

 Demi waktu dhuha,

  Dan malam apabila ia sunyi-sepi -

  (Bahawa) Tuhanmu (wahai Muhammad) tidak meninggalkanmu, dan Ia tidak benci (kepadamu, sebagaimana yang dituduh oleh kaum musyrik).

Dan sesungguhnya kesudahan keaadaanmu adalah lebih baik bagimu daripada permulaannya.

  Dan sesungguhnya Tuhanmu akan memberikanmu (kejayaan dan kebahagiaan di dunia dan di akhirat) sehingga engkau reda – berpuas hati.

  Bukankah dia mendapati engkau yatim piatu, lalu la memberikan perlindungan?

  Dan didapatiNya engkau mencari-cari (jalan yang benar), lalu Ia memberikan hidayah petunjuk (dengan wahyu – Al-Quran)?

  Dan didapatiNya engkau miskin, lalu Ia memberikan kekayaan?

  Oleh itu, adapun anak yatim maka janganlah engkau berlaku kasar terhadapnya,

  Adapun orang yang meminta (bantuan pimpinan) maka janganlah engkau tengking herdik;

  Adapun nikmat Tuhanmu, maka hendaklah engkau sebut-sebutkan (dan zahirkan) sebagai bersyukur kepadaNya.

'Indah sungguh ayat-ayat Allah untuk NabiNya...cukup indah. Maafkan aku ya Allah.. Maafkan aku..' Irfan menitiskan air mata selepas membaca surah ad-Dhuha. Ayat-ayat Allah itu satu persatu menerjah hatinya, membasahi daerah yang sekian lama kontang dengan iman, menerangi negeri yang sudah lama dicengkam kegelapan.

Irfan menangis tersedu-sedu. Hatinya digamit kesedihan yang begitu pahit. Betapa dia menyangka Allah telah meninggalkannya. Betapa dia merasakan bahawa Allah telah membiarkan dirinya keseorangan. Betapa dia sering menganggap Allah membiarkan doanya tak bersambut. Begitu sangkaannya selama ini.

'Ayat ini untuk aku!' Irfan terus merintih. Dia membacanya berulang-ulang kali. Ulang dan ulang. Hatinya merayu sedalam-dalamnya, memohon ampun dan menghinakan dirinya di hadapan yang Maha Mulia.

(Bahawa) Tuhanmu (wahai Muhammad) tidak meninggalkanmu, dan Ia tidak benci (kepadamu, sebagaimana yang dituduh oleh kaum musyrik).

Irfan merasakan nikmat yang tak terhingga. Hatinya mula kembang setelah sekian lama kuncup. Bagaikan nafas kehidupan kembali memenuhi setiap rongga di dalam hatinya. Rasa hangat dan dicintai. Pengharapannya yang sekian lama sunyi kini bersambut. Bersambut dengan penuh hikmah dan kefahaman. Hatinya bagai dibelai-belai dengan kasih sayang dari yang Maha Penyayang. Dia mula sedar dan bangkit. Dia mula segar dan kembali hidup, setelah sekian lama hatinya mati.

'Ya! Ianya bagaikan kilat! Setelah sekian lama rasa sunyi dan kosong, hatiku ini sangat-sangat memerlukan cinta yang bersambut. Alhamdulillah pada hari ini cintaku telah bersambut...' Irfan mula memahaminya.

'Allah memang tidak meninggalkanku. Dia ingin mengujiku sejauh manakah pengharapanku padaNya! Aku lulus ya Allah..aku lulus! Hahahahahahaha.....' Irfan semakin gembira. Air matanya tumpah kegembiraan. Dia menarik nafas, kemudian melakukan sujud syukur. Sujudnya lama. Bagaikan hamba yang pulang ke pangkuan tuannya setelah lama menghilangkan diri. Irfan tunduk. Mengagungkan kemuliaan Tuhannya.

6.

'Kunci kebahagiaan kita ini ada pada ta'abbud kita kepada Allah. Itulah seperti yang diungkapkan oleh Ibnu Qayyim dalam menghuraikan rahsia dan hikmah di sebalik solat. Ibadah itu tiada tujuan lain, hanya semata-mata ta'abbud kepada Allah. Puncak kenikmatan dalam beribadah ialah merasakan betapa hinanya kita di hadapan Allah..hati ini dipersembahkan kepada Allah, anggota-anggota kita semua ikut tunduk kepada hati. Kita serahkan segalanya untuk Allah..dengan itu, hati menjadi hidup. Sambutlah cinta Tuhanmu wahai ikhwah sekalian..bagai kilat menyambut tetamunya. Agar kehidupan mengalir di dalam hidupmu. Ia..agar ia mengalir dengan segar..' Irfan mengakhiri tazkirahnya. 

Dan sesungguhnya kesudahan keaadaanmu adalah lebih baik bagimu daripada permulaannya.

Irfan mengulang-ulang ayat daripada surah ad Dhuha itu. Dia menyedari hikmah musim kemarau yang melanda hatinya dahulu. Kini dia mendapat pengajaran yang mendalam. Dia menyedari kesilapannya dahulu.

Dan didapatiNya engkau mencari-cari (jalan yang benar), lalu Ia memberikan hidayah petunjuk (dengan wahyu – Al-Quran)?

Pengajarannya yang dia perolehi terus daripada surah ad Dhuha tersebut. Dulu dia hanya memfokuskan peningkatan kualiti dirinya sahaja. Farqiyyah! Peningkatan vertikal. Dia lupa dia juga ada tanggungjawab terhadap aspek ufuqiyyahnya. Peningkatan horizontal.

 Oleh itu, adapun anak yatim maka janganlah engkau berlaku kasar terhadapnya,

  Adapun orang yang meminta (bantuan pimpinan) maka janganlah engkau tengking herdik;

Nabi berhijrah dari Mekah ke Madinah berdua. Kembali ke Mekah dengan sepuluh ribu orang. Islam ini nikmatnya bukan untuk seorang diri. Tapi, untuk dikongsi. Tak ada makna andai cinta ini dinikmati seorang diri tanpa menghiraukan orang lain di sekeliling. Dakwah itu dasarnya 'athifah. Inilah 'athifah yang diungkapkan oleh Imam Al Banna. Kasih sayang mendalam terhadap umat manusia. Ya..kasih sayang dan cinta.

7.

Irfan kembali ke bangku kesukaannya. Hari ini dia menghabiskan qiamnya awal. Dikejutkan juga rakan-rakannya yang lain. Dia ingin orang lain merasakan apa yang dirasakannya. Walaupun dia lebih suka qiamnya dia seorang sahaja yang tahu. 

Irfan tersenyum memandang ke arah bendang yang luas di hadapannya. Malam ini hujan lagi. Kilat dan guruh kembali menjadi temannya. 

'Kilat..aku rungkaikan rahsia kau pada hari ini. Rupanya bukan cintaku tak disambut Tuhan. Tetapi aku yang tidak menyambut pengharapan manusia lain padaku. Manusia yang masih di dalam kejahilan dan kegelapan jahiliyah yang pekat...'

'Kilat..aku rungkaikan rahsia kau pada hari ini. Aku menyedari nikmat kehidupan itu tersembunyi dalam bermanfaatnya aku pada makhluq yang lain. Tenaga kehidupan yang mengalir hasil interaksi yang lahir daripada kasih dan cintanya aku pada umat manusia...'

'Kilat..aku rungkaikan rahsia kau pada hari ini. Aku akan ingat, andai suatu hari nanti aku mengalami kesusahan yang menjatuhkan, masa yang memeritkan, saat yang mendukacitakan, dan keputusan yang mengecewakan - akan ku pahat di hatiku bahawa ia hanya merupakan permulaan untuk panahan cinta yang lebih hebat. Itu lah ujian. Dan ujian tidak lain dan tidak bukan sebagai kafarah dan tapisan dari Tuhan, untuk mengetahui siapakah dalam kalangan HambaNya yang terpilih. Dan aku berdoa, agar aku dapat bertahan sehingga panahan cinta menyambutku sekali lagi. Sehingga maut menjemputku... '

'Dan pada hari ini, panahanmu telah ku sambut..' Irfan berkata. Dia mengakhiri luahannya dengan syahadah. Syahadah yang dimaknakan sedalam-dalamnya, menghadirkan hati dan mindanya, membulatkan tekad dan azamnya.

'Ini jual beliku ya Allah..terimalah..'

Di belakang Irfan, Aiman memerhatikan dengan tenang. Dia tersenyum. Alhamdulillah, Irfan berjumpa dengan jawapannya. Dia gembira untuk Irfan.

'Tapi..dah sambut panahan kilat? Ceh..mamat ni ingat dia avatar Aang ke apa nak main sambut-sambut kilat. Lain lah macam aku..ada rupa Jeneral Iroh..' Aiman kembali perasan.

Tamat.

Nota kaki :

1. Kajian mengenai kilat juga dikenali sebagai fulminologi. Masih banyak yang belum difahami mengenai fenomena kilat ini. Sila search untuk maklumat lanjut. Istilah dark lightning ada menjelaskan mengenai interaksi antara elektron dan positron (anti matter of electron). Malah, ada fenomena yang dikenali sebagai ball lightning. Peminat Naruto, bayangkan Raikiri. Ha..itu lah dia. Kepada Allah dikembalikan segala pujian, Subhanallah.

2. Ayat beristighfar waktu sahur - Ad Dzariyat:18(وبالأسحار هم يستغفرون) dan Ali Imran:17(والمستغفرين بالأسحار).

3. Idea tercetus bila Ayaz tanya macam mana kilat terjadi.

4. Image from Spongebob episode Cavemen.

4. Sebarang ketidaktepatan maklumat atau kesalahan minta dibetulkan. Terima kasih. Selamat mengambil pengajaran. :)