Eased turn over - Analogue Electronics

Last semester, I've taken a hard subject. It was Analogue Electronics and the subject somehow did not seem to have the same pattern as the other electrical and engineering subject I've taken before. Perhaps the view was only from me.

One of my principles in studying is to never put the blame on your teacher if something does not happen the way you want. My senior said that barakah was something worthy to hold and grasp dearly. Barakah comes in respecting teachers and respecting the knowledge. The intention of why you are studying will make you different from others.

Before, whenever my friends ended up in classes taught by problematic lecturers, I have always told them to do their part. I did not deny their complaints. For the sake of efficiency, I told them to be the manipulated variable. Their exam results would be the responded variable and lecturers would be the constant. Therefore, the end results would be depending on how they act upon. However, life was not that easy and simple. Even in mathematics, we know in certain functions, no matter how we tweak the inputs, if the important constants are still there, the output would be in the same range. Whether it is negative or smaller than 1, even infinity. And therefore, I have seen some of my friends failed and repeated subjects. Still, in my opinion, they did not try hard enough.

Interestingly, last semester was the semester in which I went through the exact same thing as my friends went through. The difficulty level added when the required books were not there in the library, and all I have to depend solely on was the lecturer's notes. Being the class rep for the subject (a job that I was very not fond of), I was responsible to inform my classmates if any class was canceled or any other thing. At the early of the semester, the seven hours a week classes were cut by our lecturer to only four hour classes a week. She canceled it without any explained reasons. Even with the four hours balance, the class was often canceled without no replacement class. Initially, my classmates cherished it. Later, due to the difficulty of the subject and the unbelievable velocity the lecturer's cover the syllabus to meet the duty roster, we began to realize that this would go bad.

The situation went worse during midterm tests and quizzes, our lecturer told the exact subtopic and questions that would be asked in the tests. In my point of view, she did that to compensate for the time she'd cut for our. And she even did that during our final exam. In the end, she asked me to tell my classmates if they want nice marks, they ought to write nice feedback about her in our online feedback report. I did not know whether she was kidding or not, but at that time I was already furious.

For those who can catch up easily were simple, but for those who could not, I saw they had a hell of a time to understand the subject. That made me a bit angry and frustrated. Approaching final exam, my carry mark was 22 over 40. I did not take note when she told us 'soalan bocor' as I thought it was inappropriate. Plus, I was egoistic. Test was meant to challenge. There was no point of doing test when you know what you were gonna face. I want my mark to indicate my level of understanding. Not how much I know the soalan bocor.

My carry mark was not a blow for me although it was the lowest so far. It was expected. Still, I could see my friends' frustration and disappointment. My understanding for the subject at that point was fuzzy and unclear. Therefore I could not help my friends. Even I needed help at that time. During the study week period, the urge to blame my lecturer and not doing nothing was insurmountable. I tried my best to stand up to my words and not doing the thing I refrain others to do. I always told myself, if some things gonna change, I need to start the change. Not others. At that point, I've spent some sleepless nights just to understand the subject, still the firm understanding was way too far. I've just got to push harder.

Alhamdulillah. Allah really helped me through. Two of my adik usrahs, I was proud to say their names, Hamizan Arif and Asma'an Affandi were the ones who helped me through. Being taught by different lecturer than mine, they helped me understand the subject essentially from A to Z. They spent three days before the paper to teach me and others. From morning to night. The only break was to pray, eat, nap and sleep. But, they really pushed all of us to understand the subject. I did not know how could I repay them because what they did for us was very helpful. Those three days were among the most intense and packed days in my life.

I was determined to obtain an A for this subject. For my personal record. So far, there was no B in my subject grades. That day, the paper was tough, but it was eased. I can answer the questions although I didn't manage to finish them all due to insufficient time. Still, I was blessed that day. I did what was needed to be done. I was the class rep, I was the one who held the responsibility to report what had happened the whole semester. Instead of blaming and backbiting, it was more efficient and significant to write a proper online report so that future students would not need to go through what we have gone through. She will understand why I wrote the feedback that way, Insya Allah. Still, a lecturer will always have my respect. She had taught me. She earned my respect. The things we had gone through this semester, perhaps she too were going through rough moments that we did not know. We just need to be more empathy and understanding.

Normal circuit

Electronic circuit

And my result came through later. I got B for the subject. Alhamdulillah.

Next time, I need to really observe my lecturer for the first week.

Above are basic images of circuit.

Beautiful - Euler's identity

Just arrived home this morning. Hoping to join the task force for PR in KL. Still waiting for further instruction.

Perspective.

In the midst of this intense political weather, men must not forget to attend the prayer at mosque and to maintain their akhlaq. It's easy to lose your cool head especially when you meet someone who is so irrational in front of hard evidence. Fanatics, or as we students prefer to call them, macai. But even I may be in the same spot as him in his view. Wallahu a'lam. May Allah guide us and free us from fanaticism and blind obedience.

My best friend, Asyraf Roslan showed me this identity. And hitherto, it is the most beautiful identity I've ever seen. It is known as Euler's Identity. Want to know more about Euler? Click

Why suddenly? Today is his birthday. He was an exceptional mathematician. I'm a student of science and math, so I think our Malaysian society should know more about these wonderful heroes of the world that have contributed so much to the world without us realizing it. So, check out the grand identity of Euler, as Richard Feynman(physicist) put it, 'the most remarkable formula in mathematics'.

Euler's Identity

Beautiful isn't it? Just simple, elegant, wonderful, and truly magnificent. Masya Allah.

Selamat berPRU dengan berakhlaq dan selamat.

Salam.

Catatan pengalaman bekerja di MAHA International 2012

* Ini catatan peribadi. Tidak mewakili individu mahupun institusi lain.

Alhamdulillah. Cuti kali ini aku isikan dengan manfaat, insyaAllah. Moga Allah redha. Aku bahagikan masa untuk keluarga aku - duduk rumah, main game dengan adik-adik besar, jalan-jalan dengan adik-adik kecil, malah ketika aku menaip post ini adik-adik kecil sedang bermain basikal di belakang aku. Aku cakap pada adik-adik kecil aku, nak jadi budak sejati kena naik basikal biar jatuh luka berdarah lutut siku berkali-kali. Belajar dari kesilapan. Macam aku dulu. Ceh. Sampai pokok jambu yang tinggi itupun aku panjat buat gaya kelawar kalau jatuh mesti patah tengkuk. Lepas itu balik kena rotan. :)

Masa aku bahagikan juga untuk pergi ke seminar-seminar, majlis ilmu, kuliah dan kursus. Membaca tidak lekang pada malam-malam yang kosong alhamdulillah. Walaupun buku Raheeq Makhtum belum habis baca, sebab terlalu banyak ilmu untuk dicatit dan dihurai dalam buku itu. Aku perlu catit isi-isi penting semasa membaca, termasuk rujukannya. Supaya senang dirujuk suatu hari nanti. Selain itu, aku menulis balik apa yang dah jadi input, supaya lebih memahami untuk amalan. Buku-buku nipis alhamdulillah habis dibaca. Buku yang aku rasa paling memberi impak ialah What I Believe oleh pakcik Tariq Ramadan dan juga Dahsyatnya Ibadah oleh Pak Amr Khalid.

Dan lagi sebahagian masa cutiku untuk bekerja. Alhamdulillah, kali ini dapat job di MAHA International 2012. Sebagai crew yang menjaga 'show ground' laman ternakan dan laman jentera, under department Outdoor - Exhibition and Operation - MARDITECH. Aku mendapat seorang partner yang bernama Azizi, seorang guru dan performer Qasidah. Kami mula bekerja 2 hari sebelum MAHA bermula. Aku keluar rumah pada pukul 7.30 (more or less) dan perjalananku di atas motor mengambil masa selama 45 minit tops sebelum aku sampai di tempat aku bekerja. Masa aku bekerja berakhir kebiasaannya pada pukul 11 malam, kalau debrief berjalan lancar.

Laman Ternakan
Alhamdulillah. Tugas aku secara basicnya agak mudah. Meronda dan memantau area ternakan dan machinery, menugaskan kontraktor dan electrician andai terdapat masalah pada wiring dan khemah, menjadi tempat pertanyaan pengunjung andai terdapat apa-apa inquiry atau masalah, dan yang terakhir handle exhibitor dan peniaga secara matang dan berhemah dan membawa perkara berkaitan ke pihak yang berkaitan.

Area ternakan sangatlah luas. Banyak crew lain yang mengatakan area kami terlalu luas hanya untuk kami berdua sahaja cover. Alhamdulillah, dua-dua ada motor. Tak ada masalah sangat. Cuma nak cover area yang perlu berjalan kaki amatlah besar. Terutamanya bila perlu sweep the area every hour or two hours.

Laman ternakan adalah kawasan yang sangat interesting. Terdapat pameran ternakan hidup yang mempamerkan rusa, kambing, ayam, arnab dan juga lembu. Dalam dewan pameran ternakan pula ada burung-burung dan ayam-ayam yang sangat cantik, dan harganya sangat mind-blowing. Fasa kedua pameran juga ada pameran kucing. Meluangkan masa selama hampir dua minggu di area ternakan, aku sudah mula mengenali manakah lembu yang baik bakanya, manakah baka pedaging dan baka tenusu. Aku mula mengenali Charolaise, juga baka Limousine. Aku mula menyayangi baka Brahman. Aku mengagumi baka baru yang dibangunkan oleh MARDI iaitu Brakmas. Saban pagi sewaktu membuat rondaan pagiku pergi dari satu pameran ke satu pameran bertanyakan apakah masalah yang ingin dilontarkan dan diselesaikan, aku mengisi sela-sela masaku dengan membelai-belai lembu-lembu itu. Sangatlah besar lembu-lembu yang berada di situ, ada yang menyamai ketinggianku. Aku juga mula mengenali kambing Boer yang membawa baka yang sangat bernilai. Kambing African Dwarf yang saban hari akan ada pengunjung yang bertanya dimanakah dapat mereka membeli kambing itu. Sempat juga aku bermain-main dengan arnab - Teddy Bear, juga Holand Hop, dan Red Eye. Pada waktu petang, aku akan membaca ma'thurat di sebelah kawanan rusa jinak. Kali pertama aku mendengar bunyi rusa merengek. Sepanjang 21 tahun aku hidup, tidak pernah sekali pun aku mendengar rusa bersuara, tapi Alhamdulillah aku mendengar suara itu semasa aku bekerja di situ. Di situlah aku tahu betapa bernilainya tanduk rusa, Velvet.

Tidak lupa juga kepada binatang yang sangat comel dan setia kepada tuannya, sugar glider. Binatang ini dia akan setia sampai dia mati. Selalu je nampak orang jalan-jalan sambil sugar glider ini duduk atas bahu tuan dia. Tanpa diikat. Harga asas RM200. Perrh.. Terbatuk-batuk masa first time dengar. Tapi masih tak boleh lawan harga ayam dan burung [RM 500-3000], kambing dan lembu.

Aku juga sempat berjumpa dengan ayam yang sangat besar, Giant Coachin, hampir sama tinggi dengan pinggang Saif. Juga ayam-ayam yang tak pernah aku nampak seumur hidupku. Aku tak nak belai-belai ayam. Sebab dulu selalu kena kejar dengan ibu ayam masa kecil. Aku berpeluang duduk bersama-sama volunteers dan veterinars yang meluangkan masa untuk berjuang demi binatang-binatang. Aku berjumpa dengan pelajar-pelajar yang menjadi rescue team untuk anjing dan kucing semasa masa lapang mereka. Terima kasih aku ucapkan pada Save A Stray Malaysia dan Scratch(Kucing Terbiar Anjing Jalanan) sebab memberi aku peluang untuk duduk bersama-sama dan menimba ilmu. Hari pertama aku berjumpa mereka, aku terus bertanya, macam mana mereka beroperasi. Aku meminta kad untuk dihubungi dan aku memberitahu mereka, aku ingin membuka satu pusat perlindungan binatang bila aku besar nanti. Sebelum tiba masa itu, aku ingin belajar sebanyak-banyaknya dengan mereka. Terlalu banyak kezaliman dan ketidakadilan terhadap binatang yang telah berlaku. Dan aku membenci setiap saat apabila aku tak berdaya untuk membantu dan hanya mampu untuk berdoa.

Laman Jentera
Berada di dalam bidang kejuruteraan berasaskan elektrik, tidaklah susah untuk aku menghargai betapa bernilainya jentera-jentera yang dipamerkan. MasyaAllah, yang dipamerkan lebih 90 peratus produk tempatan. Seperti mesin mengupas buah kelapa, buah rambutan malah buah durian! Macam-macam mesin dan jentera ada. Jawatanku sebagai crew yang memantau area jentera memudahkan aku untuk berjumpa sendiri manager-manager pameran dan bertanyakan mengenai inovasi produk, kolaborasi dan kerjasama, malah peluang pekerjaan. Saat itu, aku berasa bangga menjadi warga Malaysia.

Electricians dan aku
Alhamdulillah, kebanyakan masa aku bekerja, aku meluangkan masa untuk belajar mengenai asas-asas power dan elektrik. Aku pergi berjumpa bos electrician meminta izin supaya dapat ikut sama-sama dan memerhati kerja-kerja yang dilakukan. Antara sebab utama mengapa kulit aku rentung di bahagian lengan dan muka adalah disebabkan aku berada di lapangan tak kira masa hujan atau panas. Sebab kuasa elektrik sangat penting untuk pameran dan maintenance, jadi keutamaan adalah untuk mengembalikan kuasa elektrik kepada dewan, exhibitor dan peniaga. Asalnya tugas aku hanyalah memaklumkan pada kontraktor di mana tempat bermasalah, tapi alang-alang dah ada peluang, apa lah sangat kotorkan seluar baju berpanas dan berhujan nak dibandingkan dengan pengalaman yang dapat. Ada 3 technicians Bangla, seorang Indonesia, dan seorang Melayu. Merekalah kawan-kawan aku semasa aku bekerja di sana. Mereka sering dimarahi dan dimaki oleh exhibitor dan peniaga bila ketiadaan power, dan akulah yang akan berada di sana untuk meredakan keadaan, dan kadang-kadang bila hilang sabar, exhibitor pula akan dapat lecture aku mengenai basic consumption of power. Orang kita ini pelik, khemah dipower untuk kegunaan pameran. Jadi bila mereka pasang dua tiga extension untuk charge laptop, handphone, tambah lampu, tambah freezer tambah kipas kaki, laptop pula kalau boleh satu khemah itu nak lima laptop. Kemudian bila wayar terbakar, connector cair, plug meletup mula nak mengamuk. Kalau marah itu normal, tapi bila yang dihambur adalah maki hamun sumpah seranah, aku rasa kasihan pada electricians ini.

Tapi exhibitor macam itu tak semua. Ramai sahaja yang bila dah setel masalah, bagi kami susu free, daging kambing free dan macam-macam lagi. Pada hari terakhir, aku belanja mereka makan dan aku salam dan peluk mereka. Rasa sedih juga nak berpisah. Ceh. Tacing pulak.

Ada juga DJ yang tak reti nak perlahankan volume masa azan. Siap karaoke lagi. Aku cakap elok-elok tiga kali sepanjang dua minggu aku bekerja. Pada hari kedua terakhir, masa azan Maghrib berkumandang, mereka berkaraoke dengan sangat kuat. Sebenarnya ramai exhibitor dan visitor yang complain, tapi sebab DJ tersebut ada di situ melalui 'orang atas', bila ditegur jadi tak lut. Masa itu, aku terus melangkah dengan perasaan yang meluat, aku naik stage pergi pada PA system, aku cakap "Abang-abang kakak-kakak sekalian, saya ini student power engineering. Setakat saya nak short-circuitkan PA abang ni sekejap je saya boleh buat, abang nak saya bagi port dekat speaker abang terbakar pun saya boleh buat, tu semua basic bagi saya. Sekarang ni tengah azan, saya minta tolong hormat. Tutup karaoke, kalau tak nak tutup alih speaker tempat lain jangan sampai saya dengar. Kita orang Islam, tolong hormat. Terima kasih." Dan aku berlalu pergi. Masa itu marah sangat. Di area ternakan dan machinery, ada 3 DJ. Lagi dua DJ siap pasang azan lagi. DJ satu ini aku pun tak faham kenapa tak boleh hormat. Walhal orang Islam.

Kismot, Sulaiman, Salman dan An.

An dan Ijal

Bharat

Yang semua di atas ini group pertama. Mereka handle khemah punya electrical component dan wiring, generator dan distribution box. Ada lagi satu group electricians, under company 2J handle bahagian lain. Dengan kedua-dua group ini lah aku bersama sepanjang MAHA. Macam-macam aku belajar. Daripada troubleshoot problems sehingga merasa kena renjatan sampai sakit jari masa hujan. Pengalaman yang amat bernilai.

Bosses
Aku ada tiga boss atas aku. Boss under Outdoor, namanya Firdaus aka Fida. Dia seorang yang sangat sempoi, muda dan belum berkahwin. Sporting dan masuk dengan orang-orang muda. Sebab dia pun muda. Daripada dia aku belajar pengurusan dan PR yang baik.  Atas Fida, namanya tak nak aku sebutkan. Sebab dia seorang yang sombong. Atasnya lagi merupakan manager MAHA, namanya Encik Joehan. Kami panggil Encik Joe. Walaupun agak tua, tapi punya lah humble dan 'rock' kalau perkataan ini sesuai. Walaupun first day ada staff dah kena tengking, kami crew Operation alhamdulillah dia kamceng.

Tertinggal topi aku atas motor dia pula.

Nak ceritanya, tiap-tiap hari masa aku check in, di HQ Operation and Exhibition, ada motor Harley Davidson. Sampainya lagi awal dari kami, crew Operation, perginya lagi lewat dari kami. Jadi kami tak tahu siapa tuan dia. Sampai hari ketiga terakhir, baru kami tahu itu motor Encik Joe. Aku ini faham-faham lah macam mana. Kalau nampak motor macam ini, mulalah excited. CC motor ini 883.

Hari terakhir aku berjumpa dengan seorang bro. Masa kami lunch di HQ, dia duduk bersama-sama kami. Sambil open kotak rokoknya, dia bercakap "Bro, aku masa muda dulu macam engkorang lah jugak. Tapi aku sesat jalan, Tuhan balas". Dia berkongsi macam-macam dengan kami. Dia berasal dari keluarga miskin, jual karipap sahaja. Dia berpesan, bila dapat duit yang penting sekali bagi pada parents dan family. Itu mesti utamakan. Dalam apa-apa hal. Yang kedua, jangan tikam belakang bila buat bisnes. Yang ketiga, nak cari partner, isteri atau kawan, cari yang sanggup susah sekali sama-sama. Yang terakhir, jangan sombong di dunia ini, dengan Tuhan dan manusia. Dia berkongsi mengenai bisnes, dari macam mana mula dengan korporat enterprise dan SDN BHD, kepada networking, kepada retails punya strategy dan marketing. Macam-macam juga aku tanya. Masa itu kami tak tahu siapa dia. Tapi dia pakai baju korporat. Boss kepada Fida masuk masa kami tengah makan sama-sama, dia kata pada bro itu, "Boss, kenapa duduk sekali dengan diorang ni?". Bro itu jawab "Asal, aku lepak sekali salah ke?". Boss kepada Fida jawab "Mana boleh. Diorang tak layak duduk sekali dengan boss. Lain taraf". Berdesing telinga aku dengar. Aku tak terasa langsung, tapi masa itu Fida yang merupakan staff ada sekali dengan staff-staff lain. Aku volunteer, memang tak terasa. Bro itu pun diam je. Bro itu pesan last sekali, "Ingat, bro jangan sombong. Kita ini bukan tuhan". Masa itu dia keluar, ada budak (visitor) tanya public phone di mana. Visitor itu cari parents dia. Bro itu ambil HP dia, tak fikir dua kali terus bagi visitor itu suruh call parents dia. Bila dia keluar HQ, itu dia, motor dia lagi tak boleh belah. Harley Davidson 1700 CC. Aku minta kad dia, dia bagi. Aku gelak seorang-seorang. Aku duduk lepak dengan electricians 2J, bro ini boss company ini rupanya. Company yang supply beratus-ratus khemah untuk MAHA 2012. MasyaAllah, moga Allah berkati bro ini.

Fida dan motor.

Ini semua boss under department aku. Sepanjang MAHA, ada je kes boss-boss bertumbuk. Ganas betul dunia pekerjaan ini. Bertumbuk betul-betul, sebab tension mungkin.

Colleagues

Mereka semua some of my colleagues under department kami. My good friends. Walaupun ada droput college, ada yang jenis merempit semua, tapi mereka ada taman dalam hati. Ada yang tak solat, tapi marah kalau orang yang solat lewat solat. Despite what people think, I choose to think good of them. Aku cuma sempat berborak, mengenali mereka dengan lebih dalam, dan berharap satu hari nanti Allah akan membantu mereka menjadi muslim yang lebih baik, kerana mereka orang baik-baik. Banyak aku belajar, moga Allah pelihara aku daripada ilmu tak bermanfaat. Apa-apa pun, aku rasa gembira dengan mereka sepanjang MAHA.

People
Kalau masa hujan, tak ada kes, aku akan duduk bawah bus stop. Tranportation di MAHA guna bus, trem dan trak. Jadi, akan ada ramai yang rehat-rehat bawah bus stop. Aku jumpa macam-macam orang di sini. Daripada acik microbiologist, abang tatoo, mak nyah peserta pertandingan kucing cantik, kepada pakcik tasawuf. Aku belajar dan timba pengalaman.

Paling seronok, bila ada seorang orang Arab datang, tunjuk "this, bus stop?". Aku faham dia kurang fluent dalam English, terus aku speak arabic. Walaupun kurang fluent, tapi dia faham. Paling bahagia bila dia cakap moga Allah berkati aku sebab bercakap dalam bahasa al Quran. Tacing kot, dah lah hujan masa itu, lagilah sentimental. Agaknya dapat tak jumpa Nabi masa di telaga kauthar nanti?

Aku rasa kita rakyat Malaysia, masih racism. Kita masih pilih nak hormat orang ikut bangsa. Kita treat bangla dan indon macam second class. I don't know about you, but I don't agree about this.

Conclusion
Alhamdulillah, Allah kurniakan aku peluang ini. Aku rasa puas, aku manfaatkan cuti kali ini without any regrets. Aku berpeluang belajar dari pelbagai lapisan orang. Now, it's time to focus untuk universiti pula.

p/s - awak, saya dah pergi HOM dah. Tapi tak sempat pergi STS sebab dah mula kerja, ingat nak sambung di Penang nanti :)
p/s 2 - kulit sudah rentung. Angkat lengan terus Ayaz dan Saif "Huyyoo!" sebab nampak jelas sempadan kulit terbakar dan kulit biasa. Iman balik rumah pun kata, kulit muka dah terbakar! :)

Saya nak jadi Engineer yang berjaya!

Sekadar hiasan.

I am now on my way to becoming a power engineer. Even in my wildest imagination, I've never dreamed about it. But, here I am. In Penang. Studying one the hardest branches of engineering, electrical. Coming to Penang have made me revised almost everything about my whole life. About how I view the world, how I handle my emotion - this is so true since I am a very bad first-timer, and most importantly why all things that have happened to me happened. Almost every day, after Subh prayer, I would look outside my room asking  to Allah the hikmah and pondering the moments. My room faced a huge field where cows grazed. I lived at 6th floor, so you can imagine how beautiful it could be. I love doing that. The air was so fresh and cold.

Allah lets me start anew :) 

By of His grace, I would wake up every day, and never failed to utter my syukur. My early day prayer would sound somehow like this;

"Oh Allah... I am thankful for everything. For my heart that never fails me to put my faith in You. For my eyes in which I can see beautiful things. For my nose - I could breath the cold air every morning. For my ears that often took me away blissfully when hearing Al Quran and music. For my intellect and my ability to observe that always made me stunned and humbled in front of Your genius creation. For blessing me with such an amazing family. For the love you gave me to love. For my feelings of care towards others. For Iman, in which with it I would strive to seek to understand the wisdom of good and bad in my life. For letting me becoming a Huffaz and giving me the chance to preserve it. For letting me to become an Ummah of Prophet Muhammad SAW. For giving me the way to embrace Islam as my way of life. And most importantly, without it my life would not mean a thing, for letting You being my God, and for letting me to be your servant. Bless me and bless my life, and bless the people I love". [This prayer was inspired along the way when I read buku Kecerdasan Asma'ul Husna. The book was so thick, and I was so laaaaazzzyy to renew it at the library, I had to pay RM 6.00 fine in the end. -.-]

My plan

Dulu-dulu, my mind is set to becoming a physicist. Now, I've set my aim to become an engineer. So, let me tell you my plan and you will help me by praying for me. I will finish my study and I will work for big companies like TnB. After four to five years, I would appeal to my employer to continue my master part-time, and ask my employer to sponsor my PhD. I want to do my master or PhD overseas, and I will bring my wife there. After finishing my PhD, I would to take on the 'Ir' title. After that, I plan to open up my own consultation firm. From there, I will apply to be a part-time lecturer. By entering academics arena, I will be able to do networking in academics research. Just like UPM did with Islamic University of Gaza, thanks to Dr Hafidzi. So, I plan to collaborate with Palestinians. My experience as a personal escort and interpreter for two Imam Muda Gaza last Ramadan have made realized, how much they suffer not only in terms of medicine and food, they lacked almost everything. Job opportunities to electrical power. Almost everything. And I cannot stand to let things go that way. After collaborating, I want to open up orphanage and animal care centre. Our prophet loved orphans and animals. I want to place the orphanage near Al-Amin or any MUSLEH school. So that they can attend the very special school in my heart and go through tarbiyah. And at nights, they will also be loving wardens waiting for them. Not wardens with cane and strictness, but wardens with smiles, patience, and heart. If we read Prophet Muhammad's sirah, we will realize that Prophet Muhammad had never once laid its hand on any kids. When kids came to him, he would play with them. He would hug them and cherish them. He would praise them. Rindunya Nabi :'(

And animal centre. I got three cats when I was in primary school. Kitty, Kidtun, Kittan. Kitty and Kidtun are cats with spots black and white. When I berkhatan (traditional and painful like api), I used to hang kain pelekat on top of me. People yang berkhatan traditionally would know this. During this period, those two naughty cats would jump over the kain pelekat. Macam saja-saja. Sometimes they 'accidentally' jump on the kain pelekat and on the spot and I would scream so loudly and painfully. Many times. My dad once made the decision to throw them away. My dad brought them so far from our home at night. My brother and I cried heavily. You know what happened? In the morning, when I opened the door, Kitty and Kidtun jumped on me. I was so happy. My Kittan died in a car accident. It meowed so weirdly in front of my house one day, its belly was crushed. After those three passed away, I've never had any animals in my life. I loved them. And dogs! Although I cannot touch dogs, and I love dogs and I often watched 'The Dog Whisperer', I want to hire people so that they can care for stray cats and dogs. The problem with The Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan's method in handling dogs is that they don't work for cats(Of course, the method was meant for dogs =.='). When I meet cats, I often try the techniques I learned from him to those cats. But as always, I'll end up looking like a fool trying to shh shh the cat to sit and stay. And the cats will always end up looking at me with the expression "Pehal mamat ni. Buang tebiat apa?" and go away ignoring me. Haha.

I want to start 'dapur amal' as in the US too. Few things I learned last year. There are many homeless people in Malaysia. I once slept at a bus stop near Jalan Raja Laut (my old bad habit - I tend up to wander at nights if I don't feel good and stop somewhere to sleep), an old man approached me asking for just RM2. I asked what for. He said, he was hungry. I gave him some money. If you want to know, there are a few 'dapur amal' di Malaysia. 'Dapur amal' is a food centre where people who don't have enough money to eat or just homeless can come and eat. For free. People who have never been through poverty would never understand. But we can try and be considerate. I myself never feel that poverty. I feel so pity when I see many 'pengemis' at mosque and pasar. We know ada tempat yang ada sindiket. My principle - I will help for now. Beli nasi untuk mereka, beli air. Bagi kuih untuk anak-anak mereka. Entah. I don't know. Prophet Muhammad in one story, gave a man money for him to buy an axe and find some firewood to sell. That's how we should help. But, for now, how? I don't know.

These are my aims for now.

And for that to come true, I must work hard. I think if I keep the pace as I did this semester, insyaAllah I will be there.

It's a long way to go. And it is not easy, I know. But now, I am working with a power engineer who owns a power company and at the same time a part-time lecturer. He supervised the RnD robotic team I am in. So, it is not impossible. I know.

Apa yang constant?

Dreams may change. Although mine are still not. The most important thing is, you know your true place. Why do you want to chase your dreams and how? Always keep Allah as your priority. Always.

And along the way, it can only be achieved by tarbiyah.

I choose to be in IKRAM. Each has their choices. One of my anak usrah chose to be in ISMA. He once asked me what are the differences between jemaahs? Alhamdulillah. I was taught to highlight ONLY the good of others. Not weaknesses. Although in the midst of critical analysis, we tend to open up other weaknesses, but no. We are Muslims, we don't do that. We choose to do da'wah not because we want them to join our jemaah. No. We choose to do da'wah because it is our responsibility. And we do da'wah to invite others to ISLAM. And we chose what we choose because we believe that is the best choice for us to convey Islam.

The moment my anak usrah chose to be in ISMA, yes, it disappointed me a bit. But, I must accept it. And I accepted it. The good moment came when we agreed, one day maybe when our generation led the jemaah, we may at last come to an understanding and join again as one. InsyaAllah. Or maybe not. Still, he is good with me till today. Like nothing happened.

So, regardless of our jemaah, we share the same responsibility. Either you are in PAS, tabligh, ISMA, or Haluan. We invite others to Islam, and we Islah each other. Da'wah and Islah. We have differences and SIMILARITIES. Look at our own body. Some cells bring oxygen, some cells defend the body from bad agents, some cells connect and respond. Brain decides, hand feels, foot walks, eye sees, nose smells, ear listens. Our own body is a great example of harmony. Harmony - differences are dealt effectively, and similarities dimanfaatkan optimally. We share the same goal.

Islam itu rahmah. Seluruh 'alam. Muslims and non-Muslims will feel it. If we practice Islam, truly, it will be rahmah. From the individual level where Islam shapes good persons. Good persons make happy family. Happy family makes good neighbour. Good neighbours form an understanding community. Community where religious rights are respected, understanding governs, and values uphold. Noble community demands clean and efficient administration where the demands are rooted from caring concern towards future generation and their welfare. A government where 'good governance' is applied. Muslims and non-Muslims work together to strive for a better world. A world where sensitive issues are countered with akhlaq and effective intellectual response. Think what would happen if all of Muslims behave the way we should behave.

What I wish to be the constant in my life? Tarbiyah :)

So that others, you and I may leave this world in peace. I want when my soul returns, Allah greets me as in Surah al Fajr.

 (It will be said to the pious): "O (you) the one in (complete) rest and satisfaction![27] "Come back to your Lord, Well-pleased (yourself) and well-pleasing unto Him![28] "Enter you, then, among My honoured slaves,[29] "And enter you My Paradise!"[30]

The English translation is insufficient. The verses themselves are beautiful. The arabic words used are so deep. Deeeeep... Memuncak kerinduan rasa.

Allahumma amitna bi mauti syuhada'.

All in all

1. JOM! Strive for a better life and a better world. Turn your dream into actions. Don't just sit there.

2. Baru habis seminar. Nanti kalau successfully double duit I'll share. Sekarang tak boleh lagi. Dia suruh ada bukti baru bagi tahu orang. The main speaker, successfully turn USD 1000 to 2 million USD in a year.

3. Tadi buat majlis pecah botol Ayaz. Bukan pecah berkecai macam tu. Cuma, just nak rasmikan pada ayaz lepas ni tak guna botol dah. "No bottles are harmed". Selepas ni Ayaz tak minum susu guna botol dah. Abang-abang kat rumah semua menjerit "Yes! Zaman kegelapan dah berakhir! Kezaliman botol susu dah berakhir!". Although ada lagi sorang maharaja botol susu - yang paling kecik Saif. [Kelihatan Saif gelak jahat sorang-sorang di sudut ruang tamu].

4. Malam ini pergi ini pulak.

Conclusion

:)