Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Two souls, in unison - of marriage.

Fight a person. Through his punch, you would know his frustrations. Through his kick, you would feel his anger.

Dance with a person. Her firm hands, shows her trust. Her proximity, shows her security.

Swim with a person. How he strokes, depicts his discipline. How he breathes, exhibits his confidence.

Art, is a form of expression.

If you know the art well, sometimes, you will be able to feel the other person, who acts with you.

And sometimes, the unison comes, after a while being distinctive and different. Like violin and piano, started off differently, at different notes and keys. After a while, at the most beautiful scene of a song, these wonderful sounds come into unison, in harmony, to express the most wonderful melody, bringing the music to its peak, enchanting the audience.

Binary star
Two stars. Orbiting each other.

It's a wonderful love story. Both stars are born at different places, sometimes near sometimes far. Sometimes they are born in the same neighborhood. They develop their characteristics differently. Different hotness, different light, different size. The only word to describe both of them is different. Wonderfully different.

Yet. It is fate. By sliding through gravitational pull causes by dark matter, large bodies, and neighborhoods of galaxy, they find their way to each other. Interestingly, they aren't attracted solely because of themselves alone. Gravitational capture between two single stars is very rare. Most of the union, assisted by many parties. As people say, big things always need helping hands. So does the formation of binary stars.

Even more beautiful, some lights in recent observations supports the theory that binary stars are already formed during star formation. It's like, you are fated to meet your partner, from the moment you are born.

They grow, develop and mature. Sometimes they meet and orbiting for a while, and then go different way. Sometimes they meet, and be together until one of them explodes. Sometimes they meet, and one feeds the partner with masses and energy and keep orbiting until they die. Sometimes they meet, orbit, new star comes, there goes your three-body problem. The outcome from the calculation of the problem, eventually, one star will be ejected from the system and two stars remain stable. Sometimes they meet, and they will die together, wither away. I love this version more. Looks like a happy ending.

It sounds serious. You do need a commitment to maintain such wonderful relationship, even binary stars would understand.

And that's a good thing about stars. They are beautiful.

When I was in DQ, I loved to read books. At that time, I was somehow crazy about cryptography. And you can blame Dan Brown's Digital Fortress for this. I looked up for codes, cipher and puzzles. And I managed to learn a thing or two.

A girl I liked one day wanted to borrow my book. Out of boredom, naughtiness and curiosity, plus pride to challenge whether she was smart enough to solve the code, I wrote a code at the front page of the book she borrowed. My intention initially was to challenge her. Either I was too dumb or she was too smart.


Clue is at the bottom of this page.

And the girl, she solved it! And I will be marrying her. :) 

I'm getting married. With my 'gadis pilihan'. My prayer, so that she too, is Allah's choice for me.

We knew each other when we were primary school. Then we went to separate secondary school. I was in Selangor, she was in Johor. And somehow, as the stars, we were fated to meet again in Darul Quran, and were fated to be my partner in a bureau. Academic bureau of IQRAC. Where I was the secretary and she was the vice-secretary.

After few bumps in life, on 1 May 2014, I came to her naqibah's house on invitation. Ta'aruf.

I had never been so shy, my face was so red, and that was the only moment I felt that shameful. What would you do when her naqibah and the husband left me with the girl I like to talk and get to know each other? Of course I felt embarrassed.

Of course I knew her, about her, her families, more than anyone could imagine. On limit. 'Merisik' bak kata orang Melayu.

So, we continued our taaruf on emails. Our vision, mission, aim in life, financial paradigm, career, and many more.

And we decided to get married. :)

So, here we are.

Therefore, I wish to invite fellow readers to pray for us, and if available, come to our wedding. 19th March 2015.

May we live in unison, orbiting each other with love and passion, living in redha of Allah, aiming for His blessings in our life, and here-after.

May we be the stars that shine upon others. 

Your future truly, Asif.

Mail or text me - and 0132724207 if you want card invitation.

Our wedding will be held in Kelantan.

Clue = fhvdudq
D_n(x) = (x - n) \mod {26}.
Where x = 3.
Happy solving! 

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Phase 2

This is my phase 1 evaluation.

1. Foods and nutrition are the most important elements in weight management program. It's your fuel and your maintenance substance. I must eat with the correct proportions. Carbs - complex low glycemic carbs must be always given the priority. I must make a habit to either eat brown rice, sweet potatoes, or a very very small portion of white rice. For protein, it's not a problem personally except I must avoid eating ayam berkuah or ayam goreng, as it will hinder my weight loss progress. As for fats, I'll just have mine with eggs and tunas. Simple.

2. Never sleep late. Only slot the late night staying up for extremely important cases. Macam kejut orang sahur ke. Sleeping late will increase my appetite for the next day, causing me to eat more than I should. It would also hinder my muscle growth.

3. Exercise consistently. Incorporates weight training and swimming. Both for cardio and muscle growth. Stay away from steroids. Just like the gym owner said, we go to gym to get pumped, so we could get more pump on the bed. Doing steroids would be counterproductive. Erectile dysfunction. What kind of men want a solid body but with an ED?

4. Plan your diet and exercise, always track. Set goals. Last phase, I have my goal, swimathon. I need a new goal as for now. Perhaps for the incoming March? :D

Phase 2.

1. Planning to do Herbalife. I want moneeeyyyy!

2. Continue to lift heavier. This phase aiming to completely do pull ups.

3. Next aim is set to compete at any triathlon event. Just preparing myself for now.

4. Following Shortcut-To-Size, then Arnold's Blueprint. Starting next week. Insya Allah.

5. Aim - down to 75-80 kilograms. Not too small. Just enough to have strong muscular physique. L to XL size. 4 packs perhaps? :D Insya Allah.

Only updating. Right now, after raya, my weight is back to 91 kilos. Naik 5 kilos. I don't really eat sugary foods, or any unhealthy foods, just usual Malaysian foods. Nasi lauk semua. Tup tup naik dah. Kuih raya memang tak sentuh pun.

Doakan. Sekian update untuk physical fitness.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Essential basics.

Basics. Fundamentals. Pillars. Foundations. Roots.

It's the source that expands, flourishes, nourishes, and shines.

Physicists believe this universe is made up of universal fundamentals. Fundamentals that hold true everywhere, in the Milky way or the distant super clusters of galaxies.

Chemists believe that the change is inevitable.Change happens everywhere, that changes inspire life.

Islam has its pillars. Strong simple truth, that builds a world view that is Godly, and at the same time, humanely blessed.

The world today lost their way, because we lose our way to the mastery of the basics. We lost our sense of humanity, religion, science, and courtesy, because we don't master the basics.

Simply put, basics is essential.

My life, always at the expense of mastering the basics. Even I often fail at it. Worth the risk somehow. When it comes to final examination, while everybody will stay and focus on spotting the final exams, I will withdraw to a silence spot, undisturbed, for days working out the basic formula and equations. 

Deriving, understanding, applying. I always do that. Even the urge to the short-cut of spotting finals is often seducing, but I manage to refrain myself. Most of the times, the working out of basics in my academics life would leave me sleepless for nights, sweating my forehead, the disorder of my study desk increases, the caffeine in my body system keeps increasing and often left me fatigued. I will read books that are out of my suggested syllabuses, just in order to understand the functions and derivations of principles in my subjects.

However lame it may sound, this regard to the importance of basics, always lend me a very special position in tackling exam questions. Even the question is twisted severely, I rarely lose my cool during final. My memories of taking finals are always relaxed, deep breath each questions, smile and able to do check my answers. 

And up until now, it maybe slow, but it has served me well, Alhamdulillah.

Weight loss and fitness
Often, people want short-cuts to achieve great things. In this world, there may be smart ways, but surely aren't short. Greatness is always paved with hardships and challenges. Great quality and result always comes with great efforts.

It took me months to really understand the basics of weight loss. That's only the theory. Right now, after almost one year since I've started going to gym, I still think that there is so much to learn. The form, the weight, range of reps and sets, arsenal of exercises and its variation, and most importantly, nutrition.

Like weight lifting. Often people are into the trends of lifting way heavy beyond their capabilities, when the real purpose is to provide stimulus for muscle growth, therefore become stronger. They compromise form for weight, therefore instead of going healthy they are basically destroying themselves. 

Insya Allah, when the aim is set, basics and fundamentals are mastered, you'll only need discipline to execute your way to success. And for me, the aim for the second phase in January 2015. 

Will be entering a new phase of life. Remastering basics of life, self-control, and many more.

To be truthful, just before the Swimathon, I'd imagine myself being not anywhere near from now. Decisions have been made after meticulous process. And insya Allah, I pray so that Allah bless and ease us.

Yesterday, I talked with Imam from Gaza, Imam Jihad. I escorted him. During the supper with AJK masjid, he talked about Qassam operations. Being the engineering student, both of us Imam Jihad and I, the discussion sometimes went deep in engineering terms, that pakcik-pakcik couldn't understand and his translator is having problems understanding too. So I decided to help explaining. And he was excited knowing I am from engineering faculty.

He went out later, hugged me, held my hand and my friend's hand closely, talked about the very dire need of Al-Qassam for engineers, especially electronics, electrical and mechanical. We talked long and lastly before we departed, I asked him and said "I want to be one of the martyrs. So, please pray for me, that Allah grant me martyr's death. That I die for Allah.."

He answered, why ask to die for Allah when we could ask Allah to live for Allah? Everyone dies, but not everybody truly lives. (He sounded like Razor somehow). He explained by what he meant. That if you live for Allah, surely by Allah's mercy you will die for Allah. No doubt. So, don't aim to die for Allah. Aim to live for Allah, you'll get both. 

He gave me the advice and I felt like, something is filling the void in my heart. I felt very calm, thankful and tears almost escape my eyes. I never thought about what he said at all before this. Seeing me emotional, he hugged me, and kissed my forehead deeply. And his age is the same as me. May Allah bless him.

He never told us how he related with al Qassam, but he sure knows a lot. When we asked about it, he said, not all questions can be answered. But seeing how close he was with Mas'ul for HAMAS in Malaysia, hmm.. I think he is deeply involved. 'Ala kulli hal, it was a very good advice.

I also met a lot of people, to ask for tips on cruising the next phase of life. Asking for what is fundamentals, that people often miss and overlook, neglecting, yet it plays the influential factors in life. I got many. I hope to apply them soon ^.^


What's the basic of life then?


Love Him, and all is well.

Moga Allah permudahkan segala urusan kita. 

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Second phase - 30DaysOut and Ramadhan


Ramadhan is approaching. It's June. Reevaluating my weight loss programs. After the swimathon, I threw myself into a temporary bulking state. I found out, my strength increases with my weight. After swimathon, when I think that was my leanest period, I deadlifted 90 kilos. However, three weeks later, where I added up a lot of pounds I don't know in form of muscles or fat, I deadlifted 102 kilos.

I watched what I eat, I just did not restrict my calories as I usually do.

Therefore, here comes the second phase. I'll be reevaluating it again in December. I'll put my evaluation after this short post, if I have the time to do so.

What I'll be doing, I choose to follow a program, 30 Days Out by Craig Capurso. It'll be very intense, it's the kind of program where people use for a show, contest, event such as reunion or marriage. It covers workout, nutrition and supplement. Hopefully I'll be able to follow it.

We have lots of plans  and events for Ramadhan, so I needed the program to manage my health initiative. It is easier. Plus, I'm looking to start a business. Hopefully I can get the clearance from the university management ASAP.

Plus, for any of my readers who know (if I've got any haha), Ramadhan is somehow personal for me. It always was and always will be.

Moga Allah permudahkan segalanya, untuk kita.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

I swam, I conquered. [Kapas Marang Swimathon '14]

Let me begin by saying that I was once an overweight, failed, rejected and confused guy. And the peak was at last Raya. The momentum I gained today started from that point onward.

Despite the effort I took to become better before, somehow it's like it keeps yo-yoing around. Just like my weight. My maximum weight was 118.5 kilograms to be exact on the digital scale. Everything was up and down. However, I find new strength and hope. God disconnects to connect. Alhamdulillah. :)

I know, in order to really improve my life, I have to form a new identity. Apart from inside change in terms of perspective and principle, I also wished to reform my physique. Identity is important. Your behavior is governed by your identity. Just like men won't wear women's cloth, so does fit and strong guys don't eat carelessly at KFC and drink 100Plus.

So, I make the change. I learned what was necessary in healthy body, and I put my aim in becoming at most like Hugh Jackman. Perhaps in another two or three years. Even though when I express my wish, my mother said she doesn't like man with big traps. For me his traps is OKAY.

Training and Nutrition
To swim efficiently, you need strong muscle, good stamina and correct technique. So, I asked for my friend's help who was a regular gym-goer. I learned from him what exercises were needed to stimulate muscle growth in some parts - in the end - I obtained an arsenal of BASIC knowledge on how to make almost every part strong. From biceps, triceps, deltoids, lats, hamstring, core, quad, calves, traps and glutes. It was amazing, by the end of some even-you-don't-realize period, you know a whole lot of thing that people don't know.

So, I went to the gym, I learned the proper technique, and I went swimming, I learned the correct technique. Although it was obvious for me to keep polishing my technique, I was amazed by how much I've progressed. :3

The training wasn't easy. Vomits and tears were occasional companies. Sometimes, you got angry and frustrated, and that when you performed your first 50 meters butterfly with perfect form. Sometimes, you remembered your past failures, you felt so remorseful and suddenly you were able to deadlift 100 kilograms. That's channeling energy.

Basically, I went jogging almost every morning after Subuh, and 3 weeks before the competition I stopped. I focused on maintaining my muscle and compensated my cardio and endurance in water. I lifted four to five times a week, focusing full body transformation and stressing more on deltoids, triceps, core and legs - the ones that would be used the most during the competition.

My meals then were consisted basically of chicken breast, lot of eggs, pasta, brown rice (I learned to cook them too!), countless veggies (half of them were unsuccessful experiments), and spices and whey protein supply. I learned what types of foods that were needed to support my healthy initiatives, what to avoid and many more. Surprisingly, the budget was low and the nutrition was enough.

During my training, my lifestyle also changed. In order to maximize hypertrophy and recovery, I slept early. I made sure I got enough rest. Stress-free life. I varied my training. I did research, extensive research about division in lifting - powerlifting, bodybuilding, Crossfit and PX90.

Live well
However, I didn't let this health initiative consumed my life. I hanged out with my friends, and I planned my cheat days so that it could be accommodated with my usrah - in which usually we would eat a lot!

I also took note of Arnold's advice - build your body and give back to community. I taught my overweight friends and housemates how to live healthily. My room mate loss 5 kg in two weeks :) I tried to educate my family about good foods and bad foods.

We stayed away from oily foods, excessive carbs, and we bought a lot of fruits and experimented with various veggies (most of the time haha!)

Kapas Marang Swimathon
At last, the awaited moment came. One week before competition, I virtually didn't do anything. Just maintained my healthy foods and toured KL with my siblings.

Kapas Marang Swimathon was a race - long distance from Kapas Island to Mainland Pantai Kelulut. Around 6.5 kilometers shortest distance. This year, the participants were around 530++ from all around the world including USA, Belgium, France, South Africa and many more. About 60 kayaks, 4 jet skis, and two big maritime boat were placed for safety.

My plan was just me going bringing a tent so I could sleep near the beach. But, fortunately, my parents wanted to come along (I was so happy!). They rented a home stay, and we had a lot of fun the day before. My siblings went to the beach where I would be swimming and they played around. Me? I just watched the choppy and big waves come and go. I enjoyed the moment. The happiness. The near-accomplishment feeling.

Three days prior, I have started my carb loading phase to increase my glycogen store. So, yeah, I ate a lot. Alhamdulillah.

That day, I woke at 4.30 in the morning. Did my qiam, kissed my sleeping mom and siblings and went to the jetty at 5.30 am with my dad. I felt proud - seeing so many Muslims did stop at the surau to pray just before the ferry took off at 6.00 am. Muslim swimmer!

On board of the ferry, I met two new friends. We talked about how we trained and what foods we ate and many more. At 7.30 am, the body marking started. A 228 digits were marked at my lengan. I ate my power bar. Just so that I would not exhaust myself too much during the swim. Funny, some pakciks went to mark their numbers on their bellies. It was cute though.

We had around 30 minutes to warm up. I jogged a little, do some push ups and stretching, just to get my blood pumping.

There was something I wanna search during the swim. I don't know. What I knew was I just needed to complete the swim. I prayed to Allah before the gun was shot - so that I found what I was searching for.
During a warm up session. You see all those boats. That's security. 
We had a little bit briefing. And we were informed that that day current was a bit strong and we need to see the direction the boat was anchored to figure out the strong current. Mr Chan, who was the director said the shortest distance was 6.5 kilometers but the total distance we might swim due to the strong current probably about to 8- 10 kilometers - unless our stroke was strong and steady, we would be surely pushed aside a little bit time to time.

Some of us wanted to race and finish the swimathon as soon as possible. But there people like me, who were just there to enjoy the view and cruise peacefully through the beautiful vast ocean.

Bamm! The gun was shot. I quickly started my freestyle. Not too slow, but not too fast. Relaxing and keeping pace with the main crowd. It was so enjoying and relieving. I felt so free. Some of us started to do strokes for fun - butterfly and breast stroke. I was too. It was so fun, I waited for the big wave to come then splash I stormed out from the water with my butterfly stroke. It felt so majestic! I saw a few pakciks in front of me also were doing the same thing.

In the middle, I started feeling disoriented. About 1 hour 45 minutes after the release. I had my watch. So I watched my time closely to track my course. A kayak called me out, saying that I was so far from the main course. The current pushed many of the swimmers aside. The current was strong. I needed to learn to use my front hand during the freestyle to 'feel' whether the wave would be up or down so that I could catch my breath properly. If not, when my face emerged, it would be covered in water then I would lose my chance to breath properly. Breathing needed to be kept steady. I didn't want any accumulation of lactic acid to interrupt the swim.

There was a time when I lifted my head to relax - I saw nothing in front of me, behind, left and right. No kayaks, no main land, no pulau, nothing. Perhaps the waves were too high I couldn't see anything. I felt afraid. But then, I felt thrilled. Still, in the midst of the swim, I couldn't help but to feel we humans are incomparably small. So small, tiny, and helpless. That's the way I felt during the swim. To Allah, the Lord of the seven seas I praised. Subhanallah. In the middle of that swim, I felt the loneliness. Only Allah and me. It felt romantic though.

I slowed my pace a while. My watch showed 2 hours 30 minutes had elapsed. The fatigue just started to kick in. I stopped at a kayak for one minute to drink water. In that condition, water was essential. I swam and accidentally gulped a lot of sea water. So, I was dehydrated. Then, Alhamdulillah, I saw the balloon arc finishing gate at far sight.

"At last" I sighed. The sun started to glare already. I did not apply any lotion or sunblock cream. At that time, there were three swimmers with me. And we seemed to struggle to set the direction of our swim because the current kept pushing us away. We needed to do sighting every few and then to really optimize our remaining energy. I felt so exhausted. My deltoids and triceps started to burn.

The last phase seemed the longest. The water kept pushing me back. Felt tired of sighting, I just counted until 200 strokes every time to sight.

At last! I arrived. I saw my brothers Ayaz dan Saif were jumping excitedly seeing me out of the water. Other swimmers also beside me, three of them. All of us somehow a bit disoriented. We could not stand properly and walked like a drunk person. We were greeted by a government official. He gave me the shirt and congratulated me with the finisher medal.

Somewhere I belong
I searched for my mum and dad quickly after that. I found my mum and I hugged her very very closely. Tears escaped my eyes. Thank you mama. I hugged my dad. He gave me a manly pat behind my back and said, "Mama cakap menyesal lepaskan Asif dalam laut tadi. Ingatkan asif tak sampai-sampai mama takut asif lemas" and he laughed. My mum laughed also. Well, that was happiness. And my brothers all came to me to peluk-peluk. Haha geli. Tak pernah nak peluk sebelum ini pun, tetiba.
Still disoriented!

I found what I searched. Alhamdulillah. It's a secret. But, trust me, the swim was worthy. Definitely.

I shut down during the trip back home, and my deltoids and traps were sore as bad as they could be. I could not even lift my hands to drive. Imagine!

And the sijil!

One day, I will compete in a triathlon event. Aim set. Let us execute.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Cinta di mana?

Sebelum cuti bermula, kami meluangkan masa bersama seorang ustaz yang sangat dihormati di Penang. Seorang lulusan Yaman, dia banyak membuka minda kami mengenai dunia. Aku mengaguminya dengan rapat kerana beliau telah menjelaskan Usul Isyrin kepadaku dengan begitu jelas sekali, bagaimana pada hari ini aku menggunakan prinsip-prinsip tersebut dalam melihat dunia. Beliau juga seorang yang sangat mendalam ilmunya di dalam sirah. Bagaimana beliau menggariskan panduan sirah dan mengaitkannya dengan kehidupan sangat aku kagumi.

Perancangan asalnya ialah untuk kami bersama beliau sehari suntuk untuk belajar dengan beliau (rancangan murabbi kami). Setibanya di rumah beliau, beliau mengajak kami keluar jalan-jalan. Pergi makan sana sini (I was forced to declare that day my cheat day). Sepanjang jaulah kami ke sekeliling Penang, ada beberapa perkongsian yang beliau ceritakan pada kami, untuk pengajaran bersama. Aku merasakan ini sangat perlu untuk aku nukilkan di sini, untuk manfaat bersama dan juga untuk nota pada diriku masa hadapan.

Lafaz yang umum tidaklah dimaksudkan untuk generalization. Frasa umum dikhususkan maksudnya pada yang terlibat.

1. Ukhuwwah
Betapa ukhuwwah itu asas kegemilangan. Seperti sudah menjadi tradisi hari ini untuk yang mengikuti dakwah ini melalui bahan-bahan dengan intense dan padat, sampai lelah dibuatnya. Sekejap program sana, sekejap program sini. Mutabaah yang ketat, rigid, dan bi'ah yang sangat serius. Tiada santainya, tiada relaksnya, tiada rehatnya. Yang ingin berehat, santai dan berhenti sebentar seperti tidak mengambil urusan dakwah dengan serius..

"Mana nta kenal akh ni?", "Oh ana kenal dia dari program".. Ustaz mengungkap seperti sesetengah ukhuwwah yang lahir pada hari ini datangnya dari program-program.

Sedang pakcik makcik dulu-dulu membinanya dengan penuh kehangatan, gelak ketawa, kemesraan, kepercayaan, yang lahir semulajadi tanpa dipaksa dan bukannya plastik. Sebab itu dengan izin Allah kebanyakan mereka masih bersama di dalam gerabak dakwah.

Apa yang ustaz nak sampaikan pada kami ialah supaya kami bersama-sama mad'u kami, untuk ukhuwwah yang sebenarnya. Bukan ukhuwwah program. Ukhuwwah yang kekal, walau selepas mereka memilih untuk tak ikut tarbiyah, kita teruskan. Biar cinta yang lahir itu tidak didasarkan pada apa-apa, kecuali Allah. Walau agamanya sudah kurang, kita hulurkan tangan. Walau tarbiyah tidak terjaga, kita tetap hulurkan tangan. Moga-moga dengan izin Allah dia kembali bersama gerabak dakwah. Kerana jika cinta kerana Allah, walau apa yang terjadi, kita tetap akan ada untuknya.

Kadang-kadang aku tak boleh comprehend siapa yang kata tak boleh nak kawan sebab dia dah berubah, agama tak jaga, hubungan dengan Allah tak jaga, tinggalkan yang memperlahankan dakwah dan sebagainya. Kita berkawan atas dasar kerana Allah atau dia? Maksud aku, kita selalu kata, rupa dan populariti akan pudar, harta akan kurang, tapi agama kekal. Kalau agama dia berubah, kita tinggalkan dia. Aku tak boleh comprehend. Aku tak faham. Agama juga manipulated variable, Allah yang constant. Andai dia hanyut, tugas kita genggam dan pegang. Apa-apa yang terjadi, kita setia. Kita tetap di sisi, berdoa, bertahan. Kalau dia putus asa pada Tuhan, tugas kita sambungkan kembali. Entah. Aku tak subscribe pada idea macam itu.

Ustaz bercerita kisah-kisah bagaiman ikhwah akhawat yang hari ini padu dan laju di dalam dakwah walau telah berkeluarga, kerana masing-masing ada kenangan hangatnya ukhuwwah. Dan yang laju, rigid, keras, dan 'mee segera', kebanyakannya hilang sama ada ditelan zaman atau dilanda konflik. Tiada lagi yang mengikat.

Moga ukhuwwah terus mengikat..

2. Keluarga
Ustaz juga bercerita betapa hari ini banyak masalah rumahtangga terjadi dalam kalangan ikhwah akhawat muda. Bukan dalam jemaah ini sahaja, tapi masalah ini masalah nasional. Macam mana keluarga dakwah, atau al Bait al Muslim yang difahami sangat ideal. Isteri yang mengutamakan program berbanding suami, suami isteri yang hilang nilai romantiknya, yang sanggup pergi program walaupun anak adam. Ayat Al Quran mengutamakan Allah berbanding keluarga, ibu bapa, dan anak-anak telah disalahfahami konteksnya, kerna ayat itu merujuk kepada konteks aqidah.

Sehingga ada yang ingin berhenti usrah kerana terasa hati pada pasangan yang lebih mengutamakan jemaah berbanding pasangan. Terlalu ideal, rigid, dan serius. Mujahadah telah disalahfahami dengan rigidity dan keseriusan. Pasangan menganggap nikah ini hanya untuk dakwah, tiada usaha untuk memurnikan keluarga itu sendiri, hanya platform. Lupa. Mereka lupa. Marhalah kedua selepas individu muslim adalah keluarga muslim.

Kenapa bersusah membina individu muslim kemudian membiarkan keluarga muslim begitu? Keluarga adalah lapangan dakwah. Usaha harus dilakukan. Bukan sekadar bernikah, beranak, tapi membiarkan anak-anak kerana sibuk dengan kerja dakwah. Ustaz mengingatkan andai berlaku seperti itu, tak mustahil anak-anak akan menjadi musuh dakwah pada masa hadapan.

Nasihat ustaz, be romantic. Bawa pasangan pergi dating, jalan-jalan, bagi hadiah. Keep it alive. (Ustaz dah 8 tahun kahwin pun kalau jalan pegang tangan dengan isteri lagi, di rumah ustaz ada couple mug, makan pun suap menyuap lagi..)

Insya Allah, tak plan untuk menjadi anak, abang, suami, dan ayah yang membelakangkan keluarga kerana dakwah. The option is not mutually exclusive. It's not either family or dakwah. It is both and that's life. It's about how you manage.

3. Akhlaq
Di akhir sekali, akhlaq. Akhlaq yang baik, indah, mudah didekati, mesra adalah buah dari tarbiah dan ibadah. Hasil ketaatan pada Allah akan terzahir pada akhlaq yang baik. Perkara-perkara yang dianggap kecil seperti melayan haiwan, melayan warga asing sehingga perkara yang besar - semuanya indah andai disandarkan akhlaq yang baik.

Pengikat jiwa itu adalah akhlaq yang indah. Seorang kawan yang mengambil berat, abang yang penyayang, pelajar yang menghormati, ayah yang menyayangi, suami yang romantik, pekerja yang amanah, da'i yang mencintai dan menyeru kepada kecintaan kepada Allah, ummat nabi yang mencontohi nabi, dan akhir sekali sebaik akhlaq adalah akhlaq yang merendah diri dihadapan Rabbnya. Mengagungkan perintah Tuhannya dan berkasih sayang dengan makhluqnya - dua prinsip pengabdian dan khalifah [Qawaid Dakwah, Qaidah 1 - Hammam Said]

Kalau sudah kasih sayang itu buahnya, mengapa tidak ternampak? Adakah ianya tidak berbuah?

Wallahu a'lam, sekadar catatan dan perkongsian. Moga-moga ada manfaat.

p/s - Sedih sebenarnya course mate ramai pindah kampus ke Pasir Gudang. Gambar di bawah adalah gambar bersama classmates merangkap bekas anak usrah - malam terakhir kami bersama. 90% memori aku di Penang adalah dengan depa ni. Gambar lain unavailable.

p/s 2 - lagi tiga hari saya akan bertanding di International Kapas-Marang Swimathon 2014. Open water competition. Track 6.5 kilometers crossing the sea from Pulau Kapas to Marang. Doakan saya selamat sampai :) Nanti saya post di sini pengalaman sepanjang renang across the sea. Tak sabar nak tengok Nemo berenang-renang di bawah kaki. Harap tak ada ikan jos.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Destinasi cinta

Aku seorang pengembara. Aku menjelajah, menyesal, memahami, dan memperbaiki. A constant struggle to be a better person.

Sekarang, aku masih bersyukur kenapa Allah lemparkan aku ke Penang. Dalam keadaan pada permulaannya aku tidak dapat menerima hakikat, namun lama kelamaan hikmah mula menampakkan dirinya. Di sini, aku belajar banyak perkara, terlalu banyak mengenai kehidupan.

Aku bekerja untuk menampung hidupku, tak cukup duit aku puasa, dah kebulur baru pakai emergency call haha. Teringin nak mula bisnes, cuma belum mampu urus masa dengan baik. Aku seorang yang mengejar kualiti, terutama dalam pemahaman dan akademik. Aku tidak bisa duduk diam, andai satu-satu topik itu tidak aku fahami dengan baik. Kerna aku merasakan aku akan menyumbang untuk manusia satu hari nanti dengan ilmu aku, jadi aku rasa aku tidak boleh berbasa basi dalam amanah ini. Masa sekarang ini pun dah terlalu penuh, dengan akademik dan tarbiah. Andai aku menambah lagi, aku takut kualiti menurun dalam keduanya. Aku rasa aku perlu ubah persepsi, untuk memandang bisnes itu sebagai jihad untuk ummah. 

Still, engineer akan buat bisnes juga. Memang aim nak buka syarikat selepas ada pengalaman kerja dan networking.

Destinasi cinta - sudah lama aku mencari, tersalah, tersilap pandang, tersakiti, semua sudah. 

Lestarikan wadi kalbuku, oh Tuhanku...
Leraikan aku dari pautan nafsu..
Biarpun sukar bagiku melamar redhaMu..
Namun masihku mengharap ampunanMu..

Aku balik sekejap hari itu.. Cuti 4 hari. Saja balik, baru dapat gaji jadi mentor Fakulti Elektrik, beli tiket nak tengok Ayaz dan Saif sukan, sambil lawat Muaz. Ayaz dan Saif siap call lagi, suruh balik. Seronok bercerita dalam telefon, masing-masing dah masuk TaekwonDo dan Silat.

Aku balik, Saif minta ajar Taekwondo. Dia tak ingat pattern dia, dah lah comel. Ayaz pula silat macam menari. Dengan si Saif cranky, lepas itu minta susu. Aku suruh cium pipi, dia cium, dengan hingus sekali melekat dekat muka aku. Dengan Ayaz yang ceritanya tak pernah nak habis, movie baru keluar kata dah tengok. Haha. Dengan Naim ajak cutting, sampai sekarang tak start-start lagi, dengan Amru ajak main game. Iman ajak selfie tak habis-habis. Dengan Muaz aku pergi Merlimau lawat dia, dia pergi bawak buku minta aku ajar Trigo. Haiz. And what more could I ask? When I think back, I have these wonderful people around me. It's love, this is love. My heart is filled with that, it's pure and original. Yet, I searched for another and hurt someone else T.T

Aku masih ada mak yang masih risau kalau aku balik pagi-pagi, walau aku pergi keluar jumpa ikhwah atau ke daurah. Mak aku marah aku sebab seluar koyak, dan komplen asyik koyak seluar tapi last-last dia tolong jahitkan. Aku masih ada ayah yang masih ambil berat, sentiasa tanya khabar macam aku budak-budak lagi. Ayah yang cukup humble untuk belajar tajwid dengan anak-anak dia, yang cukup humble tanya anak pasal usrah dan tarbiyah. Tanya nak beli baju baru ke seluar ke selipar ke. Perhaps he has forgotten how he raised me, he thought I would worry over such things. I was raised in hardship, I know how to survive. I have a wonderful family, wonderful parents and cute(read: sometimes ultimately annoying) siblings.

Therefore, I am grateful.

Oleh sebab itu, aku berjanji dari dulu lagi, atas sebab nikmat Allah ini, aku ingin menyerahkan nyawa dan perjuanganku untuk melihat pembebasan bumi Palestin. Aku tak sanggup melihat betapa ramai yang menderita, diambil haknya, dibunuh keluarganya. 

Aku ingin menyumbang, untuk melihat pembebasan manusia di serata dunia, dan Palestin menjadi paksi untuk pembebasan umat manusia seluruhnya. Dan untuk itu, aku perlukan kekuatan dari Tuhan, untuk tarbiyah diriku, kekuatan jasmani, intelektual, juga kewangan. 

Aku ingin menjadi syahid yang sebenar-benarnya, aku merindui syuhada' yang dibentangkan profil mereka di dalam usrah aku, aku menjadi cemburu melihat teganya nabi-nabi dalam menghadapi ummah. 

Allahumma amitni bi mauti syuhada'.

Betapa pemurahnya Allah, sudahlah Dia memiliki semua ini, kita peminjamnya, masih lagi Dia menawarkan perniagaan supaya hambaNya untung. T.T

Destinasi cinta yang ku cari..
Sebenarnya terlalu hampir..
Hanya kabur kerana dosa didalam hati..

Moga aku pulang kepada Tuhanku dalam keadaan yang Dia redha.

Wahai pemilik Cinta, sampaikanlah aku kepada CintaMu, hanya cintaMu. Tiada yang lain. Insya Allah.

p/s1: Aku dah buat resolve stop gaming, bukan sebab atas ianya negatif, tidak. Aku masih advocator yang game ini progresif dan produktif kalau betul cara dia, cuma aku tak ada masa dah nak main. Item semua dah bagi, kecuali satu. Sebab satu itu hadiah dari kawan baik. 

Bak kata naqib aku, keuzuran telah diangkat dari umat sejak turunnya wahyu. Total submission. 

p/s2: Sekarang tengah nak cutting. Hasan Heng pun dah mesej ajak cutting. Kena strict sikit makan, insya Allah first month beli coupon untuk gym, then lepas itu fokus untuk conditioning untuk swimming competition nanti. 

p/s3: Sekarang dah ajar 4 orang berenang, depa dah pandai breast stroke dan freestyle. Baru sorg lagi baru join, for a healthier life.